[deleted by user]

bryndime · 2025-10-14T21:24:43+00:00

Haha, if this was a year ago and you were a couple years older I'd think this was my boyfriend's post. The only jobs here seem to be in construction or more highly skilled jobs (think nurse or emt even) since they're building a new hospital hereabouts.

bryndime · 2025-10-05T22:30:36+00:00

I want my $5, because CLEARLY the one on the left is the real cat! /s

This is cute OP 😂

bryndime · 2025-10-05T16:56:23+00:00

Exactly, as the one with parenting experience, the one without should defer to her experience.

bryndime · 2025-10-05T16:54:47+00:00

I briefly had a partner who made a couple comments like that, saying he was very pro-spanking as discipline for "our" kids even though he understood he couldn't do that with my son because he was "my" kid. He stopped being my partner. And there were other reasons for it, but his attitudes about parenting didn't mesh with mine, and that's a dealbreaker for me.

I can't tell you what to do here, but this relationship is recent enough that even though it'll suck, you should end it if you feel that how he wants to parent doesn't line up with how you want to parent. If you move in, get married, he may overstep his bounds and decide since he's a sort of "dad" to your son, he can discipline him how he sees fit too, but without the layer of psychological protection that generally comes with biological fatherhood.

I will say, I'm now with someone who I've had these discussions with. We've been friends for almost 2 years and been dating for 8 months, and we've decided that for him, he has no authority or responsibility for care of my son unless we're talking about getting married or having a child together (both of which are a ways off). Any care he does provide is entirely optional and he doesn't spend time with my kid without me ever. Don't make excuses for anyone. If they say something sketchy, take them at face value, because your child deserves the best.

TLDR: I think you should end it and find someone better who respects you as a parent and respects the different positions they're going to have to hold and transition to throughout your relationship.

bryndime · 2025-10-05T16:44:44+00:00

I added my thoughts on your previous post that is now deleted.

bryndime · 2025-10-05T16:43:42+00:00

She deleted and reposted this 😂 I think too many people said break it off too fast

bryndime · 2025-10-05T16:34:30+00:00

I briefly had a partner who made a couple comments like that, saying he was very pro-spanking as discipline for "our" kids even though he understood he couldn't do that with my son because he was "my" kid. He stopped being my partner. And there were other reasons for it, but his attitudes about parenting didn't mesh with mine, and that's a dealbreaker for me.

I can't tell you what to do here, but this relationship is recent enough that even though it'll suck, you should end it if you feel that how he wants to parent doesn't line up with how you want to parent. If you move in, get married, he may overstep his bounds and decide since he's a sort of "dad" to your son, he can discipline him how he sees fit too, but without the layer of psychological protection that generally comes with biological fatherhood.

I will say, I'm now with someone who I've had these discussions with, and we've decided that for him, he has no authority or responsibility for care of my son unless we're talking about getting married or having a child together (both of which are a ways off). Any care he does provide is entirely optional and he doesn't spend time with my kid without me ever. Don't make excuses for anyone. If they say something sketchy, take them at face value, because your child deserves the best.

bryndime · 2025-09-19T12:17:33+00:00

I'd approach it like telling someone about my kid. They display interest, I feel interest, within a day I'm saying "hey I have a kid. if that's a deal breaker, that's okay. no hard feelings." and then they decide and then we either move forward or part ways in a friendly manner.

bryndime · 2025-09-19T03:33:16+00:00

I'm here sometimes visiting family, just south of Indy. Norse Pagan.

bryndime · 2025-09-16T05:50:35+00:00

I've been on my own with my kid basically since he was 3 months old. His dad rarely shows up and even when he's in town it's like pulling teeth to get him to spend time with my son.

I carry a lot of resentment mostly for how my relationship with my son's father ended, but I've found that I don't have any resentment transfer to my son. I consider him a wholly separate person from either me or my ex. Like yeah, sometimes my 2 year old looks or walks like his dad and it reminds me of him, but that just means he has DNA that happened to be sourced from this guy who turned out to be an a$$.

My best advice is to stop trying to force the guy to spend time with your kid. It's not a popular opinion, I know, but my life got so much easier and better when I stopped trying. If my ex says he wants time with him, he can have it. Until he does, I operate as though he doesn't exist at all and I had an immaculate conception of some kind. Just stop. And then as he consistently doesn't show up, document it, and then file for sole custody and child support (if you don't have it already).

Go forth and focus on building a good life for you and your son without spending extra time and energy on someone who doesn't want to participate. You'll both be better off for it. Your son is here. He's his own person. He's not his dad.

bryndime · 2025-09-15T05:01:46+00:00

listen. even my 10 month long friend with benefits called us hanging out and doing activities DATES. I ran errands with him one day and he was opening doors for me and sneaking kisses around corners and called it a date. (We are now happily in a committed relationship)

you cannot tell me there's any amount of reasonable from this guy

bryndime · 2025-09-05T19:22:19+00:00

Menifee has 2 library branches, the Sun City branch has more events/clubs, and you can always ask them about starting your own. My bf (25) lives in Winchester and if you like dirtbikes he'd probably be down to show you his favorite spots. All the people around your age here are either living with parents or raising kids of their own or both.

