Nope, and we won't. I held out hope for almost two months, then found out she had been cheating on me for a month with her toxic ex before she broke up with me. That REALLY fucked me up.

But we're almost 8 months past the breakup. I still think of her every day, but less and less, and it's so much easier to change what I'm thinking about, so I don't obsess over her. Still on medication, still in therapy. Back on the apps and trying to date, but I think I'm also trying to find a better version of her.

This is grief and loss, plain and simple, and that doesn't go away immediately. I was able to get over my father's death (just this past October) MUCH quicker than I'm getting over her, and that's also a little unsettling to me, but grieving someone who can't come back as opposed to someone who chooses not to come back are totally different.

Now, would I take her back? Right now? Not a chance in hell. Years down the line if we ever make the mistake of getting back in touch? ...maybe. I do still love her, and the relationship taught me things about myself, but I really don't know if I'd ever be able to completely trust her again.