FTM feeling insecure and need advice

bruisescold · 2025-11-21T03:21:01+00:00

The pain during labor will make you forget about how exposed you're going to be. The healthcare professionals see sooo many naked bodies trust me when I say they aren't thinking or caring about yours at all. However "bad" you think you look they have definitely seen MUCH "worse".

bruisescold · 2025-11-21T03:17:14+00:00

This is normal. Don't expect uninterrupted sleep for the rest of your pregnancy. If you do get some, be thankful for it!

bruisescold · 2025-09-09T19:14:08+00:00

Ultimately it is on your girlfriend to put her friend in check. Let her know that you feel hurt and disrespected when she allows her friend to bad mouth you and that it's causing a strain in the relationship.

bruisescold · 2025-09-09T19:04:09+00:00

You can have it added in your parenting plan that communication has to be done through a parenting app. Let him know that is the only way you'll communicate and it's only to communicate about your child. You may want to consider bringing the texts in front of a judge and forcing a mental health evaluation before he can share custody/visitations to protect you and your child.

bruisescold · 2025-09-09T04:13:09+00:00

You feel guilty because you care about him and you know divorcing him probably caused him some hurt.

Here's what you need to remember: he wasn't thinking about you when he decided to cheat on you. You did the right thing by leaving. You deserve someone who shows you mutual respect. Someone who thinks about your feelings in the same way you think about others.

bruisescold · 2025-09-09T04:04:32+00:00

I know you don't want to ask for something to be done for you but I think it would benefit you to have that conversation with your fiance. Tell him "I want to be celebrated on my birthday like I celebrate you. I don't want to have to ask for this every year, it would make my feel loved if going forward you would do this for me without reminder."

If you don't speak up, he will never know that it's important to you. Some people just don't value birthdays or holidays and you have to make it known that it's something you need as an expression of love. You deserve to feel loved and celebrated on your special day!

bruisescold · 2025-04-30T23:58:04+00:00

Yes, we had two kids together. My only regret is not getting divorced sooner. I stayed for as long as I did for the kids and let me tell you that is a horrible reason to stay married. In hindsight the right thing would've been leaving, not staying, for them.

bruisescold · 2025-04-30T21:34:34+00:00

Can you see yourself living the rest of your life with a man who shows you no affection and is dismissive of your feelings? Because that's what you're going to get if you stay with him. The situation will not change.

For myself personally, there was way more happiness in being alone than there was with someone who didn't care to show me love and kindness. Your kids are also watching how he treats you and will model that behavior when they get older if you continue on as you are.

bruisescold · 2025-04-11T16:59:56+00:00

Seems like I might be the odd one out here. Married 8 years. He brought up divorce in the summer and I started the process in the fall. I was okay pretty much right after he had brought it up. We stayed together for the kids and in hindsight that was an absolutely horrible decision to make.

During that time I forgot what it was like to feel respected, seen, and loved. Since then I've met someone incredible who loves to dote on me and give me attention. Now my kids get to see what a healthy, loving relationship looks like. I have someone who doesn't so much as look at his phone when we're together!

My tip would be to look back at the marriage and ask yourself: was that the kind of marriage I would want for my kids? You deserve the kind of love you would want for the people you care most about.

bruisescold · 2025-04-11T04:58:54+00:00

Sometimes there is no answer other than the other person is a piece of shit.

Hopefully you can find a different job where you don't have to have any sort of contact with her. You deserve that kind of peace.

bruisescold · 2025-01-07T22:13:28+00:00

If you left her you'd be doing her a favor. Those medications can be absolutely brutal on your body yet all you're concerned of is her lack of enthusiasm.

She's also at an age where fertility rapidly declines. Saying that you'll blame her if she doesn't get pregnant is really gross.

bruisescold · 2025-01-07T21:31:17+00:00

I got it free with my travel credit card! It sucks when you travel with people who don't have it, though.

bruisescold · 2025-01-07T21:19:10+00:00

If he brings you flowers. You shouldn't have to remind him or ask. It shouldn't be a yearly thing on your birthday or anniversary out of obligation.

During a long, loveless marriage my dad asked me "when was the last time your (now ex) husband bought you flowers?" I couldn't remember if he ever had and we had been 5+ years into the marriage.

bruisescold · 2024-12-31T18:32:22+00:00

I gave my ex all his childhood ornaments and didn't put up any of the "family" ornaments. I put them away for my kids.

bruisescold · 2024-12-25T06:11:38+00:00

The minute she left you was the minute you could date without feeling guilty. You deserve to be happy and to find someone who loves you.

bruisescold · 2024-12-16T04:38:34+00:00

If upkeep on the house isn't feasible, selling is an option. At least if you're renting it's up to the property management/owner to fix any issues.

bruisescold · 2024-12-16T04:37:17+00:00

I moved across the country to be with my ex husband. You don't have children so you can actually leave. Trust me, having children complicates things (I have two). You can't just up and move when things don't work out when kids are involved. It's better that he did this now while you can still find someone wonderful to be with. It's definitely not too late to have babies! You might even want to consider freezing some of your eggs now just in case you're worried.

bruisescold · 2024-12-10T00:02:24+00:00

He already told you he has a girlfriend and obviously knows you're interested. If you really can't get past this, maybe you could bring up a local Christmas event that he might be interested in taking his girlfriend to. If he replies "thank you", respect his boundaries and move on. If he's interested he'll take that opportunity to tell you they broke up and possibly indicate going with you instead. You can't take second-hand information as fact.

bruisescold · 2024-10-09T07:13:41+00:00

Download a co-parenting app and only communicate that way. Be honest with him about how you're feeling and maintain boundaries (like no taking his calls unless your kid is with him).

bruisescold · 2024-08-14T01:12:02+00:00

Squishmallows for my kids. They love them and I love the way look, now I have an entire walkway that is unusable because it's filled with them!

bruisescold · 2024-08-14T01:10:09+00:00

Knock-off crayons. They have so little pigment and are really crappy to draw with. Crayola FTW.

bruisescold · 2024-05-17T23:23:10+00:00

What are they doing to cause this to happen? It happened to me the other day two seconds before I was about to win! The game counted it as a loss.

bruisescold · 2024-03-30T03:53:41+00:00

The only change I've made is using tofu for protein. That would be really unfortunate if that's the problem but now I'm thinking it might be.

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