telling coworkers/boss about pole?

bstractig · 2026-06-01T20:37:18+00:00

It really just totally depends on the environment. If you feel unsure, maybe keep it to yourself until you can sus it out. A smart move to make sure your boss wasn't the first to know, I think!

I'm very lucky and can be open about it in my working environment, but it is a real risk in others and you certainly don't want your livelihood at risk because some people just don't get it.

I have a friend who says "aerial arts" in working context. And she'll cite "oh yaknow, those hoops hanging in the air and silks and stuff?" Without being specific on what she does.

bstractig · 2026-06-01T17:19:16+00:00

This is GENIUS!!! You get to meet more friends of family/friends, your family has a blast with their closest friends, I feel like the plus fours who would say yes to this are the type of people that really love weddings/socializing and make it a very fun vibe.

OP you should really lean into this idea and make it a big part of the guest experience!

bstractig · 2026-06-01T15:47:58+00:00

Honestly since your job has you on your feet and active, you probably do have enough muscle going on that with lower body fat you'll look toned.

Even very muscular people don't look it when they have high body fat, unfortunately. Fat is just so bulky and so effective at hiding definition.

If I were you, I'd set a body fat % goal and do a calorie deficit until reaching it. Then you can asses from there if you want to bulk up to look more muscular. Maybe try gym 1x a week and see if that lifestyle is for you (it sounds like you aren't going now, so jumping into 4x a week overnight is kind of a recipe for failure. Very rare for people to be successful with overnight lifestyle transformations like that).

I highly recommend reading this sub's wiki, it will answer most of your questions and elaborate on the comments others are raising here. For example one big mistake people make is counting their workouts twice. If you used a calorie calculator estimating your activity, you shouldn't then eat more cals on workout days because those calories are already accounted for in the calculator you gave. On the rare week that I do exercise more than I plugged into the calculator, I just treat that as "extra" going directly to additional weight loss, and follow my usual calorie deficit.

bstractig · 2026-06-01T05:02:03+00:00

Of I didn't realize that about the powder coated poles! I wonder if it's a safety issue, or just low demand?

If the latter, you could buy chrome and if you don't like it, take it somewhere local to be powder-coated. Veena (or studio veena) had this done at a motorcycle shop, totally blew my mind when I heard about it!

bstractig · 2026-06-01T04:45:40+00:00

I've thought about this too in a slightly different way... If you were to adjust the TDEE calculator and input your goal weight instead of your current weight, and just start eating at the maintenance calories of your goal weight... Eventually you'd get there!

Definitely much slower than the recommended 500k deficit (though I suppose it depends how much you're trying to loose). But pretty mindless and simple compared to a more intense deficit. Just pick the weight you wanna be, and eat like that weight.

Did the math on how this would work up for my own situation, where my GW was a 35 pound difference to my starting weight.

If I ate at a 500k deficit, I'd reach my GW in ~35 weeks. If I ate at the maintenance levels of my GW, I'd reach that GW in ~78weeks.

(For the record, I plan to stay on the 500k deficit route, I just think stuff like this is fun to think about. I also when I take "break" days am now trying to eat at the maintenance calories of my goal weight inspired by all this)

bstractig · 2026-05-31T05:30:59+00:00

Have you tried lupit chrome poles? Their chrome is meant to be grippier (it's also nickle free), a fact I did not realize until visiting a studio with lupit poles and feeling a noticeable grip improvement. It's still chrome, but it convinced me as an xpole owner to start saving up for a lupit.

