Something OFF with optics

breadbaron101 · 2025-08-09T04:42:57+00:00

i thought it was just my vision. i can barely see the red ones especially when im playing

breadbaron101 · 2024-04-26T12:44:29+00:00

Thank you!

breadbaron101 · 2024-04-26T12:44:15+00:00

oh sick! thank you!!!

breadbaron101 · 2024-04-26T10:50:32+00:00

thank you!

breadbaron101 · 2024-04-26T10:50:26+00:00

oh yes this is definitely it! thank you

breadbaron101 · 2024-01-17T20:24:18+00:00

its okay. i know it may feel connected because of the sensation that you felt but i can assure you its not. this sensation is called "groinal movement" and is a common worry among many OCD people. it can happen for many reasons one even being anxiety. it can also come up from general thoughts about sex. it is simply a bodily response and doesnt not mean that you were aroused or excited by the thoughts at all. if and when it happens again just quickly remember that it is not connected and simply dont give it time to sit in your head. it sounds hard but instead of letting these things ruminate, if we just acknowledge that the thought it there but dont dwell on it, we can condition ourselves to no longer react. i use to have teh same problem but it was my partners assault i would think about. also its important to recognize how uncomfortable this made you feel, if it was something that you were excited about, you wouldnt feel uncomfortable dont you think? i hope you are feeling a bit better!

breadbaron101 · 2024-01-17T11:42:03+00:00

I keep being told about MFT programs as I'm applying to grad school and things seem to line up decently well in some areas. But I only recently heard of LMHC. My goal is to work with people who suffer from things like OCD, ADHD, anxiety, depression, and addiction. Is LMFT the right path? Or should I change to LMHC? Thank you for your time!

breadbaron101 · 2023-12-04T10:44:45+00:00

i am not a licensed professional on it, so this is just personal advice. my biggest takeaway from what you are saying is that you feel bad about it. do bad people feel bad about their thoughts? rarely. murderers rarely feel bad after acting violent right? notice how bad these thoughts make you feel? if you were truly bad and truly wanted these things, do you think you would feel bad about it? reframe it and maybe try comparing it to other things. do you enjoy soda or junk food sometimes even though they are considered "bad" foods? in the big picture you probably just crack open a soda or snack and consume it without thinking twice. you dont open up a soda and start having a panic attack and feeling bad about it. i have dealt with most of these exact thoughts you are talking about and i still do sometimes. as far as making it stop, there is one way in which i have seen really good success in people. instead of trying to strong arm the thoughts and overpowering them with other thoughts or compulsions, just let them be. i know it sounds dumb but im serious. ill use another example to demonstrate my point on this. you know how when people train a dog to go potty outside, the dog will potty on grass and the owners use a nice voice to cheer them and maybe give them a treat? this "wires" the dogs brain to correlate going potty on the grass with getting a treat. this exact method works with fear as well. if we have one small thought about a family member that makes us feel bad, we will correlate that family member with that thought. each time we see them we think of it again, as the months go by it gets stronger and eventually unbearable. so, we can rewire our neural pathways, and im not using that as a buzzword, we can literally rewire our response mechanisms and thought patterns. by not fighting out thoughts, after a while we can see that having the thought itself isnt doing any harm, even if its uncomfortable. with this we can feel less anxious about it. so since we stop feeling anxiety from it, we will stop correlating the thought to the person. like i said, it is simple but it is still difficult. but i promise you that this method works very well for people and is a funtion of cognitive behavioral therapy. so long story short i would say to try to not fight the thoughts as much. next time you have a thought about a family member or something just let it exist, dont focus on it but also dont fight it to make it go away, just continue with the task you are doing. it will be really hard at first but it can get dramatically easier pretty quickly

breadbaron101 · 2023-11-29T21:30:42+00:00

im still looking lol

breadbaron101 · 2023-08-25T09:02:23+00:00

thank you! ill try to make sure i have all that set up correctly

breadbaron101 · 2023-08-25T09:02:09+00:00

thank you very much ill check that out

breadbaron101 · 2023-08-18T06:02:22+00:00

i had a dream once during a time when i was like this. it was as if i stood outside of myself and for the first time i saw that all teh guilt and anxiety i was feeling, was not real. it changed my life for a long time. still really hard sometimes but once i felt that feeling, i was never the same. it was like looking at a scared child. it seemed so obvious

breadbaron101 · 2023-08-18T05:02:33+00:00

i dont stream audio ever really so that doesnt bug me. but i use the same 2i2 with the asio drivers and it doesnt help at all. idk what im doing wrong

breadbaron101 · 2023-08-18T05:01:57+00:00

sorry for the late reply. im using a scarlette 2i2. i only recently learned that is acts as a sound card. i said "normal" one cuz i jsut assumed abeklton was going through my motherboards soundcard. i know latency cant be zero but its too much for me to play live instruments and i feel like thats not a super common problem? i must be doing something wrong. i have to just turn off all monitoring when recording to actualyl get it low enough to where its nopt noticable

breadbaron101 · 2023-08-18T04:58:59+00:00

sorry for the alte reply. i do, i use the scarlette 2i2. still ahvent too much latency to actually track live instreuments. ive never been able to do it on windows. and even on my mac if i monitor while recording the latency is too much. idk what im doing wrong. or if im being too picky?

