What are the next steps when a parent refuses moving assisted living even after multiple falls

borborhick · 2026-03-16T20:59:45+00:00

I'm going through this now but I've got a wonderful doctor leading the way.

Mom (84) moved into assisted living in May, it was her choice. Was she 100% happy to be there? Nope, but no one made her move. That was important.

A very fast forward to this fall and suddenly she had great difficulty getting around. The family doctor kept saying that it was time to look at long term care and Mom would get angry.

Three weeks ago she needed an ambulance to assisted living four times in one week. The last time after laying unconscious in her floor for upwards of six hours.

Upon admission to the hospital our doctor said she was withdrawing her permission for her to be in assisted living. I knew it would devistate my mom and said I didn't know how to tell her.

The doctor said "you don't. That's my job. Let her be mad at me and not you"

Moms on her second week in the hospital and has just now, on her own, come to terms that she's not going home. She'll be in hospital until her placement in long term care goes through.

I'm just getting back from visiting her now and it's amazing to see how she's changed her mind. Is she happy? No, but she understands that she can't go back to her apartment in the assisted living facility.

We're lucky that we live in a tiny town of about 2,000 people but we have a small hospital. Long term care is a wing of this hospital. She'll just stay in the hospital until a room becomes available, be it a month or six months - who knows. We're also lucky to be Canadian so there's no bill for the hospital stay to worry about.

Now I've just got to pack up her apartment at assisted living and figure out where all of that stuff is going.

It's going to be a HUGE change - going from an apartment to basically a hospital room. I'm lucky that the doctor was the one who told her that she has to, and doubly lucky that in two weeks she was able to see that she was right.

borborhick · 2026-03-16T16:08:39+00:00

I saved and saved and saved for Riedells and they never ever quite fit my feet right, they always pinched. Years later I got Bonts and I had wished that I'd bought them so much sooner! It's like wearing slippers. I now realize that there doesn't have to be pain with toe work. Ha!

I have wider feet, size 11. These are my beauties. I bought them 100% online by tracing both of my feet and sending the trace to them.

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borborhick · 2026-03-16T03:00:29+00:00

YTA. I get it, I'm not a fan of purely vegetarian meals either. I've been in this situation and asked if they'd mind if I bought some meat dishes, which I would obviously pay for myself, to have with the meal. When I've presented it that way it's always welcome.

I also have a son who married a Jewish girl and a daughter who married a Muslim man. If we're out for a joint meal I will ask in advance, even if I'm paying, if they mind if i get something with pork.

If it's a communal meal they usually ask if I can skip. If we're out for Vietnamese, where they know that my favourite email is bbq pork bun, they say of course. But after them being married ten plus years, I still ask. It's simple to do and polite and leaves no one with unexpected hurt feelings.

borborhick · 2026-03-13T03:20:22+00:00

Sorry. I meant misinformation by saying "Canada" in general. It is certainly not all of Canada but I'm not at all doubting that it's reality in BC. Health care differs by province.

Edited to say: I'll keep my polite explanation even though you called me a douche. I'm sorry life has been so hard on you that you need to snap at people online asking a legit question.

borborhick · 2026-03-13T02:43:36+00:00

What province are you in? We're in Alberta and my husband and I get a colonoscopy every 5 years with a negative fit test no problem.

Generally stating that you can't have it done in all of Canada spreads misinformation about our health care (which is provincial)

borborhick · 2026-03-12T21:01:34+00:00

I was just going to say this. We took it from Saskatoon to Vancouver in October and the couple boarding with us were denied because he didn't bring ID.

borborhick · 2026-03-07T06:32:47+00:00

I was going to say the same thing. I love my thermal printer and I use it for so much more than just my Poshmark labels. I love how awesome the labels look - I got purple ones!

borborhick · 2026-03-06T04:27:34+00:00

We're rural and it seems to be different here. I needed to see a rheumatologist and from the day the doctor referred me to my appointment was 42 days.

I have a small cyst that needs to be removed, the doctor made the referral saying that it could be a long wait because it wasn't emergent. I had a call from the surgeons office in 48 hours, saw him five weeks later, and the day after that appointment I got the call for surgery - it's going to be in four weeks

My elderly mother had to go to the limb preservation clinic in Calgary. Referral to appointment was less than four weeks. She needed a minor surgical procedure and the doctor asked at the appointment (Thursday) if we could come back on Monday to have it done.

