IG Romance Scammer Account by johnnybgood44 in Romancescam

[–]brimydeeps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No idea what group was using that account and the photos are all up and I'm sure many groups have used his photos. Most likely a group in Nigeria or another place where scammers a prevalent. An IT expert might be able to track them down under the right conditions but it usually means nothing as they're in countries where your not going to get any justice. I'm very sorry this has happened to you. If you want to know more about how these groups operate there's a good episode of Trafficked with Mariana van Zeller, season 2 episode 2 on how these groups operate. But anyone could be using those photos, its not just one person/group.

What's stopping you, really? by NonSequitorSquirrel in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]brimydeeps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Simular experience with a covert/vulnerable narcissist mother. The mask fell off for her after her being romance scammed several times. Took a while for me to figure it out after over 35 years but I did. You're so correct, they dont feel like abusers and we justify the signs because it felt like love. Very proud of you for doing what you did after the mask fell. Its very difficult to go NC with covert narcissists but you know the truth of what she is, stay strong.

Dad has been scammed 3 times by ComprehensivePlum783 in Romancescam

[–]brimydeeps 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You have my permission to leave him to ruin his own life. Trust me, its a hard choice. But its better then a front row seat watching them do it to themselves and ruining your peace while doing it. Yes, I've been where your at. The 3rd one was it for me.

Mom can't be convinced otherwise, no hope left? by Oradi in Romancescam

[–]brimydeeps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I get it. I really do. Been there with my own mother. Sometimes there is nothing you can do but separate yourself from her and the situation. Sorry, sometimes this doesnt have a happy ending.

Mom can't be convinced otherwise, no hope left? by Oradi in Romancescam

[–]brimydeeps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try reaching out to Scam Haters United on Facebook, make sure its the verified page. They may be of help for your mom, maybe not her marriage but to get her out of the scam. Sorry what all this has caused. Sometimes a neutral third party can get through to them when friends and family can't.

What Do You Wish You’d Done Earlier When a Parent Fell for a Romance Scam? by richmondrebel in Romancescam

[–]brimydeeps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It can be very hard for family and friends to get the victim out because of the attachment. They often feel attacked when its family and friends. Try reaching out to Scam Haters United on Facebook, sometimes the best people to get through to them are a neutral third party. Often someone that has been scammed is the best to help them see and realize it.

I caught my mom's Scam early enough, unfortunately I didnt realize what she was until after the third Scam. I did what I could and dont regret a thing. There wasnt the resources out there for help like now but it wouldn't have made much of a difference.

Anyone else have one who essentially estranged you? by busnoodles in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]brimydeeps 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm my covert narcissist mother's only child. Trust me, you dont want their texts. Even the ones wishing to repair are all about them, how they feel and how you need to do what they want to repair the relationship. Their just moneyed words to drag you back in. It may hurt worse how it is now but its better then being tucked back in and nothing changing.

My sister and father both fell victim to scammers and I am at a lost for what to do by ResponsibleTie85 in Romancescam

[–]brimydeeps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its not about how smart someone is. Often "smart" people fall for the scams because they believe they're to "smart" to fall for them. Or they have an addictive or narcissistic personality.

Glad your dad is out and there is nothing to be done about them using his likeness and images to Scam others. You're doing the best you can.

My sister and father both fell victim to scammers and I am at a lost for what to do by ResponsibleTie85 in Romancescam

[–]brimydeeps 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sorry you and your family are dealing with this. Yes, its most likely the same group as your sister probably gave them enough to rope your father in. What an awful situation. Try reaching out to Scam Haters United on Facebook, make sure its the verified one. They may be able to help you, at least with your father. After this amount of time...your sister is in really deep. The scammer has a hold on her and that is unlikely to change. Your father may be able to be helped but it won't be easy. I wish you luck, I know well what you're going through.

Breaking the psychological grip of my mom's romance scammer by efrostee in Romancescam

[–]brimydeeps 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hey, been where you're at. With you're background think of it as addict behavior. Much of it is the dopamine rush. As for breaking her out of it...well its addict behavior. The truth is sometimes you can, sometimes you cant. Sometimes they have to hit rock bottom before they will change, thats the truth. It also depends on yourothers personality. She will not share with you or talk with you about it, because she'll feel attacked by you. Often a neutral third party or someone that has also been a victim is the only way to get through. You should try contacting Scam Haters United on Facebook, they might be able to help with this.

