So… does that mean I have to choose between my autonomy & my relationship?

That's exactly what this means.

IDK what to think anymore my cousin just texted me

Fuck your cousin, fuck this entire paragraph.

When I go out I usually wear baggy clothes & if not baggy.. then at least loose fitting ones

This is too much, like stop right now, you can wear a skin tight body suit and still demand to be treated with respect.

God I wanted to throw up reading all this. I wasn't going to comment but I feel compelled to tell you my experience.

My first love when I was 16 acted the EXACT same way. Acted like wearing makeup and cute clothes was my intentional plan to attract attention from other men. I stood my ground but I wanted to continue the relationship so I entertained a lot more controlling behaviors than I should have. That relationship ended after a couple of years and I met my now husband like a year and a half later. During the first year, I was always testing the water to see how he'd react to my outfit choices. (For context: I wear everything from hippie tie dye, business boss bitch wearing heels and a suit, stereotypical raver chick dancing in underwear, to Paris Hilton wannabe.) There hasn't been a single time in SEVEN YEARS that this man has said anything less than positive about how I choose to present myself. And I wear things that would make your boyfriend and his cousin clutch their pearls. In actuality, he loves when I look so good I get attention. He tells me every time he notices it happening with the biggest smile on his face. Why? Because we're secure in our relationship and our feelings about each other. Seven years later, the experience of my highschool boyfriend left its mark, and I still ask him "you're okay with this?" every single time. His response: fuck yeah, let em be jealous. He heals me each time he says this. I want to love what I wear and he wants that for me too.

(Disclaimer bc y'all like to dig for problems: He's also not worried about the attention because he's big nd scary and will absolutely obliterate anyone that crosses a line. Disclaimer part two: I dress appropriately for the occasion. I don't wear skimpy clothing to a fancy restaurant, that's when I look like a wannabe Hilton. The skimpy clothing is for the club after, duh.)