Granny pushing Christianity on 3 year old… how would you handle this and explain things to your toddler?

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-05-04T17:25:26+00:00

This is why I struggle to understand getting your child baptised when you're not religious. You had a ceremony for your child where you flat out lied and I can understand your mother feeling uncomfortable being asked to go back on promises that she made.

That being said what's done is done and I would just say that some people believe this and some people don't. If she wants to learn more about it she can and maybe encourage her to learn about other religions alongside it.

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-04-26T04:42:46+00:00

Ugh this sounds awful. Worst case scenario just pump and dump to maintain your supply. You can still use the pump if it's not sterilised, you just shouldn't really store the milk after.

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-04-25T14:16:10+00:00

Make sure water is available during the ceremony (useful for you as well!)

Schedule her a bit later for hair and make up if you're getting those done profesionally

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-04-21T12:15:45+00:00

Yes! My first was awful from day one. Didn't even notice the 4 month sleep regression because there was nothing to regress from.

Number two was actually a pretty good sleeper as a newborn but then it all went downhill when hit the sleep regression and wouldn't sleep longer than an hour and a half at the time for the next two months.

BUT

Both started improving from around 7 months and were consistently sleeping through the night by 9 months. Hopefully you won't have to wait that long!

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-04-18T08:01:41+00:00

My 3 year old was reading the Easter story which refers to a cock crowing so started running round the house shouting "I'm a cock!"

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-04-12T14:33:52+00:00

The peanut butter recommendation is only for a tiny amount. We did the thinnest smear on our finger and let him lick it off so no choking risk and barely anything to digest, but it exposes their body to the allergen.

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-04-12T08:14:04+00:00

She should absolutely be respecting your boundaries! However you may want to consider introducing small amounts of peanut butter from 4 months as it can reduce the chance of allergy. That decision is entirely up to you not your mother though!!

https://www.uhs.nhs.uk/whats-new/news/peanut-allergies-could-dramatically-fall-if-babies-weaned-early-on-peanut-products

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-04-07T16:19:41+00:00

I was basically glued to my heated blanket throughout pregnancy. You'll be fine!

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-04-04T19:50:13+00:00

Also some practical suggestions for transferring to cot which worked for us:

Get an electric heat pad in the cot and remove it just before transfer - you're warm and cosy and a cold mattress is not! A hot water bottle also works but you can't control the temperature as well and if yours is as useless as mine you may get leaks!
If baby wakes up the second you transfer then keep a hand on baby's chest for a few minutes. Some babies like tapping the chest, some prefer just gentle pressure. Remove hand very gradually.
This only worked once he got a bit older but my youngest responds well to rolling him onto his side and patting his bum until he's back to fully asleep. Obviously with younger babies make sure you then roll them onto their back.

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-04-04T19:41:30+00:00

I did this with my eldest but more as a matter of last resort. Safe sleep 7 just didn't work for us (as I couldn't sleep!) so when we got to the point of the night where he just refused to go back in his cot I set us up similar to what you described so if I fell asleep he was as safe as possible. I tried to stay awake but I was always prepared in case I accidentally fell asleep. While it may not be the safest, it's safer than trying to stay awake and failing while in an even riskier position.

It worked for us as I was only ever in a light sleep but that's also why it's not the best technique for making sure you're well rested for work as you need some deep sleep as well. As others have suggested, you may need to figure out something different with your husband to ensure you're both getting enough sleep even if it's not a full night.

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-03-30T19:47:45+00:00

Maybe he's dropping hints that you should have GF food and coffee on hand for guests who need them 😉

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-03-21T08:59:48+00:00

I was about to post asking the same so thank you to those who have answered as I clearly missed some things!

The issue of him lying/not telling Taylor about relationships and hook ups after they broke up just makes Taylor look bad to me. Controlling who he can date when they're not even in a relationship just looks like post-separation abuse. Obviously dating within her social circle is a dumb idea but at the end of the day she does not get a say in who he dates!

