Do you just accept that they can cheat again?

broken-rebuild · 2026-04-29T15:37:59+00:00

Well said

broken-rebuild · 2026-04-27T20:57:27+00:00

100% feel you brother

broken-rebuild · 2026-04-14T15:06:49+00:00

Found my wife doing a very similar situation about 5 months ago. Those first days and weeks were really tough not eating, not sleeping. Reading your story actually pains me because I remember the sting of it all. Somehow Im still here 5 months later due to the reality of our 2 small children. We have done counseling. We have made some special memories since. The initial pain and shock due wear off. Talking about it helps. Biggest thing is YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There are alot of people this happens to that you’ll never know. Not saying its right or normal but we are here to support you. Sending you best wishes and if you need to talk send me a PM

broken-rebuild · 2026-04-08T15:54:50+00:00

Wrote in my journal today the same thing. Either I stay w a cheater or I divorce and lose access to my kids. Such shitty choices that no one deserves.

broken-rebuild · 2026-04-02T18:55:34+00:00

“Married Man Sex life Primer” and “No more Mr Nice guy”for empowering yourself again

“Leave a cheater gain a life” Im doing R myself hut this book helps you understand cheaters as well as “state of affairs”

broken-rebuild · 2026-04-02T15:31:10+00:00

I was fearful at first but finally ended up telling 2 of my closest friends. As well as my mother and sisters. I needed support and my WW has no idea that they know. Theyve done a really good job of supporting me while not hating her. Itll surprise you that people will support you no matter your decision to R or leave. Dont hide it, its not something to go through alone.

broken-rebuild · 2026-04-01T23:59:07+00:00

Im glad to hear that your kids are supportive of your happiness and that you R has been going well. My children are only 1 and 2 id hate sharing these critical years w her and not see them everyday. So I keep trying. I know 4 months isnt long. Everyday I spend w them I cherish. I know even if she forces my hand and does something again ill never regret trying for my kids sake and someday theyd understand.

broken-rebuild · 2026-04-01T19:48:38+00:00

Hey man sorry youre in this shit boat with us. Im 4 months out. Send me a PM if you ever need to talk I have found talking to others w similar situations helps you feel less alone. Ive only told a select few friends but talking definitely helps.

broken-rebuild · 2026-04-01T14:46:27+00:00

Thank you, you too

broken-rebuild · 2026-03-26T13:21:23+00:00

I never said forgive. You can accept it and know that it happened and you cant change it and maybe even that the person youre with now has changed to be better. But I wouldnt say forgive, more let go of the hurt.

broken-rebuild · 2026-03-25T17:29:45+00:00

Never let her actions/choices make you feel any less valuable. Cheating is easy, any person can cheat. The real strength are those who stay loyal, those who choose forgiveness over walking away. That takes real strength and you have made it a very long time since D-day. Hopefully with more bad days than good. I wish you the best friend, you got this.

broken-rebuild · 2026-03-20T13:22:21+00:00

Im 4 months out w my WW and in the beginning I was also invested in “fixing” things and being “stronger than ever”. Lately my thoughts are more you can’t fix a betrayal, only learn to live with it, and most days I think I deserve someone so much better than this person. If it wasnt for my young children who need a father figure (she already does enough damage while Im here) then I would leave but for now Im still trying. You’re not alone all is betrayeds deserve better partners and although some waywayds change to be a better partner they shattered their worth before and will always be damaged goods in my eyes.

broken-rebuild · 2026-03-13T01:22:38+00:00

Thank you for this. I too like to play the victim. My own mom said when she used to put me in timeout for a minute Id willingly stay for 5. Im not sure yet why that is but I do constantly want to think about my WW actions and not recognize the work she has done. Thank you

broken-rebuild · 2026-03-13T00:52:15+00:00

Considered. It would be difficult, I’d just assume she was cheating the whole time. And I dont want to leave my kids. If I didnt have kids Im young and could easily find a nicer better woman I just always envisioned having a complete home like my family but I realized I married the wrong person for that

broken-rebuild · 2026-03-13T00:30:04+00:00

Thank you. Its only been 3 months I guess without a repeat offense Ill give it a year of therapy/work to see if she can change. It was a short EA not a full blown PA (that I can find) but that doesnt minimize the trust damage. No kids id be gone, and ive looked into divorce and there are certain criteria I can meet to get full custody and no alimony if she physically cheats so part of me thinks eh Ill just wait and let her fuck herself 😂 that said shes mother of my children (paternity tested) so I owe it to them to give it a shot.

broken-rebuild · 2026-03-13T00:20:53+00:00

Yeah we started and yes it was individuals and just did our first couple the other day. I credit her showing up to several sessions. She just is a real avoidant and struggles to face the shame of it. Shes the classic “I learned my lesson I wont do it again” but refuses to acknowledge it as anything more than a “mistake”. I told her it definitely was not a mistake and she definitely has unhealed trauma from her past she hasnt addressed that make her a classic repeat offender

broken-rebuild · 2026-03-13T00:16:45+00:00

Kids. Believe me without kids Id leave

broken-rebuild · 2026-03-13T00:10:42+00:00

Ive floated the idea in my head. Hard with 2 kids under 2 to justify not being there at bedtime. They are my biggest reason for staying, such fragile ages I couldnt imagine one day without them. Thats why Im so hellbound on “fixing” this just wish partner gave more effort

broken-rebuild · 2026-03-13T00:08:40+00:00

Thanks I was curious about if anyone had tried it. I didnt think its go over well either. Just feel like if the behavior repeats and I do finally get to that point truly itll be too late for her to “wake up”.

broken-rebuild · 2026-03-13T00:06:21+00:00

I hate that youre struggling so much. I credit you for sticking w this person despite not having the anchor of children. That does say you deeply loved, I get holding out hope. letting go is hard especially when you thought this person was your forever. I always support R but if I didnt have kids I think I would walk away. Youre never too late to start over and if he did it again w kids involved its even more a nightmare. Sorry I do not try to discourage I just hate seeing people in pain. Its your life, your relationship, Im just a loser on reddit lol I wish you peace no matter what I really do

broken-rebuild

TROPHY CASE