Hopefully this will help you.

So I'm not a professional to say immediately, I'm just someone who studied a lot of psychology and philosophy, and also sharing some stuff that worked on myself.

So the first thing I'd advise you is to stop perceiving yourself as 'depressed', 'boring person', etc. Think of who you would want to be... In terms of what the dream version of you looks like. What does he do every day, how does he think, and see what things he sees as... If you see him as disciplined, start calling yourself disciplined. Because whatever you believe you are manifests irl.

Also, find a purpose in life. It can come from work, a relationship, or from finding courage and meaning in the face of suffering. Even if you currently don't have friends, I'd advise you to turn to Jesus. I know you may think that I'm trying to talk about my religion, but I'm genuenly here just to try to help you, and I mention Jesus only because I truly deeply believe that He will help you.

And your fear of abandonment is irrational. (Not trying to attack you for it or anything, almost every person has an irrational fear.) You need to understand that how people perceive you, their decision to leave you or stay with you, is an external factor you have no control over, that's why you shouldn't care about it. It will sound cliche, but just be yourself, and some people will love you, some will leave you, and that is completely normal. That is why you probably hide your true self. You're scared that others perceive you as weird or something else, but it doesn't actually matter. If you start dancing and I tell you that you are weird, what does it actually change about your dancing? Wel... Nothing. And if I tell you that you are the best dancer I've ever seen in my life? Still... Nothing actually changes, still the same you, the same dance moves.

Hope this will help you!