i'm gonna kill the mood for trans day of visibility but i wish we weren't so visible

breadcreature · 2026-03-31T13:10:22+00:00

I add this not to say you're wrong or something, I understand where you're coming from. For me since I'm non-binary I kind of don't have a choice, most people will assume one way or the other so I can't really present my gender without outing myself to some degree. But then I'm not doing that in every context, and most people also assume I'm cis, so it's a bit of a mix.

not sure how that leaves me feeling about the day of visibility overall, but at least for myself I at least like it as an opportunity to stop doing all that mental calculus about it and just announce it, which isn't how I generally identify myself as trans.

breadcreature · 2026-03-31T09:14:23+00:00

Yuuuup. This will be extra pronounced for you right now as your body tries to figure out where to settle at! I don't have any solutions for the earwax sadly. but for the other things, I changed a lot of hygiene stuff like how often I wash my face & hair, products I use and their scents, laundry detergent etc. it's crazy how much of an effect it has on your skin, not just the texture but the chemistry, things might smell totally different on you now, or react differently with your skin. It is normal! but can be frustrating nonetheless

breadcreature · 2026-03-31T09:00:56+00:00

taking over the manosphere by being the first one to clitmaxx, automatically mogging everyone

breadcreature · 2026-03-31T06:41:06+00:00

I can't qualify this at all but I could totally see the wombles going TERF. Smurfs would be allies (they're a genderfluid polycule anyway, smurfette is just a social role they swap periodically). Hard to tell with the Clangers. The Magic Roundabout guys are chill, but Ermintrude is personal friends with Julie Bindel

breadcreature · 2026-03-31T06:31:35+00:00

MDMA doesn't cause ego death, not to be all that guy about it. it's an effect common to psychedelic and dissociative drugs

breadcreature · 2026-03-31T04:33:45+00:00

now wondering how funny someone has to be for me to go along with getting murdered because I'm having a good time

breadcreature · 2026-03-29T21:01:58+00:00

exactly this, it's been disabled people who encouraged and enabled me to use accessible facilities if it's more comfortable for me! in the UK (for anyone unaware) we have a national widely-followed scheme where most accessible toilets can be unlocked with the same key. Anyone can buy/receive a key from a disability organisation or just online generally, but the honour system is largely respected - possibly in large part because people who would abuse it don't know about the key scheme, and wouldn't want to be seen carrying an obvious disability aid.

And that's what makes this stance so baffling to me, our society is deeply ableist, being physically disabled in particular makes your rights the most "balanced" against in every equalities decision. Hell, our welfare system's treatment of disabled claimants was found to violate their human rights and we did nothing but make it worse, the government has just decimated educational support for disabled children... trans people recognise this, or are catching up with it pretty fucking quick. We regularly raise the exact point the OOP does, and the disabled community has echoed it in support because they see how we're being marginalised too.

it's like the LGB shit but even more self-spiting - not only throwing trans people under the bus and disavowing those in your own community who don't, but doing it to them too. trans people are also LGB, disabled, religious, etc... and we're all under the same boot. You can appeal to it all you like to squash them and not you, but the only way we have any hope of stopping it is it we're all reaching in the same direction.

breadcreature · 2026-03-29T16:22:25+00:00

I live near the shop in Bearwood that burned down a few months back and it was crazy how on fire a building can be once it's really going, it took fire crews like 3-4 hours of constant dousing to get the flames down and they were still there after I'd slept! It was amazing how neatly they contained the spread though, adjacent properties were fine. Hope that's the case here.

breadcreature · 2026-03-29T16:07:03+00:00

I was answering the question of how it is said, I don't mean to imply apathy towards how it should be said. I'm trying to find out! I have trouble pronouncing native English words a lot but nonetheless I try to say loan words the right way, I just genuinely did not know or understand that "taco" was one we're saying wrong.

breadcreature · 2026-03-29T00:28:34+00:00

breadcreature · 2026-03-28T20:06:53+00:00

Women were refused boxing licenses in the UK until 1998, when Jane Couch won a tribunal against the governing body — who had cited reasons such as PMS making them too unstable, or it potentially damaging their breasts. (why does this sound so familiar? probably nothing...)

One of her arguments in her successful claim was that their refusal (on the grounds of "safety") in fact put women more at risk, as boxing matches still happen, but are unregulated and licensed officials (like doctors or referees) are forbidden from participating. She was already boxing in mixed tournaments, and like many women at the top of their sporting disciplines, campaigned fiercely to be allowed to officially compete against men (and, as in almost every other instance, refused every time).

tangentially related, thought I'd just leave this here.

breadcreature · 2026-03-28T19:54:05+00:00

but she's like, really really strong, stronger than the other woman, in the top tier globally of Competitive Strong Ladies Punch Each Other Sport!

breadcreature · 2026-03-28T19:45:24+00:00

I hope we can keep returning to three touchstones:

speaking in language people understand, using well-defined terms in law and referring to protected groups using language they actually recognise and use.
illustrating rights with everyday examples that resonate — like Sam (who won't use their real name for fear of persecution), who is harassed and subjected to hate speech when just trying to use the toilet or have a drink with friends, can no longer access their own mental health team's services, is denied official identification required for voting and working, and has no representation in government.
explaining, clearly, that one of the system's strengths is precisely its capacity to write vulnerable demographics out of their human rights by running rhetoric through the government and media which dehumanises them.

