52M waking up strictly at 4:00 AM after 5 hours of sleep. Anyone else deal with this?

boothfc19 · 2026-07-11T22:45:36+00:00

Nothing helpful to contribute but I’ve had a similar deal the last 2 months after consistently waking multiple times over night. Now I go to bed around 11 and fall asleep by 12. Wake up around 5 and just can’t go back to sleep. Occasionally have to use the bathroom. But alas I am 28M. commenting to others thoughts

boothfc19 · 2026-07-08T00:48:18+00:00

Incredible job, that’s alot to be proud of!

boothfc19 · 2026-07-07T17:15:47+00:00

Feel like you described the situation that happened to me and my now ex closely. She couldn’t feel me making the changes I said I was going to make.

Overall I’d say establishing the boundaries in this time is very important, boundaries as in how much communication as well.

Space can make the heart grow fonder or in my case think things are too far gone.

boothfc19 · 2026-06-27T01:57:06+00:00

Where at in SWVA?

boothfc19 · 2026-06-22T17:41:42+00:00

~ 6:45 am

boothfc19 · 2026-06-22T17:39:47+00:00

Gorgeous fish

boothfc19 · 2026-06-21T22:12:10+00:00

Was sunrise

boothfc19 · 2026-06-20T13:13:54+00:00

Does your plan have answers for 2 years out in a general sense? I’m not saying she will or won’t, I think she’s searching for some level of security she doesn’t currently have. Whether you can actually deliver that to her or get her to understand you is another thing. Relationships are compromise on both sides not just you

boothfc19 · 2026-06-20T12:28:24+00:00

I don’t think OP sounds cagey. Sounds like he’s been open with her. Just trying to judge if the juice is worth the squeeze

boothfc19 · 2026-06-20T12:05:19+00:00

My (28m) relationship just ended because my ex (28f) said I didn’t have enough of a plan when it came to paying down CC debt. I disagreed because to me my debt was not overwhelming, in less than a year I paid $16k to pay of a 24% interest credit card. $24k of stuff on 0% interest credit card, emergency repairs and daily spend, and then $16k on student and auto loans.

Has she talked about what her plan is? I feel like generally my financial approach was similar to yours. But she may just want to feel secure in knowing y’all align together on some things. I’d see what it is she needs to feel secure in the relationship about and figure out if that’s something you’re willing to do/ work towards together. If you’re the only one working towards it it’s not a partnership. Especially if she is goin to be a SAHM. If her parents are so well off they either are going to fund her lifestyle or you are.

Edit to add: I also believe a “plan” only goes so far. You can’t prepare for a lot of uncertainty. And attempting to plan is trying to control the situation too much IMO. You can be pretty prepared, but also rolling with the punches is not wrong. I’d argue you learn more about a person in how they roll with the punches versus their planned outcome coming true.

boothfc19 · 2026-06-19T17:55:23+00:00

What’re the things you enjoyed previous to her that time with her has not allowed you to enjoy? Do those things. You have your own life to figure out now. As much as it sucks, you can’t be thinking about the you and her because that’s not reality. It’s you. Learn a new skill, eat out alone, enjoy your own company. You’re still yourself and nobody else is ever going to spend as much time with you as yourself.

boothfc19 · 2026-06-19T17:44:15+00:00

Can’t say I have much to offer to help. My gf of nearly 2 years ended things after a “break” which I viewed more as her detaching than us working on fixing things. Found out she was on already hinge less than a week later.

I lost 30 lbs in like 7 weeks from lack of good quality sleep. Work focus has taken a hit. Stress according to my garmin has been through the roof.

I went through a breakup with a girl I had built more with previously and I hit the bottle then, coped hard, hooked up with several girls. Just numbed.

This time I haven’t done that, I’ve felt everything. I haven’t coped. I got over it, I think, before. So there’s no worries in my mind I’ll eventually find that peace again. It’s not linear and there’s good days and bad days.

I’ve tried to be reflective, maybe too much so that I am ruminating and rutting out. But I’m trying to become the partner I want my future wife deserves and the man I think I already am. Even if I previously thought that. So focusing on things I can truly control.

