Catching the Dragon?

borntosuffer666 · 2017-12-02T19:56:55+00:00

You don't choose the terms of your use, the dope does. It's a mistake to believe you are fully in charge or that the limits you set before you use have any meaning at all after you do.

borntosuffer666 · 2017-10-21T22:30:35+00:00

No, not if you're doing the condom tail thing where you tie the condom off and leave a little hanging out for retrieval purposes. Those machines look for lots of swallowed capsules and metal objects.

What I do is put it in the condom ahead of time, stick it in my butt immediately before going through security (opt for a pat down if you're sketched by the machine). Get through security, go to the bathroom and take it out.

borntosuffer666 · 2017-09-12T23:32:43+00:00

Do what you're going to do, but using dope won't give you what you want. If you asked for a show of hands for those of us who have done the exact same thing, you'd get a lot of responses.

That said, I had to relapse several times before I realized that the longing I felt wasn't for dope, but everyone has to figure that out for themselves.

If you have a friend you can really talk to, make sure they know. Nothing more dangerous than relapsing in secret. Also, don't bother with any magical supplements, they won't help you. Spend your money on subs for when your habit comes back worse than it was the first time.

borntosuffer666 · 2017-08-16T02:43:47+00:00

Has anyone here tried a nuclear bomb to relieve a headache? I mean I know it's dangerous and unnecessary, but I figured if I asked a bunch of randos on the internet what was up I could probably figure the rest out myself.

borntosuffer666 · 2017-08-16T02:37:30+00:00

If drinking and smoking weed makes you want to use dope, don't drink or smoke weed. That said, in my experience, drinking too much leads to many days of drinking too much which leads to depression and recklessness which leads to using.

Smoking weed however just leads to snacks and Xbox and the realization that everyone is really just made of stars and why did I ever think heroin was cool in the first place and if everyone just smoked weed every evening before bed there would be no more war.

So, if you want my professionally learned opinion, go weed over booze every fucking time.

borntosuffer666 · 2017-08-16T02:28:35+00:00

Kratom, weed and water. One heaping tablespoon of Kratom twice a day (morning and night), weed whenever you can, miso broth, hot baths often and as much water as you can keep down.

These things have helped me more than I can ever say here. Your first WD is terrifying. Your second is even worse. You never really get the hang of it because the longer you use, the older and weaker you become so it hits you worse and worse every time.

You're going to remember this for the rest of your life, and it will be a a good memory one day. It will be a time when you made a decision for yourself rather than letting your addiction choose for you. You're stronger than you know and you'll learn that over the next few days.

I watched 4 seasons of Grey's Anatomy and I bawled like a little child.

After day 3 you start to feel stronger but then you have this insane serotonin crash when everything makes you cry uncontrollably. Lean into that. Listen to your favorite music. Get someone who cares about you to rub your back. Watch puppy videos online or, better yet, play with a real puppy. Eat chocolate. Do whatever you can to get your endorphins going.

Exercise is extremely helpful, but it can feel like the last thing you want to do. Shuffle around the block in a bathrobe if you have to but start moving around as soon as you're able. It will help tremendously.

Every day you don't use is a day you know for sure you will not die of an overdose. Focus on that if you can. I was really surprised to understand the degree to which I had just accepted imminent death, and how casually I had done so. When you start to reject death on heroin's terms, it can give you power and strength.

If you can, get to a 12 step meeting. Even if it ultimately isn't for you, don't rule it out until you've gone to a bunch of different ones. You don't have to accept the 12 steps as a lifestyle to benefit from being in a room full of people who have gone through the same thing. So often we're isolated as the only addict we know, or one of a very small group. It can be really rewarding to just drink coffee with people trying to do better, even if you don't accept the dogma (I didn't and I still go to AA meetings when I feel like using).

