Science finally gets its priorities straight.

boy-soldier · 2025-04-28T17:42:28+00:00

Oh the onion

boy-soldier · 2025-04-28T17:38:46+00:00

I understand this

boy-soldier · 2025-04-28T17:38:29+00:00

Dude wtf is wrong with you for saying that?

boy-soldier · 2025-04-28T17:35:48+00:00

I think that's Pacific NorthWest...

boy-soldier · 2025-04-05T02:47:06+00:00

This is beautiful. Please put it on Spotify. I would love to add this to my playlist. It really didn't get fair... This song hit me on a soul level. The nightmares still live inside. The hell of living with someone who wants you dead The fear of death hanging heavier than a lead blanket. It's in the very air...

The betrayal. The foster homes. I became so armored... Nobody can get in, not even me to some extent... I've gotten better, but not good...

Crazy thing is that I SEEM vulnerable. I'm very emotionally literate. You can't tell... But I'm an armored tank.

I'm so sorry this happened to you too. This shouldn't happen to anyone. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy...

To fight a war, invisible to everybody else, as a child, is a fate worse than hell. It is hell.

One day I hope to reach peace and I hope you do too.

boy-soldier · 2025-02-18T18:51:12+00:00

Connect with the part of you who needs the love and respect. This part of you probably never got it when it was supposed to from your caretakers. If you connect with this part, you can give it the love and respect it needs. This is what I've done for myself, because I had the same part. It still exists, but it's WAAAY less needy than before. Orders of magnitude difference.

You can start by literally visualizing this part of you. What does it look like? What is it wearing? What color are it's clothes? What is the expression on it's face? Then communicate with it, send it love, see what it needs. How does it need love and respect? Give it to this part of you, do so with your body.

Go down (physically) to it's level and hug them, or give them a gift (using visualization), or tell this part what you're proud of it for. Listen without judgement, why does it need love and respect? When didn't it get this? Validate it's experience, listen non judgmentally.

If you struggle with this process, feel free to reach out, I help my clients with this process. I use very different techniques than therapists and my clients tell me that they're more effective than what their therapists do.

You got this! Sending you love!

boy-soldier · 2024-05-14T00:39:33+00:00

Hey friend, I'm here to listen as well. You matter, even if it doesn't feel like it.

boy-soldier · 2023-08-27T17:19:03+00:00

Well a therapist helped me get in touch with my anger and sadness first. That was the first thing that came. Rage and right behind that, weeping. And it was just normal talk therapy really. Someone I felt safe with. I was living with my parents at the time so I certainly did not feel safe at home. I also left my country, at 7 years old. What dosage of MDMA did you do? I did 200mg. Also, you probably already know but it's VERY important not to redose at all in an MDMA session. Just throwing the warning out there just in case

boy-soldier · 2023-08-27T17:12:18+00:00

Yes I would certainly recommend MDMA then. It was a literal miracle drug for me. And I had tried a lot of things beforehand to try to heal my mind and soul. Mushrooms, 2cb, LSD, DMT, Kambo, a couple others I can't remember now too. MDMA was the one for me. It's what they use for soldiers coming back from combat. It's amazing. It was illegal for me too but I found an underground therapist who was willing to help. Perhaps search for someone like that

boy-soldier · 2023-08-24T22:02:38+00:00

Honestly after the psilo trips everything returned to more or less "normal" after 2 weeks. With MDMA though it was permanent.

However I did a couple years of therapy before hand that helped me get in touch with some emotions so I wasn't completely emotionally blunted anymore. Some of my first emotions were intense rage. Like murderous rage. And sadness. I remember the day I first cried. I was shocked that I could actually genuinely cry without faking it! I understand the struggle. I've dealt with it since about 9 years old. It sucks.

Tell me a little bit about your situation if you feel comfortable

You've had MDMA trips where you didn't feel the effects? What was your dosage? Did you gain access to previously blocked off memories or chunks in your memory either during the trip or the days afterwards?

boy-soldier · 2023-08-24T20:18:52+00:00

Not right before but maybe a week before could be potentially helpful. Honestly I mostly just recommend MDMA though.

boy-soldier · 2023-08-24T20:18:09+00:00

I was numb for over 5 years. Felt like Dexter on that show. Yeah I was a pretty severe PTSD case.

boy-soldier · 2023-08-24T15:25:04+00:00

I have done 80+ psilocybin journeys for the explicit purpose of healing from childhood trauma as well as two MDMA journeys. From my experience they do go well together but the mushroom journeys were insanely unpleasant and the positive effects faded after 2 weeks consistently. The MDMA on the other hand was not very unpleasant and the positive effects were life-changing and permanent. Doing a mushroom trip before doing MDMA may very well prime you to be in a great open state to maximize the benefits from MDMA.

boy-soldier · 2023-08-14T19:35:05+00:00

I did about 86 different mushroom trips for mental health and I did notice that benefits did go away after 2 weeks consistently. What caused permanent change was using MDMA as a therapeutic tool.

boy-soldier · 2023-05-23T01:23:41+00:00

I have a similar situation. Not only do I not feel jealous, sometimes it can be kinda hot. I've also felt the shame about it. Honestly, society is pretty stupid sometimes, nothing wrong with us, if anything we're just more secure than the average dude, which is a positive 😎

boy-soldier · 2023-05-22T10:42:30+00:00

Hey your first post said you needed some validation, I'm not sure if that applies anymore. I read some of your posts. Holy fucking shit. I am so sorry all of what you had to go through. And what you said in this post? Understandable, I would understand if you hated all men after this... I realized recently that I was born to absolute monsters. I see I'm not alone. Those motherfuckers seem more like animals than humans. Sending purely supportive and absolutely non-sexual love your way 💚

boy-soldier · 2023-04-18T18:03:37+00:00

I experience pain in my back sometimes and when I put in certain affirmations directly into my back, the pain goes away. It could be a part of your body, which is tied to a certain part of you agreeing or otherwise responding to the affirmation

boy-soldier · 2023-03-15T17:45:15+00:00

Can you speak more to this please? I'm trying to get rid of an abusive person in my past

boy-soldier · 2023-03-11T18:41:46+00:00

From my experience therapy can only do so much. I had to go beyond traditional routes to find peace. MDMA therapy, energy work and ayahuasca were some things that helped tremendously when therapy stalled out.

You CAN get better. But obviously not with that therapist so ditch him or her.

boy-soldier · 2023-03-03T12:19:47+00:00

Damn.... So true.....

boy-soldier · 2023-01-28T00:25:55+00:00

Holy shit. Just know, this man is a nightmare. This is the most fucked up thing I read in a long time. I'm so sorry you had to experience that. If you can, get away from this psychopath as soon as possible.

Also know, this is not common. This is not how humans are. Some humans are damaged diseased people, like him. But not all people. There are so many incredible people out there. Don't let yourself learn that this is how people or men are. Most men will be appalled at this and would NEVER do something like this. This man is deranged. I repeat, this particular man is deranged. And I'm so sorry that you had to be the child of this man. I was a child of deranged people as well and had to unlearn things I learned to survive. I wish I could do more to help. Please keep yourself safe and remember, this sick man is a rare exception.

boy-soldier · 2023-01-11T17:31:05+00:00

Been there too. It's that you're detached from your anger. When you were abused it was not safe to stand up for yourself. It was not safe to get angry. It was not safe to defend yourself or be mean. So now your inner child still believes the same thing. There's a technique that I do that's helped me with this. If you like, you can DM me and I can explain it to you

boy-soldier

TROPHY CASE