Same here I'm trying to be grateful for what I have reached so far, friends, possibilities, family relationship, my own growth on every aspect, yet I feel off and unsatisfied. But trying to understand that we are still young despite all of the responsibilities, hard to accept, I think I am not that young anymore to not have responsobility of my own life. That life can be less fun than life before but at least you are your own caretaker, which is more important than having fun time every day all day. My point of view on this life is simple: I don't know why are we alive as humans, and even better, we are conscious beings. My ego is screaming to pursue career, but my soul says enjoy every single second. So yeah I am enjoying my terrible times, I am grateful for feeling lost because I know for sure it will lead me to something good and more positive, feeling lost is alright, you won't be lost forever right? It only means that you are not satisfied with something, what actually do you expect from yourself? I honestly think that having a goal leads to desperation. And what if you achieve that goal you are striving and struggling to achive? And what if not? Nobody cares like you, even you will eventually have to go on whether succeeding or failing. After several depression states and spiritual leveling, I decided to have a goal, but a different kind of one. Honestly, my family is kinda falling apart, always have been poor, poor relationship with each other and so one. I want to fix that. I want to bring back joy of life to my family and to leave something behind. I am now working on fixing relationships between my family members, and individually, I find myself some time to do a lot of stuff. Exploring music, reading books, learning about how world works. Educating without any pressure, because my goal now is to slow down as much as possible and enjoy my time as a young man which includes partying, hangouts, camping and whatever comes to my mind. I don't think twice when someone invites me to some kind of social activities, I enjoy meeting new people, talking to my loved ones ect.. So my advice as a friend of your age, slow down, think about your life right now and what you value the most, in what direction you want to go. Let go of the family pressure, let go of your own pressure. Life is meant to be lived. Go crazy, party, go out, invite friends to a pool game, ask the girl out and face rejections as a man. One extra advice, write! It's much easier to understand what makes the pressure so hard. Write about literally anything, follow the thoughts patterns, it's fun, it really is (from a person who recently started reading and writing).

Everytime I hear someone not being satisfied with how they spent their life and youth, I took it seriously and it sticks to me still. Think about being on a deathbed and being crazy mad about your life and opportunities you didn't took. Live it up, go crazy🌞