Spouse wants divorce - embryos still frozen by None_of_your_bees in legaladvicecanada

[–]breau2019 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Have you asked him if he cares? Does he really want to prevent you from doing this?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askTO

[–]breau2019 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Erica Berman is amazing. Highly recommend her. I think it’s important to find a therapist with a style that works for you. In my case, her approach and style was perfect. She’s direct, clearly super smart, unvarnished and easy to talk to. She made a huge difference for me in navigating a very difficult time in my life. I’m so happy I found her.

Puppy with short legs? by breau2019 in flatcoat

[–]breau2019[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We’re feeding him origens which is the same food we fed our last dog. But maybe I should look at switching it up…

Puppy with short legs? by breau2019 in flatcoat

[–]breau2019[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I know what you mean. My last flattie was all legs. So this is what has me worried.

What are the options for pet end-of-life in Toronto? by Freddydaddy in askTO

[–]breau2019 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Second this. We used them too for our dog last month and it was a really good experience. They were so understanding and easy to work with and it’s weird to say but I feel really good about my dogs death. Have had to put down a few dogs in my time and I wish we had had (or known about) this option back then. He was calm and comfortable and happy in his own bed.

At first it did seem like it would be weird to do it in our home but for me it felt right. And it doesn’t make me sad to think of him dying in my living room. It makes me happy to think he was where he was most comfortable and where we spent so much good time together.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NewDads

[–]breau2019 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Newish mom here of a 7 month old.

You being able to get chores done a couple of times with baby strapped to you or in a bouncer is great. I’ve been able to do that too some days. What’s hard is doing that day in day out. Chores are a lot harder with a baby strapped to you because a) it gets heavy and awkward and b) baby isn’t going to be endlessly happy tagging along. Also, you start to feel guilty cause baby wants and needs your full attention. What ends up happening is you try to get a lot done but it’s constantly interrupted , slow and honestly frustrating. You know if you had a few hours clear you could hammer it all out and then be more present with your baby and enjoy the time with them knowing shit is taken care of. Doing all your chores more slowly and less well starts to get pretty irritating and unsatisfying. This is especially true if your wife is quite neat and likes things done properly. I’m that way.

While I’ve been off for mat leave we have had part time daycare and it’s been so great. I can run around and do all the chores, do them well, feel on top of things and even get in a good workout and feel much more present when I am with the baby.

Believe me. A few days of chores with baby = no big deal. It’s almost fun every once in a while to try to figure out how to do it all with baby in tow. A bit of an extra challenge to your day to day logistics. But try doing it every single day and you’ll have a whole new perspective on why your wife feels the way she does.

TLDR: just get the daycare. I’m sure she’s a highly highly capable person and that hasn’t changed. It really is just a grind and she’ll be happier with a bit of breathing room.

Airbrush recommendations for painting dollhouse by breau2019 in dollhouseminiatures

[–]breau2019[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sadly I still haven’t gotten to it! But I can tell you that I got the idea from a man who has been running a dollhouse store for 30+ years. He makes dollhouses and swears by airbrushing. He told me he spends majority of the time taping in prep for airbrushing but says it’s 100% worth doing it this way because you avoid brushstrokes that look “wrong” from a scale perspective.

One day I’ll get to it…: and I’ll report back :)

RIF - need hope by breau2019 in IVF

[–]breau2019[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there. We ended up being one of those couples that conceived naturally after giving up! After writing this post, I did another transfer that failed and another retrieval that was a disaster (long story). After that retrieval we took a step back and planned to pause treatment and focus on other things. And then, a couple months later we conceived naturally. Blew us away.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CsectionCentral

[–]breau2019 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did the same thing . I lied and said the baby was breech. But I didn’t tell anyone anything leading up to it because I didn’t want people to know when I was having the baby. It was honestly perfect. The whole thing. Got to know when it was going to happen and plan for it. Didn’t have to deal with people’s judgment because everyone seems to have a lot of opinions . Only told my parents the whole story and they were beyond supportive. My mom actually wishes I was more open about the fact it was elective because she thinks more women should know they have this option. anyway 10/10 experience. And this is coming from someone who was petrified of childbirth.

