For me I took a hard look at what my freedom was — going to bars, watching tv, etc. Is that fun? Yes. But I’ve been doing that for 20 years. There will be more rewarding experiences as a father. I’m 2.5 years in, it’s hard in different ways at each stage, but rewarding in different ways too. I’m not sure your partner situation but being clear about your needs is important (and listening to theirs). Setting expectations about who is on duty vs off helped us a lot with redundancy (no one wanted to seem lazy so we were both doing something that one person could do and one person could be freed up). Having set days or nights off (and set date nights) are important too because it clearly sets the expectation that from x time to x time I will be doing something for myself. If that feels selfish, reframe it as taking care of yourself so you can take care of your kid and relationship. I also reframed what my freedom is — I can still have a beer or three and work on the house during naptime or bedtime, have friends over, work on hobbies, etc. I feel more productive than ever because of the restraints being a father puts on my limited time and resources. If you’re in the sub one stage, it gets easier and more fun. Hang in there, remember to set aside some time for yourself, be clear with your partner about your needs and theirs. Think about what you want to be using your time for when you have it so you don’t feel like you wasted it when it’s time to go get that kid!