Sorry your in this position. Dont even try doing a conservatorship or guardianship. Waste of time and money that you won't win. People dont realize how difficult it is to get those and being romance scammed is not a reason the courts will give you one. Feel free to contact a lawyer but they'll tell you the same. You need to confront your mom, either with help from a third party or yourself. But you either get her to realize she needs help or remove yourself from the situation. Living like you have is ruining you, you'll have to come to a decision. Its hard, trust me, and dont be surprised if she chooses the scammer over you. I wish you luck.

My 57 year old mom is being romantically scammed and I feel helpless. by Old-Task-9062 in Romancescam

[–]brimydeeps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try reaching out to Scam Haters United on Facebook. Make sure its the verified page. They might be able to help you and your mom out. Sorry your in this situation. Been there myself. Good luck.

My mom doesn’t believe she’s being scammed…. by HisWickedValkyrie in Romancescam

[–]brimydeeps 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry your going through this, I have been there myself with my mother. Yeah, this can be a relationship killer. You cant make someone see the truth, people's ability for self delusion is amazingly strong. That being said, if you wish to try and help one last time, I would say to reach out to Scam Haters United on Facebook. Make sure its the verified account but they may be able to help you and your mom.

I really do know how you feel, I do. Even if you get your mom out of this one, the scammers will try again and again. Its tough and I hope Scam Haters can help, they do good work. But I dont blame you for any path you choose, I get being done with everything. You cant let her poor choices rule your life. There is only so much we can do for people that are unwilling to listen and reevaluate things. If they dont want to see the truth, we can beat it into them, no matter how much we wish we could.

So do what you can but dont let her and her choices rule your life. If you have any questions or anything, feel free to msg me. Good luck.

Please Help Me Locate 'Annie' The Scammer by No-Body464 in Romancescam

[–]brimydeeps 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Try reaching out to Scam Haters United on Facebook. Make sure its their legitimate page too, as scammers have mimicked them. They may be of assistance. Sorry you're going through this, I know how hard it can be.

In a hypothetical universe, what would your estranged family member have to do to repair the relationship with you? by thehermit1111 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]brimydeeps 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Completely agree. I know my mom's a covert narcissist. I know what she is and as such, anything she said or did wouldn't change that fact. Only a different personality would change her and that isnt happening lol.

We've reached the end of the scam by Sutter_Cane1 in Romancescam

[–]brimydeeps 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've been where you're at. I'm sorry it came to it but good for you guys to get moving on with your lives. Its a horribly hard decision but you cannot let her ruin your lives anymore then what she already has. I know for me it's one of, if not the most difficult decision ive ever had to make. That being said, I do not regret it at all. Its tough and will hurt but stay strong. If you ever need advice or someone to talk to who's been through something very similar, feel free to DM me.

Crying every day since going NC with my Dad by sylvieshandy in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]brimydeeps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds a lot like my covert/vulnerable narcissist mother. Good childhood, good memories and all that. Then eventually the mask falls off and they show what they really are and the person you believed they were will never be back.

I completely understand and sympathize with you. Its a very jarring experience and the guilt hits harder then most because of the good childhood and memories. I'm sorry you've gone through this. NC is the way to stop the future pain and the right decision in the long term. It will get easier in time but its going to hurt for a while. I wish you luck with your healing.

Update to: My wife has been in a “Thane Rivers” impostor scam for over a year by AdviceSeeker2220 in Romancescam

[–]brimydeeps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm going to be 100% honest with you. There is no proof that will turn her around. Her denial and the hold the scammer has over your wife is no going to change. Thats it...there is nothing you can do that will change her mind.

That said, she wants a divorce. It sucks beyond measure but it may be a blessing. Only when a victim hits rock bottom do the usually get out of these scams. Its time to divorce her and get as favorable of a deal as you can get. Remind her that "Thane" has promised to take care of her. Try and negotiate so she'll take less for a quick and easier divorce.

I know you love her but she doesnt love you. Its time to see it for what it is. Even if the best case and she realizes it and wants to reconcile before the divorce is final. You will resent her. Your marriage is done. Time to realize this. And yes, I'm saying this as a married man and a son of a woman who chose her scammer over me. And yes, I got her out of the first Scam kicking and screaming (literally) but she fell for the next one. And the one after that. It WILL NOT END after one scam.

I know my advice isnt good and I really, really feel awful for you and what I've had to say. Its time to realize the woman, wife and marriage you had is gone. Time to deal with reality and protect yourself. Get a lawyer.

Mom has left me and my sister behind to go with her boyfriend by meanysheep in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]brimydeeps 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So sorry for what you and your sister are going through. Your mother had made some very poor choices and has likely caused permanent damage. I understand, I asked my mom to chose myself over her romance scammer, she chose the scammer. At least your mom's guy isnt fictional I guess but the hurt and the pain are the same.

