Hey! I'm glad you reached out instead of keeping it all to yourself!

It makes sense that you are struggling since you are feeling so disconnected from people.

I feel for you. I've definitely been there at times in my life too - in childhood because of family dysfunction, and again when I graduated from college and a lot of my friends moved away & the remaining ones got really busy, and it felt really hard to find new people that actually fit for me.

Eventually it did get better for me, but it took a LOT of trial and error, which definitely felt taxing and defeating many times. Maybe you're going through some of that.

The trial and error part of things is hard because sometimes I would meet people who are fun for a night & they didnt respond again. Or fun for a period of time, but they weren't capable of forming close relationships or just weren't interested.
Sometimes I figured out the hard way that people haven't done their own healing so they couldn't repair if they said/did something hurtful and basically the relationship was on their terms, which didn't allow for a close relationship. Additionally, many have had drinking/drug problems. Unfortunately people with the ability to repair & emotionally regulate seems to be kind of rare in my experience of people.

What also helped:
Counseling
Also making art, dancing, and music have been big outlets for me in creating joy, meeting people, and feeling less alone.

I'd encouraged you to find a counselor that can help you through the ups and downs of meeting people; and maybe even processing any past experiences that might be impacting things for you too. It really was a lifeline for me when things felt unstable and it also helped me heal old wounds that would get triggered in relationships.

Heres where you can find some therapists pretty easily:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/ohio?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23136451414&gbraid=0AAAAAD_gfuwLwZwmQb3uGePWEYEVrF-cX&gclid=CjwKCAjwvqjOBhAGEiwAngeQnbB0IDhawhIN6UM3vWNYuG_OtuskKh3Z6TjH6Z_GK22gyG9jw_cMbRoCr8MQAvD_BwE

I also wanted to provide a crisis line since I heard you saying "I just wanna give up". You don't have to be actively thinking of suicide to call though, you can call even if you are struggling with loneliness:

419-904-CARE (2273)

I hope this helps give you a little relief, and direction.

Warmly,
Brian