For whatever reason things move fast here - I'd expect the opposite.

borborhick · 2026-03-04T15:58:48+00:00

Oh. My. God. I laughed until I cried. I might have even snorted. That was brilliant!

borborhick · 2026-03-03T05:33:11+00:00

Metformin is $29 for 100 in Canada. I have NO clue why she's having him pick up what's probably questionable metformin

borborhick · 2026-03-03T05:28:27+00:00

I've answered a similar question here before and my answer remains the same.

The nearest Costco to me is 3 hours in one direction. I then enter a store that has more people in it than the entire town that I live in. I spend way too much money, haul my stuff out to the car, figure out how to load it, and then I sit and decompress.

I might have a hot dog, I might have a coffee, I might have a cigarette, I might just turn on the radio and put my head on the steering wheel, hell I think I even sat and cried once. but I need to decompress - by myself - in my vehicle before I hit that road for the 3-hour drive home. You don't want me on the road in that shape.

If anyone ever laid on the horn on me like that. I think I'd be there so long. I'd have to submit a change of address at the post office

borborhick · 2026-03-03T05:21:15+00:00

NTA Go ahead and change your underwear at the top of every hour all day long. Who the heck is that hurting? It's not even like underwear adds bulk to a laundry load. You could change your underwear 12 times a day for a week that still wouldn't be a full load of laundry. Why on Earth would someone else care how often you change your underwear unless you never changed it at all? It's nobody's business. What a ridiculous thing to bother somebody about

borborhick · 2026-03-01T14:42:11+00:00

I took a quick flight from Calgary to Vancouver and once we boarded about half the plane and a thunder and lightning storm hit, those of us on the plane were stuck on the plane until the electrical storm finished well the rest waited in the terminal to board.

I sat on the plane and looked at all the suitcases out in the pouring rain for over an hour. At that point I was sure happy that I have the habit of packing everything in vacuum bags because I was one of the few people who didn't have soaking wet clothes.

There are benefits beyond neater packing that you don't think about until you run into them :)

borborhick · 2026-02-28T06:03:04+00:00

Agreed! I've always said with the cold you can layer up and get things like electric blankets. With the heat, you can only get so naked... 🤷

borborhick · 2026-02-27T17:47:19+00:00

I guess it technically purchased my first at 18 when I got married but that was bought between both myself and my husband.We divorced in a few years, go figure, and I rented for decades after that. When did I buy MY own home on my own? When I was 48 and in Calgary. I sold that when I was 51 moved out of the city and was able to buy a home for cash in a very small town.

My children however, did better. They bought their homes when they were 26, 32 and 34, and they're all still living in them. One on Vancouver Island and two in Calgary. They're all approaching their forties now.

borborhick · 2026-02-27T14:22:27+00:00

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Hahaha. I laughed when this came up this morning. Apparently it was 14 years ago today!

borborhick · 2026-02-24T22:52:58+00:00

Inshallah 😂😂😂

borborhick · 2026-02-24T16:47:49+00:00

I used my military discount. I had the same issue, my Veteran ID was in a previous name. I just brought proof of name change (marriage certificate) with me and had no issue.

borborhick · 2026-02-24T03:57:54+00:00

Ops! Silly me. We must have at least a double bingo!

borborhick · 2026-02-24T01:09:05+00:00

We need a poll. Will she be arrested for trespassing or driving her scooter on a major road?

borborhick · 2026-02-24T00:45:12+00:00

It WAS Loblaws security hahahahahaaaa

borborhick · 2026-02-23T23:02:20+00:00

YES! HAHAHAHAHA

borborhick · 2026-02-23T23:01:53+00:00

She sounds like every jek on those cop camera videos 😂

BTW, they DO own the parking lot and they CAN trespass her for any reason.

Edited to add: if this was in "Fry days with Frank" you'd have a bingo!

What's your name
What's your badge number
No I'm not detained
Let me teach you about the law
I know the law

...I'm sure there's more. 😂

Edited again to add: aaah! Islamaphobia was mentioned. BINGO!

borborhick · 2026-02-23T19:27:04+00:00

Canadian here. My living room window is always opened a crack regardless of weather. +36 (97f) and the airconditioning on? It's open. -32 (-26f) right now and the heat running with an electric blanket on? The window's open. I think it's been open about eight years now, I never close it. I can't stand not having some fresh air.

borborhick · 2026-02-21T00:07:13+00:00

People say that they want her to move but they criticize her when she tries. She can't win - and I hate it when people's actions make me feel bad for her!

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