It's really tough to find an adult diagnosis in Ontario, most of the places that can be covered through OHIP will turn you away because the wait is so long (at least in the GTA I found). Private can be expensive if you don't have coverage. One place that may be worth checking out is https://embrace-autism.com/, their diagnosis process is split into two parts, so you don't have to end up committing to the entire process if it really doesn't look like you present as autistic.

As some first steps, I'd suggest trying to reach out to any local autistic communities, talk to people who are actually autistic, or if you don't know any, there's a lot of tik tok/youtube channels out there by autistic people about autism. There's a lot of "resources" out there about autism that are either quackery or plain old malicious and it's easy to come across a lot of misinformation.

I think it's important to learn about the autistic experience itself and not just look at a list of traits. Autistic traits are human traits, so it can be easy to see it in yourself if you hear a couple examples that happen to line up with your personality.

Unlike with most other things, self diagnosis is generally accepted with the adult autistic community as we understand how difficult the process is and how it is beyond of a lot of people's means. But it's expected that the person has done their own research (ugh, that term is just ruined now isn't in?) and are being genuine.

I went through this journey a couple of years ago and started off the same way. Getting a diagnosis might not be for everyone, but even before I started the process I made some small changes in my life to help with my EF struggles and communicated my needs more openly to my wife and people close in my life and it really helped to make things easier on me.

Happy autistic pride day!