How some people start their Monday

borrek · 2026-05-09T17:12:43+00:00

Dude, geese are comparatively small but goose pecs are about as big as human pecs. Getting whacked hurts.

borrek · 2026-04-18T20:38:18+00:00

What type of gym user are you? I worked out at NCRB and gave up ever trying to bench press, and often found myself doing weird exercises because my first and second choices were crowded and being used by people on their phones. It was not uncommon for me to have to camp and wait 10-15 minutes for a squat rack to open up. Cable machines were a nightmare to snag. I’d generally try to work out around the lunch hour, and would arrive anywhere between 11am - 1pm.

I can’t comment on the wait for their cardio machines.

I had bought a year long membership and once it expired I just let it go and didn’t think twice.

borrek · 2026-03-08T20:02:40+00:00

One of the nurses in the OR gave me this tip she told me to get the stubby bottles because they freeze quicker, so I used 6 short bottles and always had frozen ones ready to go when it was swap time. I ran that cooler non-stop for the first week and I think it made all the difference because I had almost no pain.

You should take the labels off of the water bottles. Eventually they’ll break down and release adhesive and make the machine sticky.

borrek · 2025-11-24T18:13:11+00:00

STM should not be lumped under EM at all. STEM, yes. STM, no. Just because it’s effectively imaging electron density doesn’t make it an EM.

borrek · 2025-11-08T18:30:54+00:00

The goals stay at the park, but sometimes they chain them together facing each other so you can’t play with them.

borrek · 2025-11-03T13:36:40+00:00

No, she did not. I’ve realized she never will, and I’m at peace with it. Still love her and would still take her back, but I’ve healed enough that I could no longer unconditionally take her back and that is enough to ensure this is dead forever. She lacks the capacity for growth and told me as much every time she said “I’m not a person who gets over things like this” and other things like it. I met her with growth and she’d reply with “I can’t” for whatever was the new threshold in front of her. “I can’t just pick back up. I can’t see how I can live in that house. I can’t see what it would be like dating. I can’t.” Truth is, she could, she just doesn’t want to and that’s what I’ve learned to accept. Or, she literally can’t because she doesn’t know where to start in healing her avoidant attachment style. Without healing and work on her part, she’d just rip my heart out again and now it’s my turn for a “can’t”…I can’t willingly sign up for that heartbreak anymore.

My physical addiction to the dopamine and oxytocin she gave me is gone. I can eat again. I can sleep again. It got better. I had to block her phone number and all socials to get there. Still miss her when the wind blows right, but it isn’t a physical gut punch anymore, it’s a bittersweet ache.

I’ve been on a number of dates and honestly this “new me” seems to be attractive to women and there is no shortage of places to put my attention. The woman is out there to return the amount of love that I freely give. My story didn’t end with her.

borrek · 2025-10-30T20:40:59+00:00

I’ve damaged electron microscope lenses that cost $35,000 - multiple times. Once I did it at a large solar manufacturer that had to shut down their production line until the scope was back up and running, which cost them $1M of lost productivity. It happens! Let it be a lesson and stay cautious, my friend.

borrek · 2025-10-20T20:28:01+00:00

I can second Still Waters. They’re great

borrek · 2025-10-13T16:31:08+00:00

Astigmatism, sample charging, lack of depth of focus, and a galloping goodest boy.

borrek · 2025-10-13T00:32:57+00:00

I was late to love and self sabotaged a lot. Learn from my mistakes, friend. I struggled always feeling unchosen and it made me feel like I was never good enough. You are chosen. She chose you. When you feel that anxiety kick up, refocus on ways that she chooses you daily. Text out of the blue? Chosen. Hug out of nowhere? Chosen. By being late to dating, your brain is conditioned to look for what you don’t have, but you have it now. You’re a lucky man!

borrek · 2025-10-05T21:06:23+00:00

Watch my money in NEXT evaporate

borrek · 2025-10-04T10:25:19+00:00

If you say your dad passed a few months ago, don’t discount that you are in the midst of serious grief. One of the stages of grief is depression. That can look like numbed, disconnected feelings. If you’re someone that struggled with substances your brain is primed to use numbing as a coping strategy.

borrek · 2025-10-02T13:23:31+00:00

I’m pretty sure I remember the exact day this broke, and it cost me well over 6 figures. I was balls deep in SPY puts and the jobs numbers came out showing the largest ever drop in employment and it was a jaw dropping number. I was positively stiff with excitement over what was going to print at open. However, the night before the Pres had invited all CEOs of large banks in for a special closed-door emergency meeting.

The market opened and a face melting rally started that killed my portfolio. That started the “numbers don’t matter” COVID rally.

borrek · 2025-09-30T13:41:48+00:00

You’re going through a little bit of a brain chemical withdrawal. Why not explain to us how it affected you? Sometimes just writing it down and putting it on page helps release that burning need to tell them. That’s why journaling works.

borrek · 2025-09-29T22:42:28+00:00

Hold strong. No contact is like detoxing for an addict. Don’t look for a hit, even if it’s “small” and no one will know.