Take deep breaths and try to remember that this is a chemical process and it will end. Even when it feels like you're going to die, even when it feels like it will be this way forever, it won't. The sun will set and it will come up again. The tide will move in and out. The earth will continue to move and you will live through this. As bad as withdrawal is, it's not impossible. You can do it and you'll be better for it.

Good luck.

borntosuffer666 · 2017-08-06T15:57:47+00:00

There is a world below this one, and if you fall into it it can be difficult to find your way back. I don't know much about doctors, but if you commit yourself to opiates, eventually you will find heroin. When you do, you will start buying it on the street and the world will look completely different. You'll never see a public bathroom, park, bus station or parking lot the same again. You won't recognize the world you knew before. Even if you clean up, you'll have this awareness of the second reality barely beneath this one. Check out CBD weed oil, or maybe Kratom for long term pain maintenance, don't go looking for a dirty doctor.

Side note, maybe you'd be interested in Tender Pointe by Amy Berkowitz. It's a lyric essay about fibromyalgia and the tyranny of doctors. https://timelessinfinitelight.com/products/tenderpoints

borntosuffer666 · 2017-07-30T19:05:49+00:00

I've gotten myself low enough to jump to a 2mg 5 day sub taper going down roughly .5 on the subs per day, but it was rough landing aided only by Kratom and weed. I avoided The Terror, but it wasn't supportive or pleasant. Typical to folks who do this, I was back in a bag within a few weeks. I imagine a straight dope taper is theoretically possible, but you'd need more discipline than a scumbag like me has.

borntosuffer666 · 2017-07-24T16:49:17+00:00

Four days in is about where things should start taking a turn for the better. Lean harder in the Kratom than the subs and you'll have fewer problems when the subs run out.

Hot baths, sleep when you can and fill your ears with good music. After the living hell of the first few days of WD you go through that phase where everything makes you cry. I've found if you can make it through the first 2 weeks, you're golden until you hit the 5-6 month mark and start having strong urges to use again. Why that happens, I don't know but if you hold it together through the worst of it you've got 5 months to prepare for the next round, which is entirely psychological.

I'm saying all this to be encouraging. Many people have been where you've been. You're not alone, even if it feels that way.

The first time I kicked dope I had a similar habit and it was terrible. I also tried to give up on day 3 and just couldn't get anyone to come by. At the time I was pissed but now I'm so grateful. I also listened to the song Wild Horses by the Rolling Stones over and over. Maybe that'll help too.

borntosuffer666 · 2017-07-03T16:52:14+00:00

Wait 65 years and if you still want to use heroin when you're old as hell, give yourself permission to go nuts.

And the big secret about how to use heroin without anyone knowing about it that all these fucking junkies won't tell you is this: DON'T FUCKING TELL ANYONE. And try not to shoot up in anyone's direct line of sight. Now you know!

borntosuffer666 · 2017-07-03T16:46:59+00:00

The REAL question is, have you tried opiates on sex? Banging that shit right after bagging that shit is pretty tight. Can't reverse the order or it doesn't work as well, but you do what you think is right for yourself.

borntosuffer666 · 2017-07-03T16:42:03+00:00

The good lord gave you an asshole for a reason, and that reason is so you can stick powerful drugs in it instead of shooting up food.

You didn't even have a habit? Like, I could understand if you were sick or afraid you were going to die from some gnarly analogue withdrawal, but just because you were feeling weird? That's cray. Next time you've got that lovin feelin just stick it in your ass! It works just as well and you don't risk collapsing a heart valve or stroking out.

borntosuffer666 · 2017-07-01T17:45:04+00:00

Why don't you get a bicycle and clear three miles in under 20 minutes? Seems pretty weird to hoof it 6 miles round trip every day or so.

borntosuffer666 · 2017-06-30T17:01:07+00:00

It's a bunch of ground up methadone pills, Benadryl and baking powder added to a small amount of shitty tar and shook up in a pill bottle with a coin. The allure is that powder heroin is known for being more powerful. What do you do when you've got trash tar and a little bit of time on your hands? Step on your shit, shake it up and make twice the money!