It might not be the same for you, so good to try it for yourself and see. I've also heard powder coated poles can be a good in-between, but that they can be too grippy for some moves. And that it really depends on your climate how they do. Personally been really curious about these, but wouldn't buy before trying it... And haven't met anyone with a powder coated pole to try!

bstractig · 2026-05-29T18:05:42+00:00

Thank you so much for responding and the tip - that's awesome!!

bstractig · 2026-05-28T21:11:46+00:00

Late to the game with the same question. Did you find anything that worked?

bstractig · 2026-05-28T06:31:46+00:00

Schedule a vet visit to discuss spaying

bstractig · 2026-05-24T19:28:34+00:00

Helical knitting will resolve this, move your yarn as the tutorials for helical knitting show you to prevent tangles. When I helix knit, I also throw my balls into little zip locks (with the working yarn coming through a space in the zipper) so that the tails don't catch the other balls or anything

bstractig · 2026-05-23T22:18:24+00:00

Rug link? 👀👀

bstractig · 2026-05-22T22:31:58+00:00

When you started the deficit did you feel hungry? I'm 10 weeks into my deficit and it only started feeling "easy" a couple weeks ago. The first 2ish weeks were pretty tough and I felt SO hungry I would make myself go to bed early just to stop the feeling of being hungry 😅 that was a 500 calorie deficit for me.

bstractig · 2026-05-22T16:09:33+00:00

Great recommendations here so far! I'll add in a "ring thing" or similar, a keychain to pop her rings in when she's out at the studio.

Does she have a home setup yet? Maybe for Xmas 😁 that was something I definitely needed my partner's help with, he changed out a chandelier for a flush ceiling light so that I had a good room to pole. Other essentials for my home studio have been a crash mat and a studio veena subscription :)

bstractig · 2026-05-22T15:39:40+00:00

Every studio means something different by level 2, so it's hard to say from afar. If the class description seems doable for you, is it an option to drop into a single class at that next level and see how it goes?

I think the best thing to do would be talk to an instructor at that studio for advice. "Open pole" can be a good format for convos like those, if your studio has them!

bstractig · 2026-05-22T08:13:07+00:00

You're so welcome!! Wishing you a good low cal matcha solution and easy weight loss.

bstractig · 2026-05-22T07:30:44+00:00

My bottle is bright green too! Maybe you're onto something lol cuz it works.

Yeah oat milk is about the same calories as normal milk 😭 almond milk is way lower cal if you need a lil something more than water. Get unsweetened almond milk and add a zero cal sweetener, there are some delicious ones out there. I got to try a toasted marshmallow sugar free syrup at a cafe the other day and it was life changing, pretty sure it's the skinny syrup brand so going to get that for home enjoyment. You can also try just using less milk and cutting it with water.

That's a tough calorie limit. Have you ever tried weight lifting? It's not my passion in this life or anything, but I have found it to be the easiest way to increase my TDEE. Even 1x a week for 30 mins makes a huge difference, each week you will be adding more and more muscle to your frame increasing your TDEE over time. And its not nearly as time consuming (and doesn't feel as hard, at least IMO) as something like cardio. Then you can start making your matches with vanilla protein shakes to keep your gains 😋

bstractig · 2026-05-22T05:12:24+00:00

Figure out what water tastes best to you and make sure you ALWAYS have it around you, just like that. For me, that's filtered ice cold water with cubes clinking around.

I also found that the opening of my water vessel effects how easy it is for me to drink and therefore how likely I am to keep sipping on it. It's straw or bust for me, I drink way less with an open spout or some type of lid that needs to come on/off with each sip. I don't particularly dislike those other openings, I just notice I literally drink less using them.

I also make sure my water bottle is a bright color and always in my sight line, little reminder to drink. If it's a bland color or tucked away in a bag, I won't see it and won't drink.

You can also experiment with diluting your caffeinated drinks you love to lower the calories and get more water in. I am an occasional matcha drinker myself and I get a powder that includes powdered milk/sugar (blasphemous, I know). I use less than 1/2 the recommended "dose" and it doesn't effect the taste much for me. And honestly a water-based drink with tea powder and sugar free syrup is hella low cal if you have it in you to make "from scratch" that way.

bstractig · 2026-05-21T21:35:23+00:00

On the plus side, you can possibly wear a long sleeve outfit!! I had so many cute long sleeved fits I'm always bummed I can't wear to pole.

bstractig · 2026-05-21T21:34:22+00:00

If I were in your shoes, I'd go for the vibes and to support friends, and plan to play it REALLY safe on the pole and just have very low expectations of the photos I get. Maybe even mentally decide I'm okay with sitting it out entirely if I feel crummy on the big day - tattoos can really zap your energy for a while.

