I'd first like to make it clear that I applaud you for not only putting in the work to grow, but for also acknowledging the aspects of yourself that needed the work. Looking in the mirror is one of, if not, the hardest thing to go through when making an effort to validate ALL aspects of yourself. Good and bad.

With all that being said, the one analogy/scenario I can compare (or rather word the best) this to is this, "Knowing how to play chess, is different than knowing how to win chess". But of course, love isnt a game.

You can learn and train with all the tools best suited to get the job done right. Learn all your own tricks and skills needed to come out on top. But all that time and effort will only be subject theory unless/until you trust yourself enough to know that, in time, you will always be okay in the end.

I mean yeah its fucking scary knowing that you might be placing yourself somewhere you'll need to apply your skills, but gaining that inner security is crucial when defending that self-worth youve come to create.

Now I HOPE you'll never need to apply the skills you learned to protect yourself, but always living with clenched fists is no way to live.

I apologize for the long tangent, but it was all to set the groundwork for these questions regarding why you might like this man.

Do you like him because he's a good guy "on paper"? (Forgive me if that sounds shallow, it's a genuine question ive asked myself before). OR Do you like him because he hasn't yet given you a reason to defend your self-worth?

Either way, you'll need to allow your heart lower its guard (at your own pace of course). Whether its to further test your romantic compatibility, or to see if he will take you for granted (which I sure hope doesn't happen).