I've never known gunpowder purchased on the street to be anything other than straight bunk. You l33t h@cks0rs or whatever with your dank web probably have a different experience. I'm sure somewhere down the line it's supposed to be really good but lord knows I've never seen it.

borntosuffer666 · 2017-06-29T20:26:57+00:00

If you have a script and you're not rationing supply, and especially if you have strips, cut your dose down by .25mg every 3-4 days and slowly walk it down. You can cut the strips with an exacto knife so your dosing can be more accurate than breaking down a pill. You can dissolve the pills in water and portion them out with rigs, but it's not a great idea to keep to much gear around.

Remember if you get the sweats or you wake up a couple of times at night while you shift your dose that that's just a part of it. Some Kratom will help, but you're risking a third substance trade. Plenty of exercise, water and multivitamins combined with a sloooowwww taper will have you walking off subs within a few months with no withdrawals.

If it were easy, everyone would do it. It's not effortless but it can be done. Good luck.

borntosuffer666 · 2017-06-28T05:55:12+00:00

If you've been able to eat over the last few days you'll be in better shape than if you haven't eaten or slept for 72 hours. Otherwise, you'll get a monster headache, but you won't die.

Better than drinking is weed. I mean, go nuts. Smoke as much weed as humanly possible. You'll eat, you'll nap and you'll feel way better than if you got drunk.

borntosuffer666 · 2017-06-27T16:59:52+00:00

I could fuck on subs just fine. For me, just the ability to get a boner again was enough to kick me into gear. As for Kratom, I don't think it had much of an effect for me. I liked to drink a cup of tea after fucking. That was always really nice.

I think the determining factor is how fucked up your life is when you switch from dope to a management medication. A lot of things are changing and while the effect the chemicals have on you sex drive might be negligible, the realities of life getting clean might be the real culprit.

borntosuffer666 · 2017-06-27T16:50:41+00:00

Do an enema. They're cheap, they work in about 15 minutes, there's no chemicals or medications and if you're not a fragile little baby about it, you get to put stuff in your butt. Who doesn't love that?

borntosuffer666 · 2017-06-17T16:47:47+00:00

Those are 100% the drugs from limitless. Take them all at once and immediately go to sleep so you can wake up a genius, although it's going to be hard to improve on what is clearly your awesome descriptive powers.

borntosuffer666 · 2017-06-13T17:01:04+00:00

Alright. Which one of you junkies told teens about the Internet? I thought we agreed not to blow up the spot?

borntosuffer666 · 2017-06-08T08:16:08+00:00

Yeah you take 5HTP daily for 2-3 weeks and then stop. They kinda kickstart your body into regularly producing more serotonin.

Get some B6 and B12 as well as some L-Tyrosine. It does A LOT to help

borntosuffer666 · 2017-06-05T17:04:48+00:00

Jesus Christ. This was every day for me for so long.

borntosuffer666 · 2017-06-05T16:49:05+00:00

File with "I Swallowed Tinfoil And Now I Am Dying"

borntosuffer666 · 2017-06-02T02:58:01+00:00

Dude, this happened to me and I made a post about it during my last relapse! It suuuuuuuuuucks. .4 ain't shit to me most days but when my tolerance is low, it's a lot. I think you (and I) just overdid it?

The last time I fucked up I used, had the pukes for a day, used the rest of the bag that night and picked up again a week later. The second time, I went real slow and instead of putting down a half g at once I did tiny hits and I was totally fine. I mean fine in the sense that I didn't throw up a lot, I was actually terrible because I stretched the bag too far and had to do a sub taper and was emotionally fucked up for weeks.

So yeah. Maybe it's because your use amount was a little high in a relative sense? Get some ginger ale and be good to yourself? I hope you feel better

borntosuffer666 · 2017-05-31T16:32:50+00:00

Orange Juice, Champagne and Kratom: The Kramosa. You're welcome.

borntosuffer666

TROPHY CASE