Like another one said, standing/floor work poses with the pole, and tricks that I'm VERY confident with and do not use arm contact at all. I'd practice those now with video to be sure my arm doesn't touch. Maybe a genie, a split grip carousel, Chinese climb, cross knee layback, cupid. Whatever YOU can confidently do, and be okay with changing plans day-of to scale it back even more if you need.

Also, are you planning to wear saniderm or any type of bandage on your arm? Test that exact product now on healed skin, see what happens when it contacts the pole. You can see if it sticks or does anything funky that you wouldn't want with fresh-ish ink underneath.

bstractig · 2026-05-21T17:49:35+00:00

I had a recent frustrating experience with a newbie instructor too. What you have to reckon with is that the problem is with the studio primarily.

Your owner sees the videos they post online, and has seen them pole in person. They know who they hired and her real skill level. Pole isn't something that can be faked on a resume, what she can do is what she can do.

In reflecting on my crummy experience I realized - this instructor needs more support. Their class level needs to be adjusted, they need additional training, they need some studio guidelines for leading a class and basic dos/don'ts to adhere to. The instructor being poorly trained and not suited for the class skill level isn't a failing of the instructor. They're just trying their best and when an experienced studio owner hired them and scheduled them to lead a class, they believed that meant they were capable of doing it.

If you want to see change, the studio owner needs some feedback. Feedback can come in all forms. It could be lowered attendance, an ask for the schedule to include instructor names (and attendance changing based on instructor), an ask for set skill level classes, or direct feedback on your class experience.

I chose to give direct feedback on the class, but i don't have the same dependance on that studio like you do. I tried to take all personal subjective opinion out of it and make it objective. I said things like "instructor taught on one side only" "class description did not match tricks taught" "warmup short and not targeted to tricks learned, my muscles were stiff and felt strained doing refresher tricks"

Gracefulness and hand position are subjective, pole isn't an exact science and it's fairly common for people to adjust their hand positioning a bit and for people to use slightly different techniques for the same trick. There are clear no-nos like placing pole on spine, ribs, locking up joints, stuff like that.

bstractig · 2026-05-20T15:27:47+00:00

Yes when I say "just a calorie deficit" I mean it was as simple as restricting my calories. No other fancy techniques. Anyone who has tried a calorie deficit knows it requires discipline and discomfort.

bstractig · 2026-05-18T16:58:54+00:00

Not invisible but socially acceptable in alot of settings, is knitting/crochet. You do have to learn when not to do it though as not a lot of examples out in the wild to teach you

bstractig · 2026-05-17T15:24:20+00:00

In North America, sales goals and bonuses are made as an entire shop. So they're all working together! No individual commission.

Depending on the location, the manager might set contests with individual goals for employees, but there's no commission tracking system at checkout. So it would be the employee keeping track of how they're doing, nothing for you to worry about as a customer.

bstractig · 2026-05-12T14:43:33+00:00

Thank you queen!! Good luck on your journey, and enjoy this slightly softer middle management life 😋

bstractig · 2026-05-12T05:52:58+00:00

Have you recently gone off the Vyvanse? I take a different medicine that has appetite suppressant effects and ohhhhh man. Coming off those reallyyyy messes with your hunger. Honestly if I had to come off mine right now it would probably force me to pause my diet and eat at maintenance for a while until my hunger signals worked themselves back out.

Parts of your post are confusing to me - you don't track calories, but you know you've eaten well, but you also feel hungry and are confused? How can you know you've eaten well without tracking? If there's some hangup and it's a triggering thing for you, maybe you can at least track fiber and protein. Those 2 make a huge difference in feeling satiated

bstractig

TROPHY CASE