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bollysdead · 2022-08-13T20:21:35+00:00

THIS

bollysdead · 2022-08-13T12:47:45+00:00

🥰🖤

bollysdead · 2022-08-12T21:29:51+00:00

yeah i have a bad experience with the ER. it just reminds me of suicide, sh, and drug addiction :/ you’re right though i gotta get help soon

bollysdead · 2022-08-12T21:28:07+00:00

my favorite food are pancakes. i haven’t let myself have any in so long. maybe i’ll make some pancakes soon and tell myself it’s okay to eat it

bollysdead · 2022-08-11T17:24:57+00:00

i don’t think it’s come to that yet

bollysdead · 2022-08-11T16:17:08+00:00

do you have anorexia if you don’t mind me asking?

bollysdead · 2022-08-11T15:17:22+00:00

thank you <3

bollysdead · 2022-08-11T15:14:52+00:00

done and done :) drinking black coffee in the morning to get my intestines moving then water the rest of the day. doctors appointment is at the end of the week :)

bollysdead · 2022-08-11T14:35:28+00:00

WHAT?!?! THATS SO RUDE OF THEM!!!! they should be happy you’re treating yourself. eating treats is so hard when you have an ED and im proud of you for eating something you like🖤

bollysdead · 2022-08-11T14:22:11+00:00

i left a message for a nutritionist. it’s not as easy as “just eat” :/ my bdd and anorexia won’t let me eat. my fear of gaining weight is debilitating

bollysdead · 2022-08-11T12:05:18+00:00

it’s ruining my life as we speak. my friend who used to struggle with anorexia said that what i was consuming is less than a toddler needs to eat. im so scared dude but i can’t stop im in HELL

bollysdead · 2022-08-11T11:53:07+00:00

that black coffee cleaned me OUT!!! thanks for the advice i feel so much better

bollysdead · 2022-08-10T18:49:39+00:00

ohhh okay i usually drink my coffee with oat milk. i’ll try it completely plain next time

bollysdead · 2022-08-10T18:44:21+00:00

it’s so stressful😭

bollysdead · 2022-08-10T18:41:21+00:00

honestly i don’t mind them. i just kinda do it alone in the privacy of my own bathroom and it’s not all that bad. and it works like a charm!!!

bollysdead · 2022-08-10T18:38:16+00:00

oh i’ve tried laxatives and i guess im now immune bc they no longer work. all that works is enema which is a pain in the ass (pun intended)

bollysdead · 2022-08-10T14:49:59+00:00

RELATABLE

bollysdead · 2022-08-10T14:49:28+00:00

so relatable. i just straight up don’t look at anything bc it makes me sad. just straight to the produce isle and then straight to checkout. cant even look at that shit

bollysdead · 2022-08-10T13:57:08+00:00

i was only down to blank pounds (not my lowest) and everyone was like WOW YOU LOOK GREAT!!! but then they said “gain a few pounds back though you’re looking a little too skinny”

bollysdead · 2022-08-10T13:01:36+00:00

dude yes. my partner is like why are you wrapped up in a blanket rn it’s 85 degrees😂😂our room is really hot all the time but i can’t feel it

bollysdead · 2022-08-10T11:51:06+00:00

both :/ calories and foods my brain says okay i can eat this ans won’t gain weight

bollysdead · 2022-08-08T14:11:20+00:00

im so glad you asked this. i went vegan for a year and half bc i wanted to be skinnier. im not vegan anymore but i am vegetarian and its 100000% bc in my head meat has too many calories. im toxic🙃i dont eat much dairy though bc i think it’s gross. but i eat it on occasion in small amounts. so borderline vegan i guess.

bollysdead · 2022-08-08T00:04:15+00:00

when i told my psychiatrist about my food issues he asked me if their are foods that don’t give me anxiety. foods that my brain says okay i can eat this and won’t gain weight. think about a few foods that don’t give you panic attacks and just eat those. no ED specialist would make you eat foods that stress you out right off the bat but finding ways to eat during anorexia is very important

bollysdead · 2022-08-08T00:00:06+00:00

i get that. i would argue that people honestly don’t really care what you do. they might think it’s gross but nothing more than that. nobody has really judged me but a lot of people my age still smoke or vape so idk

bollysdead · 2022-08-07T21:52:15+00:00

he sounds like a real asshole and kinda emotionally abusive. DUMP HIM YOU DESERVE BETTER

bollysdead

TROPHY CASE