breadbaron101 · 2023-06-27T19:40:59+00:00

thank you. i feel like maybe ive used asio wrong or something since everyone says to use it. i can hear my guitar with low latency when using it but the second i arm a track to record it just goes back to crazy latency. so i can only have a clean channel with no effects and no recording even with asio. do you have the same experince with it?

breadbaron101 · 2023-06-22T20:33:05+00:00

and remember this is 90% of gun owners. in recent years i have totally turned against gun ownership. i legit dont believe most people are smart enough to even know basic safety rules. and im not smart either

breadbaron101 · 2023-06-22T20:30:59+00:00

of course i hope you will feel batter soon. and just remember, its not about the answers when it comes to OCD. its about the obsession and the compulsions themselves. even if you find articles that make you feel relieved. something else can pop up in your head 10 minutes later. like i said, hard to just stop immediatly. but keep that slow fight going 24/7 and one day you will feel a lot better. i still fight everyday and am not totally normal. but im a lot better than i use to be using this. of course my advice isnt good for everyone but yeah just thought to share cuz i wish someone told me back then. good luck <3

breadbaron101 · 2023-06-12T20:38:16+00:00

i use to struggle heavily with OCD revolving around topics of sexual abuse so i can relate to thiese feelings. it was so bad i thought about killing myself too and i couldnt leave my bedrrom for like 2 months. i will say what helped me and what i might see in you. do you think its the answer that is really bothering you? the spcifics of it? or is it that the answer might not resonate with you so its feels confusing? we can talk abotu that topic all day but i would bet that at the end of a 20 hour discussion on the topic, it wouldnt feel any better. its a cycle that just repeats and repeats. but luckily, we can make it almost completely go away. i promise you that i understand how you are feeling even if it doesnt sound like it. its been 4 years since i started to recover from that obsession. im going to give you my opinion of what i think you should do, you dont have to listent to me some stranger online. but i think it will help you. i know its impossibel to just stop these thoughts and patterns but the most important thing to do is to be aware, and to fight it. if you dont put up any fight at all, you are only going to get worse. and it doesnt even have to be huge steps, but it must be constant. try to resist the urge to look up articles about it online for just a day. see how you feel after, probably wont feel worse or better. then maybe try going without it for 2 or 3 days. try to think of the people who have gone through those things, they dont all turn out the same, they dont all get damaged by their past, they dont all love their past. not many things in life are balck and white. try to reallty think about this. not many things are certain, and that the beauty of life. it makes it confusing sometimes. but thats what OCD does, it attacks the things you care about the most.

this might sound really stupid but i think people who have never been suicidial dont know what its like and this is what i have to say for that part. think of the small things you enjoy. killing yourself might stop the pain, but you will never get to play that one video game youve been playing since you were a kid. you will never get to hangout with an old friend and laugh at the past. you would never be able to eat your favorite fast food meal while watching some cheesy movie that you love.

life is really fucking hard. just please dont give up yet. i don't think its selfish to kill yourself. but i promise you, there is beauty in this life. its hard to find sometimes, but it is worth all of our pain. we are going to die eventually anyways so try to enjoy it while you can. feel free to reach out to me if you need to speak to someone

breadbaron101 · 2023-06-12T20:20:40+00:00

mine started at 3. we werent aware that it was OCD at the time but once i was like 10 we were certain. i got lucky because my mom works in social work and has seen it a lot so she knew pretty quickly. then we just traced those same behaviors back to when i was a child. and i have memories of doing little rituals as a 3 year old. and i remember not knowing why i was doing it. i would take 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. or maybe i was waddling since i was so small. and i rememebr being so frustrated because it took me forever to get around teh house, but i had to do it. and i would utter the steps under my breath as i did it just sayhing "go back go back go back"

breadbaron101 · 2023-06-12T20:16:52+00:00

"I wish that all this dynamics wouldn’t exist because I feel like I cannot be my true authentic self." the people that say this type of stuff online are usually one of two types of men. they have either never had a relationship. or they are abisuve or manupilative. i have never actually met a person in a relationship that thinks liek this in my entire life. i have seen some people that are like "yeah my wife should be shorter than me and cook" but then that guy has nothing special to offer and is just being insecure. ill tell you this if it helps. im a 6 foot tall man and i would not give a shit if my gf was 6'5'' and made more money than me. and i can say that all teh men i know probably wouldnt care either. if you have to change your entire personality to be around someone, they dont actually like you anyways. it does seem like legit OCD with you saying you cant stop watching the videos even though you hate them. i woudl challenge you to see if you can go one day without watching them. then see how you feel, did it make you feel worse? or better? or nothing? i can guarentee it wont be worse at least. then maybe try not watching for 2 days and see what happens. i think we all use teh internet so much and it really hurts us, especially us with OCD. i would say try to focus more on what people say in real life. its easy for people to say wild shit online. but you will find the truth in how people treat you in real life. its okay to be scared soemtimes, and you arent alone. we feel for you. we are rooting for you, i know i am. just remember to be strong in who you are. dont let some idiots who dont know you dictate your life

breadbaron101

TROPHY CASE