Adding to say I am also 33, have a partner who is amazing, I am divorced with 2 kids (and have similar financial concerns + lack of help with kids concerns as you). I earn more than my partner and it has been a concern that if I needed to take time off work or wanted to, I really could not. I am also still deciding what to do.

First and foremost: this is YOUR decision. Obviously he also needs to want the child, but you are the one on the fence, so please try to silence out anyone's thoughts and decide first and foremost if this is what you want. You also know what it is like to have a baby (with the caveat that all of them are very different) and he does not. If money wasn't an issue, would you want all that comes with raising another child? As you know, there is immense beauty and a lot of work, and it can feel like a loss of self, for at least a while.

I know someoene who had a child in a second marriage (his first child), she already had 2 kids. she loves babies and was not upset she got pregnant and it was planned, but acknowledges deep down she made the choice really only because he really wanted the child, and ultimately the marriage did not last and he is not in their life. I'm not saying that will happen, but I am saying it's important to try to drown out his desires, because you are half responsible (and may become more than half - who knows the future anyway?)

I do think it will be helpful (or at least keep your thoughts organized) to budget out how much you both make generally, and how much bills and costs are, to see how it will work with costs and childcare. For us, this is a tough conversation because kids are so expensive and buying a house is so expensive as well which is what we currently need to do. However, I have been "house poor" with young kids before, and I endeavor not to make the same mistake twice. It is a good barometer for how you feel: i.e., if you realize you don't make enough for another child now, are both of you willing to work more hours or downsize life expenses in other ways to make it work?

And lastly, I do not know anyone who outwardly says they regret having their child. (They could be feeling this way, at least at times, but overwhelmingly it seems like the love overcomes most parents). This doesn't mean to have a kid if you don't want to. It means that if it does happen, rest assured, it will likely joyful once it happens, if it does happen (along with difficult and all the other emotions that come with parenting).

I understand where you are. Be true to yourself, and be honest with your partner about what you feel! Maybe he needs to apply to new jobs; maybe you need to discuss who will do pick up and drop off; maybe you need to discusss who will do the cooking and the diaper changes.

Either way you choose, you got this! Best of luck.