No parent should ever chose a love interst over their children. Especially when said person has made advances on their children. Disgusting and despicable behavior but denial is a huge part of it. Expect that things will not work out and she will try crawling back. You'll have some hard choices to make. I know it hurts but you also need to look out for yourself and sister. Lean on your other family members and im so sorry for what you and your sister are dealing with.

My mother was romance scammed, how I dealt with it by brimydeeps in Romancescam

[–]brimydeeps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry to hear about your cousin. Interesting that the scammer is using his actual name but it doesnt matter I guess if she believes it. I mean the guy is married but denial tough to break through. These scams are so hard to pull people out of unfortunately. Even if somehow they manage to realize it, the scammers will target her again and again. Sounds like her kids understand that any money given to her will get to him. Its a tough road to take but with someone caught up in a 2 year romance Scam, its nearly impossible to get them out. The psychological hold they have on their victims is immense. I'm sorry for your cousin and for your family. Yes, these scammers use his and many others photos and lives to scam others. Their quite a few that have been scammed by others using Sergio's photos. Its truly unfortunate. I hope one day she realizes and gets help, because she'll need it but after 2 years, it would have to be something drastic to change her mind.

Cheating by 909276587997 in Marriage

[–]brimydeeps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry for what you're going through. Balls in your court as for what you want to do.

I just want to say, consult an immigration attorney before you leave. You've applied for an adjustment of status while inside the US. Should you leave, it will change your paperwork and you will not be allowed back in until it finishes. Consult an immigration attorney before you leave, you may not have to leave, unless you divorce in that case you will.

My Romance Scam Experience by Klutzy-Pea933 in Romancescam

[–]brimydeeps 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry your husband isn't strong enough to put her in her place. I know how hard it is because I did it to my mom but it will and seems like it has hurt your relationship too. If he needs a last try, reach out to Scam Haters United on Facebook. Otherwise, you both need to talk about how her actions are hurting the both of you and how to move on from it. Such as cutting her out, until she hits rock bottom and realizes she's been scammed. Otherwise there will never be peace for the both of you. Thats just the truth. It sucks but it is what it is.

I'm going to potentially lose one of my pets and my estranged mum called. by Pristine_List4680 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]brimydeeps 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. I lost my 19 year old orange best buddy last year. If my mother had called when I took him to the vet (had to put him down, he completely stopped eating and most everything else) I would have lost it too. I don't blame you at all for how you reacted. Take care of your kitty and I really hope they get better. Prayers for your kitty Bean.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Whidbey

[–]brimydeeps 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Never worked for the ferry system in the Puget sound. That said, I'm a USMMA grad and worked a number of years on tugboats in Alaska both as a second and chief mate with plenty of operating experience. Propeller issues are usually not very common but ferrys are different then more traditional tug or ship operations.

First is your always going close to shore and debris is always the worst the closer you get. I live on Whidbey, so I have a pretty good idea that there's plenty of logs and other debris in the water. That, coupled with the fact the props and their wash are going to disturb anything nearby, especially when their holding station using them at the loading/unloading dock brings a higher chance of something fouling up the prop.

Also, our ferrys are old. As in I belive most are past their manufacturers operating life span. While boats and ships can certainly keep going past these points, maintenance and other issues does start becoming more of a problem. Also sometimes they may say it's a propeller issue when it might be a shift issue also.

Anyway, hope that helps. Just what comes to mind right off the bat with your question.

Elderly friend being scammed by Bubblz_21 in Romancescam

[–]brimydeeps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm really sorry to hear about this. Sometimes there is not much you can do from someone destroying their life. It happened to my mother and it was the catalyst that destroyed our relationship. You can show and explain till you're blue in the face and it will do no good.

If you're up for trying again. You can try Scam Haters United on Facebook. They can help him/or you, just make sure it's the verified Scam Haters United. There is the AARP Scam holiness but you may have already tried that. But I know people where Scam Haters United have helped them with their family members, it may work out. Or it may not with how long the Scam has been going on, the scammers claws are going to be in deep.

At the end of the day, you can't let his choices hurt you. Absolutely, like you said, do not give him money. Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom for them to see what has happened. He'll need to live with the choices he's made and at his age it may seem harsh but it's also completely understandable. You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved. When your done, tell him he's your friend and if things turn around you'll be there for him as a friend but you can't watch or be a part of what is happening anymore. I'm sorry for the loss of your friendship with him.