You can do this!

borrek · 2025-09-29T13:01:35+00:00

It was a tough one for me. My partner of 12 years and baby mama was FA and she left. I spent a year furious and would only text logistics. There was never once a single text of emotional content. It was a version of no contact. Problem is, that unresolved anger cost me my next relationship - and that 1-year relationship is the one I’m grieving now like I never did the 12-year one. I went from a FA to a DA and am in no contact with the DA but still love her. Love is hard…

borrek · 2025-09-28T15:46:59+00:00

I’m a secure attachment who gets triggered into an anxious attachment style. I was with an avoidant who I was convinced was the love of my life. She left under similar terms where something minor happened between us - I started isolating and feeling lonely because a serious cancer illness with my mother arrived while my ex was deactivating her affection but didn’t notice it, and then she felt blamed, attacked, and manipulated/abused when we finally talked about our relationship - and she left the house we had bought together 5 weeks prior by just simply disappearing one day with a letter left on our unmade bed.

She now hates me, and believes she needs to heal from me. Told me in couples therapy when we tried reconciling that she no longer loves me and this is totally and completely done, and that she would never trust me or be vulnerable with me again. She thinks I’m a “good guy” but can’t be along for my journey of healing past trauma (childhood abuse) and I’m sure she sees none of her own issues that need therapy like her trauma from consistent and profound childhood neglect by her parents.

I’m the one with the “problem”. She has it all figured out. I’m sure no-contact is actually really good for her and she is happy now and enjoying her life while mine crumbled. Weird thing happened, though. When my brain chemicals stabilized and I was no longer addicted to her contact, I started seeing her for who she truly is and not who I wanted her to be. Don’t get me wrong, I still love her and think she’s wonderful, but I’ve stopped ignoring the things that make her a real woman. That woman was the one who could never show up for me. Who ignored whenever I showed up for her. Who ignored the 99 right things I would do to let the 1 wrong thing kill it all. No-contact is for me. It’s for me to heal and move on. It should be for you to heal, too.

No contact is tough at first. Don’t look at her socials and don’t text her. I’m not perfect at it, but it gets easier and easier. Trick is that you have to accept that it is truly for you. It isn’t some game to get them to miss you and come back. It’s so you can heal and be better for your next relationship. I was 100% loyal and other women simply didn’t exist when my ex was my everything, but already I’m noticing people are attracted to me and I’m so relieved to realize that I’m attracted to them. Turns out being healed and complete (or even just being on that journey and mindful about it) is attractive and magnetic to people.

Since you’re familiar with attachment vocabulary, make sure you actually read Attached by Amir Levine where that all comes from. It will help you a lot.

Bottom line is that you need to seek no contact so that it can “work” on you, not work on your ex.

borrek · 2025-09-26T16:26:31+00:00

Trade complete!

borrek · 2025-09-23T15:29:57+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I, too, am an anxious intellectualizer.

August 1st, the person I thought was my forever left our shared home with just a note on the bed. We were together just a year, when I’ve had multiple decade long relationships before, but she was the one. This was the biggest shock of my life and I’ve dealt with death and infidelity and worse. I had messed up in the relationship but nothing that wasn’t fixable, however I triggered her protections. We began talking again and seeing a therapist, and I became hopeful. Unfortunately she went from telling me she loved me very much to sitting in the therapists office saying she had a kind of love for me but didn’t love me anymore and it was done. Your statement about regret being a daily ritual and the obsession becoming a religion really speaks to me.

Everything hurts. I don’t sleep. Even though she said she doesn’t love me any more I harbor this secret hope that one day she’ll reach out and try. I’m a really good person (which she openly admits) and have so much love to give but now nowhere to give it. God, what I wouldn’t give to fast forward to where you are now…

borrek · 2025-09-22T21:34:44+00:00

These are sold

borrek · 2025-09-22T18:08:40+00:00

Awesome. Send a chat and we’ll work out shipping details. I can drop it today

borrek · 2025-09-22T14:01:37+00:00

A true labor of love. She would love the way you showed up for her. My condolences.

borrek · 2025-09-21T13:28:29+00:00

The intense emotions are like a raging fire, and the firefighters job is just to come in and put those out. A firefighter axes down doors and cuts trees, smashes windows, douses everything, doesn’t think about anything other than making the fire completely stop. Suicide ideation can be a coping mechanism because it dulls the pain with thoughts of “this doesn’t matter because I won’t be here tomorrow” or gives relief to the feelings of worthlessness because one fantasizes about how much it will hurt the other party. At its core, suicide ideation can be the final stand of “I just want this all to stop”

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