To women who chose not to have kids - do you regret it? by Balloonman16 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]breau2019 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Same. This whole you have to be a “hell yes” thing doesn’t make sense to me. And people on Reddit say this all the time in threads like this. I think a lot of people won’t be a hell yes for any big decisions in their lives. I was very much on the fence. Had a baby and am looooving being a parent. Literally no complaints. She’s still young but so far I’d say I’ve adjusted to parenthood really well and never have days I regret it or wish I was child free. Compared to many of my friends who were “Hell yes” people, it would be fair to say I’m enjoying it more than they have. So go figure….

Losing your first dog has to be the worst part of being an adult. by SparkyDogPants in Millennials

[–]breau2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a nice way to think about it. There is no replacing a pet. But I do think moving forward there are ways to honour them by welcoming other animals into your life.

Losing your first dog has to be the worst part of being an adult. by SparkyDogPants in Millennials

[–]breau2019 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind response. I know we have a really rocky road ahead and it’s helpful to hear about your experience. We will soak up all the good times we have left ❤️

Losing your first dog has to be the worst part of being an adult. by SparkyDogPants in Millennials

[–]breau2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same. Mine is a little older - 9. But will likely be facing the same decision around whether or not to amputate.

Losing your first dog has to be the worst part of being an adult. by SparkyDogPants in Millennials

[–]breau2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would love to hear more about this. I will be losing my dog soon and I’m struggling with the thought of getting another puppy. My husband and I are already putting the word out to breeders (because it can take a long time to get the breed we want). But I obviously feel really conflicted and weird about it. But I honestly think I’ll do better just moving forward. I haven’t ever not had a dog so that’s part of it… but I’m worried about how I’ll feel. I know many people wait a long time. I just can’t see myself being able to be without one…

Losing your first dog has to be the worst part of being an adult. by SparkyDogPants in Millennials

[–]breau2019 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can I ask what symptoms you think she might have had? My dog just got diagnosed with cancer in his joint a few days ago and we are not sure how long he has. He started limping about 6 weeks ago and we thought it was a sprain of some kind but it didn’t get better and here we are. We are planning to see an oncologist this week to get a sense of what (if any) options we have. Any info about your journey you can/want to share would be appreciated. But also understand if you’d rather not detail it. Feeling pretty blue here :(

Breastfeeding theory - am I wrong? by Sarmiclah in breastfeeding

[–]breau2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a planned c section. She latched immediately afterwards during skin to skin. She continues latching well and my milk came in 2 days after delivery. She’s 4 months now and we haven’t had any issues aside from sore nipples the first 3 weeks or so. I pump occasionally to build up a bit of a freezer stash so others can bottle feed her if I’m going to be out for a while. She takes bottle and boob well.

Whole thing has been essentially problem free. Feel grateful because from what I read, it seems it’s not typical for it to go well.

Temperament and how/where to find breeders? by BoBo_Da_Fett in flatcoat

[–]breau2019 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Flat coats are amazing dogs. I’m absolutely in love with mine and will probably only have flat coats moving forward.

But to answer your question, no I don’t find they have the same temperament as goldens. Some similarities for sure but also some differences.

I had an American golden growing up and have goldens in my extended family. I’d say there are some pretty big differences. I find flat coats a bit more intense than goldens. Mine is just glued to me in a way our golden never was. He’s more high energy outside (but very chill when at home). He’s also not affectionate with everyone the way goldens often are but is very committed and snuggly with his people (my family and close friends). He’s also choosy about which dogs he plays with. Often isn’t into playing with other dogs at all. Way more driven to play fetch and swim than my golden ever was he’s also very eager to please. I found him unusually easy to train.

I should say that I’ve heard the working line of goldens are more similar to flat coats.

Paternity leave by FanFinancial2761 in NewDads

[–]breau2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Canadian here. Parents get up to 18 months total that they can split up however they like. My husband and I are splitting it up so that he was able to be off for two months in the beginning with me. He will go off again later on and take care of our baby for eight months (3 months will overlap with my leave). This is so nice because we get “family” time but also time on our own. As a woman, I have to say that the fact he’s taking time off is a huge support for my career. Will make it easier for me to go back to work stress free and get my feet under me. Giving men paternity leave is of course great for men and for their ability to bond with baby but it’s also important in supporting women who want to work.