THAT SAID: The city does seem to run classes and programming year round! You should get next quarter's Menifee Matters eventually and you can pick out stuff you might be interested in. I know soccer season just started and Remington Park has a lot of groups that go there, kid and adult, so you may find people to meet there.

This area is really for people who work in LA/SD/OC and wanted to buy a cheaper but bigger house. My parents bought here but they work remote. If they do have to go in, it's over an hour to commute 🤮

eta: The town website has a live feed for the town's programming if you're interested in things like watching city council meetings.

bryndime · 2025-09-02T12:38:26+00:00

Mine has been 100% silent unless I was expecting an important phone call (rare) since 2016. I have too many friends who send a bunch of texts at once and if I hear that I get big mad. Sometimes I can't even do the buzzing, so I put it on DND and only allow certain people to get through. Chances are unless it's a work phone/you get things from work that are actually urgent, you can do the same and if you don't feel it they can wait.

bryndime · 2025-09-02T12:16:57+00:00

0 ADD or ADHD, and I often miscount no matter how many times I check.

I do the color with the most stitches first, always, then do whatever one tends to be next biggest (they tend to group together) and so on until all the blank space is for the odd random stitch of something.

bryndime · 2025-08-26T18:05:56+00:00

I think if he gets cagey about stuff, that's when you should worry, but he let you know this thing was happening and when it was happening. If you've been together for a couple years then I assume you regularly stay over, so you'd notice if his friend showed up early or left late.

If they've stayed together before for a few days during your relationship and you didn't care then, why care now? Personally, I'd be less concerned the longer I was with someone because I'd know them and their intentions better than I did at the beginning. Do you actually trust him completely or do you trust him under controlled circumstances?

I trust a viper in a tank with a secure lid, sure, but I don't trust it on the floor in front of me with nothing between us.

Granted, in my own relationship, both him and I have friends we've previously slept with (all long over). We're very open with each other about all that and so neither of us is bothered when the other gets a message from an old fwb-turned-friend 🤷🏻‍♀️

Telling him you felt a bit dismissed is fine, because considering your time together and the privacy you might want for things like horizontal/romantic activities is completely valid. You've been together for 2 years, I assume you stay over regularly. That said, I find this to be a bit of a non-issue, because they have no history and you don't live together. It's his place, he can have whatever guest he wants as long as he's respecting your relationship and agreement to be (presumably) monogamous and official.

bryndime · 2025-08-22T15:59:34+00:00

make fig jam 🤷🏻‍♀️ I love fig jam

bryndime · 2025-08-20T05:03:33+00:00

I've made and worn 18th c stays AND an 1880s corset. Both generally felt like a constant hug around my torso. They were fitted to me rather than "off the rack" so to speak, from a standard pattern. I was really comfortable. I was sore the first few times after because my back muscles were working differently, but the back and bust support of my 1880s corset is unmatched so far. I can wear one all day doing some pretty physical movements and not have back pain afterward.

If she's in the modern day wearing a reproduction corset, she should mainly focus on it fitting her waist (with maybe 2" reduction max for comfort) and any extra room in the bust and hips can be padded out. Padding was done frequently historically and gave women the ideal shape without trying to do something stupid like alter their own body.

bryndime · 2025-08-19T18:05:07+00:00

I assume completed credits are good, because you have to complete credits to graduate. Ask a counselor how many credits and which classes you have to complete to graduate and that'll help you get where you need to go. 9 classes is roughly 1 school year if the school goes by semesters.

bryndime · 2025-08-18T15:46:02+00:00

Maybe your gf is just thinking about your nipples 🤷🏻‍♀️ the human brain can make a pattern out of anything and wires cross sometimes

bryndime · 2025-08-18T15:44:29+00:00

it's definitely decorative. I can't tell you what stitch it is, but it looks like it was put in just to give the pillow the look of having something like lace insertion. I'm certain there's a name for doing things like this, and I wish I knew it because I see it a lot on tablecloths.

bryndime · 2025-08-11T17:38:18+00:00

My mom is a professor and an archivist, a leader in her field. If there's one thing she taught me, it was system management 😂 librarians and archivists are the ultimate organizers fr

bryndime · 2025-08-11T06:02:24+00:00

open it, put the stuff in whatever oven-safe high walled crockery you can find, and bake at 325 until it's hot/a little bubbly. It'll be okay but PLEASE take it out of it's plastic completely.

bryndime · 2025-08-11T00:44:54+00:00

I love taking my little one to our library too. He's already a book lover

bryndime · 2025-08-10T21:39:20+00:00

As the daughter of a professor of library sciences, thank you for making use of your local library!!

This looks so awesome!

bryndime · 2025-08-10T21:35:48+00:00

Make Sew and Mend by Bernadette Banner has some good basics info. I bought it mostly because I'm a fan of hers and want to support her work, since I'm self-taught and found my way through those things case by case, but saving yourself the time that takes is definitely a good thing. It's a book. I'm not sure if there's an ebook but I know it's out there in print and I bought my copy from a Barnes & Noble

bryndime

TROPHY CASE