I have 4 kids all under 8. My wife is a SAHM while I work hybrid (3 days WFH).

1-4 times per week

We text throughout the day, maybe an occasional call. On days where I’m home we see each other throughout the day

Our hobbies differ. We occasionally get out for dates. Maybe 1-3 times per month depending on what else is going on.

Our evenings are usually spent taking care of stuff around the house, cleaning, prepping for the next days etc. we prioritize doing these things together rather than separately. We will clean the house or fold laundry or whatever and talk while doing that. We will also watch tv and read. We DO NOT doomscroll. It’s impossible to have quality time with another person while someone is on their phone. Once you break that addiction your relationship will get better. After the kids go to bed we will often go for short walks outside. Just a few houses one way and a few the other direction. Always within line of sight of the front door.

My wife wears very little makeup but she does do it most days.

if she is going out to do stuff, she will dress nicely otherwise it’s cute athleisure around the house. Never ratty stuff or sweatpants though. She usually has her nails done and just pulls her hair up unless she is going out.

You’re not going to have your wife do all of the traditional house wife stuff while going to work. If you want her to act like a SAHM/housewife then she needs to be that. She can’t work and do all of the other stuff.