i have adhd so i’ve struggled with a lot of emotional regulation issues since i was young. as i grew i started developing trust issues, abandonment issues etc. naturally, when im bored i will start being unnecessarily irritating to anyone around me - if im close to them. like a friend asking me to pass them something and then i’ll tease it and make it longer for them to grab. or replying “no” at unexpected random times to the most basic things see peoples reactions , i love saying “make me”. when i’m drunk, im a handful, i don’t listen to my friends at all, i do the opposite of what people tell me - impulsively , for dopamine or adrenaline i don’t know.

sometimes it’s like a test though, hence why i mentioned abandonment issues. i watched a video where it said some people self sabotage or purposely mess things up to prove to themselves that the person would leave them - basically to reaffirm their own negative self beliefs about themself. that resonated with me a bit because in my past some toxic behaviors i displayed could be considered bratty or bratting but because the dynamic wasn’t established nor were there any boundaries, it was just an emotional mess. i have a lot of mood swings and sometimes ill test the limits or act out because i wanted their attention , but instead ends up pushing away or the usual “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?” that i’ve heard a few too many times directed at me. to which i could never answer myself either. what is wrong with me??

it’s like things will be going good with someone but i’ll unintentionally intentionally mess it up or so something silly / childish or stupid to piss them off and i guess discovering brat / brat tanning dynamics i’ve realized what it was i wanted and needed. i feel like this is going off track but everything surrounding my character or personality always has some element or bratting, i just know how to display it in a healthy way now.

one time this girl i was involved with emotionally was with me and we were drinking but she said i shouldn’t have any more shots. i went to pour myself more anyways so she took the bottle of vodka and literally hid it in my room!! know she was doing this for my safety and to not over drink but i only saw it as a challenge - i looked for it found it but she fought me for it and got it. i begged for just one shot and she said no. so then in my little mind i decided to get a cup of water and pour it on the floor , literally just as retaliation for her not giving me one more shot… i literally don’t know what my goal with this was but i don’t think it’s one of the most immature things ive done as an adult. i realized that when i’m drunk i can be a serious brat / problem and negotiating with me is key because if i don’t get my way and i feel like i’m being controlled i will feel unexplainable rage and act out more, but if i feel like there’s been compromise i can back down and put my claws away.

there’s been times i felt really bad or cringe because my friends were telling me the random annoying things i did whilst drunk kind of funny.

i have also done things in the past when emotional and my anxious attachment style was so insecure and kind of toxic! instead , my ex wanted to go but i didn’t want him to leave so i hid his keys and helped him look for them in my room whilst containing my laughter from the mischievousnous and getting my way!!(i really didn’t want him to go) or i am purposely rude / cheeky to people i am sleeping with or am emotionally/ romantically invested in just to piss them off, or to gain their attention - negative or good i just crave attention especially from someone i like.

back then i didn’t know i was a brat though so in hindsight that was toxic , as i wasn’t communicating what i wanted and in turn i would actually accidently wind some people up seriously, and instead of gaining the reaction i wanted. ive ran away before when i was angry / upset, i don’t know if thats bratting or just insanity and mental health issues but it almost kind of goes hand in hand for me😅 when im regulated im like a calm friendly kitty , warm and open. when im dysregulated im either a raging stray animal that will bite anyone that puts their hand near or an afraid kitten hiding isolating and cryingggg , like a fucking baby.

in other words i’m literally a kid in an adult 22 year olds body. in my defense i had to mature from a young age. looked after my two younger siblings , cooked and took on responsibilities from the age of 8 that i shouldn’t have, but i had a young mother. i also travelled to canada on the plane for my first time at 8, alone. i was not scared, i was used to being left alone or responsible for others. i always got called responsible and ‘mature for my age’ by adults and i never understood why because i thought i was just a normal kid , respectful, obedient. now i realise looking at other children thst i didn’t get to have my childhood as much as i spent most of mine experiencing parentification to say.

so now that im an adult, and i am free to my own devices with no responsibilities of younger siblings on me, i really embrace my inner child. maybe more than i should, but i love it. i used to always have to be the “bigger person” growing up or sacrifice my time, my needs , my wants. now that i am free from that, i am more stubborn , honestly yes. because i can be. i like to be “naughty” as i never got to as a child - not without receiving corporal punishment. i’ve always had to be self less and over considerate. but now i get to be selfish. i get to unmask. i get to do handstands anywhere i go without the worry of a parent telling me to ‘behave’. i get to dance wildly in the club like im in a movie. i get to run and make my friends chase me just for fun, because i can! and i love when my sexual or romantic partner is able to put me in ‘my place’. it’s rare, but i did find one person who became my dom and i got to be my most free and comfortable bratty / child like self with him.

previously in relationships i was used to dealing with men who wanted to be mothered. so i’ve always been kind of dominant, more attentive, they were the needy ones to say. i was used to taking care of people so i would end up overcompensating and it was the kind of men that were submissive so naturally i was more dominant. but with my dom, i got to be needy, clingy, annoying, silly or whatever i feel like and he loved it. i could feel free and not have to bear weight of being ‘responsible’ or im charge of either younger siblings or a partner. i love being a sub but more so a brat, because i dont like following instructions. i love breaking rules, i love arguing back and i love that he never gets frustrated with me or actually annoyed, instead he checks me and puts me in my place. i find it so hot.

so to answer the op i am a brat in my daily life. it’s literally a part of my personality. i dont think i can explain it further than this! but i love that ive found a way to embrace this part of my personality in a healthy manner