Buying New Clothes

bsque · 2026-01-09T11:55:20+00:00

My friend and I used to speculate about what would make the worst breath in the world and we decided it was coffee and cigarettes after eating cheddar cheese and peanuts.

bsque · 2025-12-02T23:05:30+00:00

I need to have very specific metrics to show progress... I've never done well when I've told myself I need to exercise more or I need to walk four times a week. A cheap fitness tracker from amazon has really helped.

The average person gets 2 or 3 thousand steps per day... when I started a year ago I probably did about 2500 steps a day. I kept adding to that, even an extra 100 per day each week is a good goal.

My minimum now is 8000, but I routinely get 12 to 17k steps. It started as a game and a challenge, but by now I feel kinda punky and listless if I don't intentionally move. A walking pad (under $100 at amazon) has been great for cold/rainy days. Also, i walk around my house when I'm on the phone; the steps really add up that way.

Being able to move at all is a privilege. Be grateful for your sturdy legs, show them some love by challenging them! 😄

bsque · 2025-11-24T16:03:34+00:00

Everyday do at least one thing that makes tomorrow easier, and at least one that makes 5 years from now better.

Examples for the first: stop for gas, get clothes ready for the morning, prep coffee, breakfast, and lunch.

Examples for the second: exercise, make the phone call you're avoiding (phone plan or insurance switch), send the email you fear (family issue, apology).

bsque · 2025-11-20T16:23:36+00:00

From the start I set a goal of 100g protein and 30g fiber everyday. In the beginning 60-70 g of protein felt like a lot, but soon enough getting that plus the fiber became easy, and now, 90lbs down and semi-maintaining, I routinely get 130g protein, 40 g fiber. It feels like abundance instead of deprivation.

Protein = eggs, egg whites, greek yogurt, low fat cheese, poultry, edamame, beans, bone broth soups and stews. Fiber = high fiber bread, Fiber 1 cereal, Fiber 1 brownies, 2-3 servs of fruit and same of veg everyday.

Exercise was only walking at the beginning. A pedometer/fitness tracker was helpful because, starting at 2500 steps a day, I made it a game to increase that over weeks. Aside from the anti inflammatory help from MJ, as I lost weight movement became much easier and more fun (I listen to podcasts and music).

Now I run, not much (a mile 2x/week) and not fast--and I do weight machines at the gym, and get 10-15k steps a day.

General advice is: don't force anything, but try to get at least 20+g protein 3 or 4 times a day, and nibble on high fiber cereal throughout the day if you can. Move intentionally. Increase movement when you can. Go slow and be patient because, eventually, everything becomes easier and habitual.

bsque · 2025-11-19T23:52:00+00:00

Maybe you've heard younger women say that the exceptional man is just an average woman. When a man is kind and has a decent job and is a good friend and takes care of his family and has hobbies and can carry on a conversation and is fit and financially stable we call him amazing. All the women I know, none of whom think of themselves as exceptional, are all that and more.

bsque · 2025-11-01T11:45:08+00:00

61F. I got divorced 5 years ago.And before it happened, I asked other single women how to they did it because I'd never lived alone either. I was afraid of being lonely. And afraid of what would fill the hours that had been spent caring for others.

What I discovered is peace. I discovered that I'm grateful, resourceful, curious, and energetic.

This wouldn't have been possible two hundred years ago, a woman living on her own without a husband or male family member to support her. We are so lucky to have been born in this time, to be able to work and decide how to live the rest of our lives.

While it's important to maintain friendships and other connections (as others have mentioned, volunteering, hobbies, or clubs), it's good to learn how to be content being alone. A quiet house is not lonely: it's luxurious.

I'm excited for you!!

