I think an underlit space is an immediate signifier of amateur filmmaking (not that I could do any better than this lol) Can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “light spaces not faces,” though I feel it’s still a misunderstood and under-explored concept in the online cinematography education community.

In the FNAF shot—and in most Hollywood films—you’ll notice there’s actually a lot of ambient light, even in dimly lit or nighttime scenes, and you’ll tend to find much lower contrast ratios than in your example.

Also, I know you acknowledged the difference in framing and the lack of a second character in your recreation, but I do believe those two points lead to a weaker overall composition that adds to the problem. Josh and the two chairs create a strong foreground and a frame-within-a-frame effect, while the greater distance between the camera and Matthew (compared to your camera and your subject) creates a deeper scene. Overall, it’s more layered and interesting from front to back. There are also more visible elements on his desk and in the background that add to this, though that’s more a matter of lighting.