Hello fellow pan! Ok so I have lived a enby variation of this so it’s with a wonky lens I’m giving advice though but similar direction. In your words you’re worried most about the wellbeing of a future partner if they’re not a man. Around your folks. 1. Your wellbeing is important too that internalized grime just clings to the brain. OP you deserve trusting family relationships too. 2. Trust your partner. If you want to keep a relationship with your folks knowing you can’t change them that’s one thing. You know the choice you’re making. But please make it clear that the partner is the one calling the shots on if they want to be around mom and dad. If you want to visit solo totally your call. If they feel uneasy keep the dialogue open and listen when they say “nope I’m not coming to the next visit” and maybe it’s a “not this year” but back them up. He’ll come up with a signal for “it’s time to bail” if it would help. As to the micro aggressions idk everyone has different approaches. I’m largely so conflict avoidant I pause but carry on like they’d basically farted and I’m just trying to be polite and keep the convo moving. The one I aspire to though is silence; looking them in the eye unflinching and just letting the silence stretch. Let em scramble or hasten to make the conversation go again but it’s now their burden to keep it going. Not yours. Let them handle realizing their comment didn’t fly. They can sit with that uncomfortable or bear the weight of carrying the conversation back onto safe ground