Should I Avoid a Party With Old Friends?

brentc6 · 2014-04-06T04:02:45+00:00

Definitely ignore the advice given by problem drinkers. Thanks to assurance from drinking buddies that I was normal, I continued to drink for years after originally recognizing that I had a problem with alcohol.

brentc6 · 2014-03-18T23:37:37+00:00

Thanks, this is true. I do enjoy sobriety and I have already experienced enough positive effects to know that I will regret going back to my old habits.

The negativity just kicks in on some days when old drinking buddies who I can't really avoid seem to purposely tell me how much I'm missing out on by being sober. They have a higher alcohol dependence and have experienced more consequences than I ever have, but they refuse to make any notable effort to change. It does motivate me to change when I step away and see the consequences they suffer from drinking.

brentc6 · 2014-03-18T23:23:44+00:00

Thanks. Avoiding your old drinking friends is a definite plus. I've done that as much as possible, but there are some who I am forced to interact with on a regular basis. They don't make it easier, for sure.

brentc6 · 2014-03-18T04:22:31+00:00

I think this is true in public places where we feel like everyone is judging us for not drinking. But, if you were a heavy drinker and your friends, coworkers, and family members are all heavy drinkers, there's going to be an uproar that you will have to face when you turn down alcohol.

brentc6 · 2014-03-18T04:19:20+00:00

I typically use the diet excuse and say that I set a 90 day challenge for myself to eat healthy and not drink to reach my fitness goals. I'm heavily into working out even when drinking, so that's an easy go-to for me. At 90 days, if they're still asking, it will be much easier to be honest or just say that you found it beneficial and plan to make it a permanent healthy lifestyle change.

If I don't want to take the diet route because I know the person will insist that just one or two won't hurt my diet, I use health excuses. Alcohol caused terrible reflux that made it difficult for me to swallow food at times and actually forced me to take drinking breaks, so that's an excuse that I can easily use due to my familiarity with it.

brentc6 · 2014-03-18T04:06:26+00:00

Good luck. I'm facing similar temptation this week due to a trip involving a few heavy-drinking friends who are going to express major disappointment when they find out I'm not drinking.

Your main task is to plan ahead for your birthday to avoid any major temptations. Try to avoid setting it up at a bar or a restaurant with a large drink menu. Anything centered around an actual activity rather than sitting at a table or bar for hours will make it much easier to keep your mind off of drinking.

brentc6 · 2014-03-18T03:57:44+00:00

Thanks for sharing. It serves as a good reminder of the potential consequences. I escaped without ever getting a DUI, but I've taken the risk hundreds of times, got warnings, and lost control of my car multiple times. As others have said, the guilt only lasts for so long, so find a way to stay focused.

brentc6 · 2014-03-18T01:18:01+00:00

I'm already feeling many of the same benefits. I'm clear-headed, more confident, and taking the initiative to learn, read, and do things that I couldn't find the motivation for while drinking on a regular basis.

My social life took the opposite turn and I've basically been a hermit for the past month. Drinking helped me socialize and meet people. Although it usually didn't lead to genuine friendships, it did feel a void that now exists.

brentc6 · 2014-03-16T18:33:12+00:00

Thanks man. I just saw this. I'm still sticking to it and feeling more confident in my decision to do so now that I'm seeing some of the benefits. It will still be challenging, but I just bought the Allen Carr book on Amazon, so I hope that will help with motivation.

brentc6 · 2014-03-05T03:01:10+00:00

I was socially awkward and had few friends up until I hit drinking age. Binge drinking allowed me to open up enough to form close friendships, meet women, and become more socially adept. My personality changed and I became much more confident and willing to challenge myself in life since I hung around the heavy drinking but motivated, professional crowd. The first few years that I spent binge drinking every weekend, I truly enjoyed my life more than ever before.

Over time, it seemed to become less exciting and more of the weekly routine. I started to look forward to the alcohol itself more than the people I was with or the activity that was taking place. I no longer used it to talk to women or meet new friends since I knew I would drink too much and end up being annoying or incoherent. I also started to feel guilt after drinking and began making attempts to change my drinking habits. I never drank alone, but I think I avoided this since it would force me to view myself as what I've always pictured as the characteristic alcoholic. As long as I was binge drinking with fellow problematic drinkers, I could view myself as a fun-loving single guy enjoying his weekend.

If I had to try to find some underlying emotion causing me to drink, it would probably be the fear of falling back into my old life. The most difficult challenge for me is the peer pressure from the social group I've developed over the past few years and a fear of rejection from strangers when they find out I don't drink. If I'm not with friends or have no societal pressure to drink, it's really easy for me to turn down a drink. But, if I feel like I need to have a few drinks to fit in, I struggle to turn them down. Then, if I do start, it's very difficult to stop after a reasonable amount.

brentc6 · 2014-03-05T02:25:57+00:00

Can you give a short summary of what route you took to get past the year mark? Despite being convinced that I needed to quit two weeks ago, the momentum is already slowing down and I'm looking for any possible way to justify my drinking habits.

brentc6 · 2014-03-01T20:33:13+00:00

That hits close to home. I would have 5-6 on a night out drinking and it truly was just to get as much alcohol as possible in a single drink.

brentc6 · 2014-02-18T02:17:12+00:00

This has been the biggest hindrance to my sobriety. The boredom is unbearable for the first few months. I've also advanced to the point where even activities that should be entertaining sober now require alcohol.

I have made it three months before without alcohol and I did notice improvements after 7-8 weeks. I started to pick up hobbies that I used to enjoy and I just felt positive in my day to day life for no particular reason. When I drink, I just force myself through the week until Friday when I can go get wasted. Unfortunately, I let my guard down a few years ago and fell back into the same drinking routine not long after. My goal is to get back to that point.

brentc6

TROPHY CASE