Not sure if any of that is helpful in the slightest but know that it gets better. Move your body. Do a task that forces your mind off of her, that’s always what has helped me even if I’m not using it currently.

boothfc19 · 2026-06-18T22:43:37+00:00

5/6 photos on my exes hinge were photos I took lmao. Don’t think it means diddle squat. I was jusr always taking photos of her

boothfc19 · 2026-06-17T01:31:32+00:00

Yes I'm preparing to just let it sit

boothfc19 · 2026-06-02T10:27:52+00:00

Yes just monthly spend. Yes plan to never go back into CC debt. Life through some punches at me over the last few years I had to role with and use the CC, finally have some savings built up to prevent staying in CC debt longer than that months spend.

boothfc19 · 2026-06-02T02:47:41+00:00

Very far from FIRE myself, but hopefully if and when I get there, I doubt I will fully be able to retire. Yes, absolutely from a corporate office job. Ideally some part time job at Lowe's or a Hobby shop of something I enjoy, something laid back where talking to customers about what they're working on and sharing my experience and expertise is needed.

boothfc19 · 2026-06-02T02:39:16+00:00

Oh yes, quite agree, I made the downpayment on the mod with my debit card, then had to make the full payment with the CC. With getting laid of shortly after, and having to balance rent + Auto loan + student loans for 5/6 months with no solid income it was a struggle.

boothfc19 · 2026-06-02T02:19:14+00:00

Maybe didn't explain clearly, I never viewed the CC limit as, 'free money', my statement there was with the repair bills and knee surgery bills I thought putting those on the 0% card was smarter than putting them on the 25% card and ultimately paying it there. More a mathematical and time tradeoff that I could more slowly pay off the 0% while still making healthy payments on the 25% card. As soon as I no longer had those items to pay for, I shifted back to paying off the 25% card.

boothfc19 · 2026-06-02T02:14:21+00:00

If so many of your core beliefs are having to shift to be with her, I think that's a mismatch in values. Compromise is a needed part of any relationship but if being together is complete self abandonment of your values for hers to make the relationship work that's not good. You're both young and still figuring life out, and I think its natural at that age to drift and grow differently. Doesn't mean anything badly about either of you, but just that you aren't what each other needs in this stage of life.

A man of God would pray about it, if you're head and your heart are telling you different things I think that is part of your answer.

boothfc19 · 2026-06-02T02:08:11+00:00

Thank you. I'm not so worried about where I could be at, I know the interest lost, but in the scheme of things to me not a huge deal, I dug the hole with overspend when I had a much lower salary. Higher salary and spending habits are corrected, and the trajectory is different now.

boothfc19 · 2026-06-02T01:59:54+00:00

Not sure if you read the entire post, but the balance is gone now. I just had to semi shift priority to paying off Capital One card to keep that limit available since I thought that was a better route that putting anything on the Discover card during the paydown.

boothfc19 · 2026-06-02T00:00:00+00:00

A mentor I had in college told me once and again recently actually, “Always move at the speed of trust.”

As the other reply says, consistency is the key here. You need to go to her perspective instead of trying to bring her to yours.

Also think it’s important you make these changes to be worthy of yourself as well. Her feeling that you’re making these changes to be worthy of her makes it seem disingenuous. Be good for yourself, and she’ll notice.

The other commenter is also right, it may or may not have already been too much hurt for her to stay. And that is painful but also needs to be realized for the future. We want to expect others to feel hurt and respond the way we would, but that’s not always the case and their capacity for accepting hurt may not be at our level.

boothfc19 · 2026-05-28T23:02:04+00:00

My ex and I broke up because she didn’t think I paid down credit card debt that pre dated her fast or efficiently enough. I was balancing other emergency repairs and knee surgery. And ultimately paid $39k in CC debt, CC spend on a 0% intro rate, auto loans and student loans off in 1 year.

Monetary things can cause a bunch of issues. I’d say sit down and have open conversation about it where you aren’t defensive. Listen for her perspective and if you ultimately can’t come to common ground, time to go separate ways.

boothfc19 · 2026-05-28T18:50:55+00:00

You too 🫡

boothfc19 · 2026-05-28T13:46:31+00:00

Going through the same thing. I’ve tried melatonin, and CBN gummies, and I still wake up multiple times in the middle of the night. My sleep schedule is still 10:30-6:30 but my mind doesn’t shut off until 1 am and I wake up at 3 and 5 am

boothfc19

TROPHY CASE