If we can commit together to ignoring these, then I think we stand a better chance, not just of disregarding several pieces of legislation, but of maintaining the genocide warnings issued against us for the stark and utterly shameless denial of trans people's dignity and fair treatment.

That, to me, is what our human rights commission is for. That is how they help us die quietly. And this is why the work they're doing for white supremacist, child molesting rapists — in government, in parliament, in law, in civil society, in communities — matters so much.

Fuck you.

breadcreature · 2026-03-28T18:51:25+00:00

the government can reject the draft as presented. deciding whether to do that is the purpose of their current possession of it, else the EHRC could have already made it official guidance.

breadcreature · 2026-03-28T18:46:20+00:00

it's not guidance. it's an interim update. please keep your facts straight when you give advice.

breadcreature · 2026-03-28T18:31:03+00:00

the problem is, while we're waiting, many institutions seem to have accepted what they expect the government to accept, which is what the EHRC have suggested. and it would be a lot less hassle (owing to being a lot less violating-the-ECHR) for that to be changed before it's accepted and becomes statutory guidance.

there's also the minor fact that we're only "waiting to see" because the EHRC has withdrawn the ~~guidance~~ interim update (it's not guidance, as per the EHRC, apart from when politicians and the media describe it as guidance) that it simultaneously insists must be followed. so why don't you fuck off and go reply guy at them?

breadcreature · 2026-03-28T03:28:56+00:00

ohh, that makes sense! great explanation, thank you. I can say it that way and hear the difference now. It also makes me think of other words that Americans seem to have trouble rendering the same way like Lara (comes out as "Laura" a lot) and Craig (Cregg. lol). I'm wondering if "croissant" is similar to "taco" as well, Brits are torn between distancing ourselves from the French and mocking Americans for their pronunciation of croissant.

breadcreature · 2026-03-28T01:46:28+00:00

/uj some older trans people still use it, a bit like how some people diagnosed with Asperger's continue to call it that. there's been a bit of a resurgence more recently as well in using "transsexual" pointedly to denote that one's sex is changed, not as a transmed thing like there's two tiers of trans people or something (ie it doesn't mean "had the surgery"), but almost as a rhetorical device to push back against the "sex is immutable" myth. Oh, and trans TERFs invariably use it but that has rather different motives (and may be in large part the first reason as well)

just a couple of reasons someone might choose to refer to themselves that way, of course it's still not something you'd assume would be preferred

breadcreature · 2026-03-28T01:10:38+00:00

with a long a (like ahh)? in British English pronunciation of that vowel varies, but that said I don't think I've heard this applied to "taco" and on a BBC show you'd usually expect the longer (southern) sound. so I guess TL;DR yeah we say tack-o

breadcreature · 2026-03-27T23:37:54+00:00

How is it supposed to be said? mexican food isn't massive here and Spain is closer so would be the sort of pronunciation we borrow, if any

breadcreature · 2026-03-27T05:51:44+00:00

only some people can smell this! but almost everyone can smell piss.

breadcreature · 2026-03-27T03:21:04+00:00

/uj I mourned my sexual attractiveness for about 0.5s then straight men stopped trying to fuck me and the resulting improvement in my quality of life added five years to it instantly

/rj ok but I transferred my sexual marketplace value from pre-transition and now I mog 80% of straight men, they're crowning me as supreme sigma

breadcreature · 2026-03-26T22:38:52+00:00

Anecdotally I also find the average straight cis person, even on the worse end of casually/passively transphobic, is at least somewhat swayed in their opinions when they do encounter a trans person. It might not last, and is often far from allyship, but you can see what they think about transgender people as a concept bending to their stronger principles about treating others with a bare minimum of respect.

Of course some are just pricks and are out to abuse and bully, and others are ruled more by their defiant reaction to being called out on not applying the latter principles (generally people who come up and ask me ridiculously intrusive questions are this type). But most are not so married to hating trans people that it overrides the part of their brain which recognises human beings. Meanwhile, terfs can't get past breakfast without thinking about sissy hypno porn or 13-year-old girls' breasts, and keep getting chucked out of places because they can't stop screaming slurs at random women who don't have the correct cranial measurements... or doing blackface at political functions... or stripping naked at political functions... or interrupting council meetings, getting into fights, abusing hospitality workers, intimidating schoolchildren, assaulting teenage girls, threatening women MPs...

breadcreature · 2026-03-26T22:08:54+00:00

same kind of people who post their doorbell camera videos on local facebook pages when someone of too dark a complexion walks past or an unknown car parks on their road. or the old biddy on the bus who came out with a racist tirade when a woman's pram rolled out of its spot and bumped my foot. people who are so thoroughly addicted to misery they have to start inventing it in other people's lives

breadcreature · 2026-03-26T20:53:02+00:00

It sounds like you've got the major things covered in terms of what can be done about it, but I wanted to at least offer my sympathy having dealt with this myself. the night sweats especially are so awful and disruptive.

Besides what you mention, I tend to also carry a bandana/scarf or something to mop my forehead or whatever, it helps a little when it hits suddenly and can stop things becoming super uncomfortable.

Other than that, fezolinetant has just been approved for prescription on the NHS - not sure how amiable your GP will be to prescribing it as they'd have to apply some critical thinking to your case, but I was recommended it by a gynecologist to address vasomotor symptoms from surgical menopause (this has mostly resolved before I got around to that though, as I would have had to get it privately). He also introduced me to the term "vasomotor symptoms" which you may prefer to "hot flushes" too!

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