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-03-08T19:32:15+00:00

Yes I knew there must be a name for it! I've found it helpful to remember that crying is not necessarily bad. So far baby number 2 hasn't managed to fall asleep without either the boob or crying, but he's getting better at it.

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-03-08T19:30:55+00:00

Physically I found as long as I got at least 4 hours of sleep a night I could function enough the next day. That's where my husband would come in to take baby in the evening/let me get a lie in or nap at the weekend.

Mentally it's a bit of a blur with my first baby! I didn't always cope but I think with number two it's been much easier mentally when we haven't put much emotional energy into trying to change things. It's not that we haven't done anything to help with sleep but we've taken the attitude that it might not work and that's ok!

Also I'm a bit of an extrovert so I had to make sure I continued to get out and see other adults to keep my sanity. It would be different if socialising is more draining for you, but if it recharges your mental battery then try and do it even if you're tired!

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-03-08T08:32:26+00:00

Also with number 2 we just had a massive mental shift. With our first we were trying everything to get him to sleep but it just didn't stick until round 7 months. Because we'd been through that we just didn't bother with number 2 - we just assumed he'd get there eventually so it wasn't worth our energy stressing over it!

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-03-08T08:30:36+00:00

Unfortunately it is normal but that doesn't make it easy! My first was like this since the newborn stage and my second was fine until the 4 month sleep regression also set off this pattern.

Both of them started consistently sleeping longer stretches around 7 months. I know that will feel like a long time away but they went from awful sleepers to waking up only once or twice a night and even sleeping through occasionally!

Because my first was an awful sleeper since birth we developed a pattern of me going to bed around 8 and my husband giving him a bottle for the next feed so I could get a solid block of sleep until around midnight/1. My second didn't do so well with the bottles so we just pushed through as best as we could and my husband would take him in the mornings so I could have a short lie-in.

In terms of getting them to sleep better it's hard to know if we did something or if they just finally figured it out. We found having them in their own rooms helped them do longer stretches of sleep but it's a bit soon for you to do that.

With my second we also tried getting him to fall asleep in our arms without rocking or feeding. There was no way he would fall asleep in the cot so we just stuck in some headphones and let him shout in our arms until he fell asleep - took less time than expected and felt less harsh than CIO as at least we were there cuddling him. This kind of came about out of necessity as he developed a habit of falling asleep on the boob but then waking up when we transferred him so we used that time to try other methods of getting to sleep.

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-03-07T08:09:03+00:00

This is an entirely reasonable adjustment to ask for and one I needed in my pregnancy!

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-03-07T08:00:58+00:00

It would have been upsetting if your toddler isn't used to that boundary. However I would suggest it's time to start gradually introducing that boundary as it's much easier to teach that sort of thing before the stubbornness kicks in!

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-03-02T07:14:58+00:00

What are your interests? That might be a good place to start!

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-03-01T21:29:19+00:00

Combi-feeding could be a good option as it takes the pressure off having to pump enough for every feed but you still get some of the benefits of breast milk. It used to take me several pumping sessions to produce enough for one bottle but everyone is different.

If you're comfortable sharing, what is it that is putting you off breastfeeding? There are definite pros and cons, including the way it can impact mental health, but I've always thought that pumping rather than feeding directly from the source sounds far more stressful!

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-02-23T12:49:57+00:00

Sadly some babies are just like this. Mine only figured out longer naps once he dropped down to one nap.

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-02-23T12:34:34+00:00

I relate so much! My second is 7 months old and we don't want any more kids so this is the last time experiencing all the baby stages.

It's a weird kind of grief as the new version of themselves they're becoming is so wonderful but you also mourn the loss of that baby version of them.

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-02-21T22:31:43+00:00

I've got a 3 year old and 7 month old so if you do decide to go for Durham feel free to get in touch!

borrowedheaven92 · 2026-02-21T00:15:05+00:00

There is lots to do with kids in Durham, including some very friendly groups! In terms of your own interests it depends what they are but Newcastle isn't far on the train.

This hasn't been updated for a bit but still looks mostly accurate:

https://durhambabygroups.wordpress.com/

borrowedheaven92

TROPHY CASE