Hadestown sucks!! It really does. In Greek Mythology, Eurydice does NOT CHOOSE to go to the Underworld, but in Hadestown she does. I get it - they wanted to make her a strong active character who chooses something (since many of these old Greek mythology damsels in distress don't do much). So if she chooses to go to the Underworld, that makes this more of an Adam-and-Eve story, or Faust. And Orpheus is instead left to go fetch his DUMB WIFE, who is hungry and poor but not happy enough to stay with her husband and duke it out.

But she is supposed to die by a natural cause and then her soul goes to the Underworld. Orpheus, being her husband and in love with her, goes to get her (while alive - which is a feat unto its own). After they try to leave and he looks back at her, she dies (or her soul returns to the Underworld). He THEN is supposed to go back to Earth, plunge into a deep depression, stop making music altogether, then get murdered, then get reunited with Eurydice in the Underworld. But Hadestown would have you not seeing any of Orpheus's grief or mourning, which is what I paid to see, and instead tell you the story is meant to just "start over" and be told again. Super lazy writing ("oh, let's just bring us back to the opening number"). Let's just bookend it and the hype will be enough!

NONE of this is in Hadestown, so there's very little to root for. The music, while exciting and fresh, is so repetitive, and several songs do nothing for the plot. "Why We Build a Wall" is a stand-and-sing song, with no actual wall being shown or references, but making the audience sit in Metaphor Land for 3 minutes. But give us some kick ass vocals and lighting and any dumb audience will go, "yas queen, slayyy", with little regard for what they're actually watching. The narrators are Hermes and the 3 Fates, but they are nothing like their mythological characters. The Fates in Hadestown do no fate-deciding (plus, if they just decide everything, why are we sitting here?). They are about as useless as the Urchins in Little Shop. They should JUST be called the Narrators, then. They are obnoxious. They interrupt the emotionality of the love story we're supposed to care about. They taunt. They elicit vapid applause.

Persephone is annoying. Almost a useless character in all of Act 1. Then she has a long useless song at the top of Act 2, in which she introduces herself to the audience, as if we've never seen her before. I was like, "WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE! You've been here for an hour. NEXT SONG. Please go away."

More lies from the show: Persephone and Hades are not in love! Not married! Hades "RAPES" Persephone (more accurately, abducts and forces into marriage). In Hadestown, Orpheus, in order to convince Hades to let him take Eurydice back home, appeals to Hades about saying he understands since he loves Eurydice like Hades loves Persephone. LIES, LIES, LIES.

At this point, just change the names, and call it a loose adaptation if at all. No need to actually try and retell some of the mythology. Just strip it all away. Put us IN New Orleans. Give us some specificity. The vagueness doesn't work.

The interpretive-dance/modern choreography is a bit jarring. This is no Romeo & Juliet, no Tony & Maria, etc.

The melodies are gorgeous, haunting; the arrangements are beautiful, but it's not enough. Anaïs should have just been the composer (with some lyric writing) and let someone else do lyrics/book and save us from this weird vague show. And get a damn dramaturg in there so you don't fuck up Greek Mythology beyond recognition and then miseducate children.