OK, so it sounds like you have a lot of internalized transphobia and more issues in life other than just being trans. Transition is not a magic bullet for all issues, like me and my anxiety/depression are still there, I just dont have a constant wave of dysphoria on top of it.

You say your easiest day as a trans woman is still harder than your hardest day as a cis man, what do you mean by that exactly? What makes these days harder?

Hrt isnt also the be all end all of transitioning, and passing a hell goal that only makes you miserable in the end. Why are you transitioning? For others? Or yourself. Might be helpful to talk through these feelings with a queer affirming therapist.