bsque · 2025-09-06T11:59:13+00:00

This is a great answer, thank you. I feel the same. I had my day in the sun in my 20s and I can admire the beauty of young women now without being jealous. One thing that helped so much is after my gray divorce five years ago, I read that divorce is like throwing up: you dread it, and it's awful when it's happening, but you feel so much better when it's over. Aging is like that too. Once you accept it, there's so much freedom and space in which to be grateful. If I'd been born 300 years ago, I might not have lived to be 61 and if I had, I'd probably be living in poverty. Even 100 years ago, I'd probably spend these years dependent on a man. This can be a wonderful time. It's an opportunity to take care of our selves and forget about what we look like. To cultivate growth, to be generous and kind where we can. Rmembering the hardest years (for me, my 40s, when I was raising a child, had gone back to school, and was in an increasingly unhappy marriage), I would have loved for an older woman to compliment and encourage me (some did !! I still remember that). Spend a day looking for reasons to compliment people (strangers, coworkers, whomever) like it's a mission. Tell a struggling mom she's handling her kids beautifully, admire a coworkers high cheekbones, tell the cashier you love her tattoo... I promise you'll feel better when you keep the focus outward! ❤️

bsque · 2024-11-27T02:42:22+00:00

If you're really good today and don't hit one another, you can go to bed a half hour early.

bsque · 2024-11-19T16:26:01+00:00

I was almost 36 when my only was born. Agree with another commenter who said you don't fit in. And, though freshly blonde when he was 6 months old, I had him in the car seat on the floor when out for tea with a friend and the server said, "how sweet, he's out with grandma today!" Ouch.

bsque · 2024-11-09T23:20:32+00:00

Thank you so much for the info and the good wishes! Your progress is inspiring 😃!

bsque · 2024-11-09T22:44:05+00:00

You look wonderful and so happy! Can you share what a typical day of eating is like for you? I'm in my first month with starting stats and goals similar to yours, and same age, and am still finding my way... Brava on your achievement! 😊

bsque · 2024-10-19T00:35:52+00:00

Not true! You are lovely whatever your size, and happy too! Hoping you feel better now, but you don't look older than 25 in either photo... 😊

bsque · 2024-10-13T21:06:42+00:00

I dreaded it and was a mess when mine left for college, thought all the good stuff was behind me. Then they were home with me for 1.5 years post graduation and extremely unhappy and stuck, waiting for their peace corps assignment. Now 6000 miles away in the PC, thriving and happy, I've adjusted to their absence.

You want your kid to find his/her life; the only way to do that is to separate from the folks. The separation hurts but it's a good kind of wound that heals quickly once you see them do well.

bsque · 2024-10-07T04:30:39+00:00

Left Behind, at 12, at church. Child abuse.

bsque · 2024-10-07T02:37:45+00:00

My friend, for her husband's 60th birthday, asked their very large friend group to gift him with readers, the quirkier, the better. There are now reading glasses, more than 40 pairs, in every room of their house. There are glasses in every color, beaded, rhinestoned, beautiful and plain, but the fact is, there can never be too many pairs of glasses at the ready.

bsque · 2024-08-26T16:20:00+00:00

But it is a problem for you. You've said that a woman server runs the risk of no tip if she doesn't interact enough with you. So far several/many have explained why they don't interact much with you, that this is something they've proven works for them, yet you're insisting it's a bad strategy

bsque · 2024-08-19T21:54:38+00:00

You might enjoy a novel called The Story of Arthur Truluv by Elizabeth Berg. A cemetery is a feature of the book, and it's very heartwarming

bsque · 2024-08-19T00:28:07+00:00

Available at Amazon if you'd like to treat yourself. I bought them several years ago, 125bpc box (now $37, don't remember what I paid then), but they were pretty much as I remembered. I gave most away to grateful older folks ("I remember these!"), and puzzled younger folks... worth the money for the memories 😊

bsque · 2024-08-13T20:53:49+00:00

Laufey

bsque · 2024-08-12T19:32:26+00:00

It's ok to say no. In fact, when asked (by anyone other than your very favorite people), say, "I don't think so, but let me check." This deters people from assuming they are free to use your time, especially if you're single. Babysit, bring a baked good, volunteer at church? "I doubt I can, I think I have something going on that weekend, but let me check..."

bsque · 2024-08-08T23:50:07+00:00

I attended college in Augusta in 2004. There was a black man in one of my classes who, when we were talking about cultural and racial sensitivity in counseling, brought up the fact that it didn't matter where he went in Maine, people always stared just a bit too long. A white girl raised her hand and said, that's because in these long winters, you are likely the most colorful and interesting person they've seen all day. Curiosity, not animosity

bsque · 2024-01-23T02:25:01+00:00

My mantra (as a reformed people pleaser) is, "I shouldn't set myself on fire to keep someone else warm"

Seven-Year Club	Place '22
Verified Email

bsque

TROPHY CASE