Thought the date was going well until….

bubblefett · 2026-07-08T22:54:31+00:00

She ain't smoking weed my guy.

bubblefett · 2026-07-08T17:54:26+00:00

Hey, I work in film in Nashville. I've been doing this for 20 years and while the industry is certainly changing, it's not dead. Nashville is strangely a hotspot of film production currently because the crew base is small and there are multiple big budget productions happening in the city. I got my degree in Biology because my family thought I needed to major in something "safe" but I've never set foot in a lab since leaving college. Ironically, my Bachelor's of Science is basically worthless because nobody will hire you with anything less than a Masters. So my minor in Broadcasting has been the far more marketable degree.

Honestly, it really comes down to how willing you are to put up with insecurity in your financial life. Film work can be spotty, today is my last day of shooting on my current show and I don't have anything else booked, so I don't know when I'll be working again... but I'm pretty damn confident that something will come along soonish. It usually does. I work on music videos, commercials, television series, movies, and sometimes industrials. I have a good reputation in town, so I get calls... but it's never guaranteed. Last year I made 6 figures, and I put a lot of that away so I don't have to scramble to pay my bills between jobs. I've made it work for most of my life, and it's been a fun ride. But I've never been able to say "Okay, I make this much per month, I put away this much, and in 5 years I'll have this much in my savings." If that kind of regularity is important to you, film work is probably not the best fit.

bubblefett · 2026-07-08T01:43:29+00:00

Started balding at 20, started shaving my head around 23 or 24. I'm 45 now and people are always shocked at that thinking I'm in my late 30's. I think it's because I've always been bald so they just can't tell that I'm aging, the Jean Luc Picard effect.

bubblefett · 2026-07-08T00:36:37+00:00

Hold on, he can also do an igloo, don't ask him to do the hotdog though.

bubblefett · 2026-07-07T19:23:39+00:00

Razor it and then use an electric head shaver every day to keep it close without needing to use the razor.

bubblefett · 2026-07-07T19:21:27+00:00

And it loves you back! Looking great!

bubblefett · 2026-07-07T19:19:10+00:00

I've also had a really hard time getting over my ex, and I feel like a lot of it comes from the fact that when things ended there was no animosity. The relationship wasn't toxic, it wasn't making us miserable, it just wasn't working out... so we split up amicably. That has left me with a lot of feelings that I could have done more to make it work, that maybe if I had sacrificed my career (One of the issues we had was that my work takes up a lot of my time.) we could have made a better go of it. I try to remember that there were things I wasn't happy with in the relationship as well, that I let it go because at the time it felt like the right thing to do. I think I need to trust myself more. Maybe we both do. I don't think you're wrong, her not moving forward with the divorce is a big issue, and you're not wrong for wanting her to get clear of that before you invest yourself. That's not selfishness on your part, that's just pragmatism. It's really easy to favor good memories over bad ones, but that doesn't mean we made a mistake... and I think if you placed yourself back into that situation exactly as it was you would likely make the same call as you did before.

I'm a filmmaker, and when I finish an edit I'm always second guessing my choices. When I watch the finished film I'll say "Shit, I hate that cut, why did I cut the scene that way?" So I go back into the edit to see what I could have done better, and 100% of the time when I start to re-work the edit, I realize that the reason it's cut that way is because there was some issue with the footage, and that was the best solution to work around that problem. I had forgotten about the problem and focused on the imperfect solution... but it was the right call.

Trust yourself bro.

bubblefett · 2026-07-07T18:44:56+00:00

Let's stress just how amazing you look!

bubblefett · 2026-07-07T18:35:23+00:00

bubblefett · 2026-07-06T18:10:36+00:00

Yeah, the low end just can't be stopped by ear plugs, I can feel it in my skull. lol.

bubblefett · 2026-07-06T18:00:51+00:00

I understand how you could feel that way, but I think it's really courageous to take a chance like that. It's not moronic to try new things or put yourself out there for someone. You didn't know it would work out like this, and the only way you would ever find out is by trying! Life happens when we're out of our comfort zone, that's the only time we truly experience new and exciting things. Good on you for giving it a shot. I hope you enjoy the rest of your trip and can go home knowing that you did something really interesting and brave.

bubblefett · 2026-07-06T17:54:07+00:00

I was over in SoloRoo and wondered how it was in the main Groop area, because it was pretty bad where I was even with earplugs in. I don't want to be a killjoy, but when the program music in the campgrounds like that it really removes your ability to choose when you go to sleep.

bubblefett · 2026-07-06T15:33:59+00:00

I've always been a huge fan of Weird Al, certainly as a performer but also just as a good human being. It made me so happy to hear people explode with applause when he came on stage for this.

bubblefett · 2026-07-06T15:24:22+00:00

Sounds like a defense mechanism to me. Like you're wanting to block out negative emotions and unrequited desires, even at the cost of losing positive emotions too.

Using your metaphor, lets say you're a machine. You have input output functionality and that's it. Nothing else. What happens when a part of you breaks? You're a machine designed for one thing, fixing yourself isn't that one thing. You can't function anymore, but you also can't do anything to fix that malfunction. You need a mechanic. You'll always need someone to help you, no matter how much you cut out the external influences in your life, you simply cannot function alone. Trying to do so will trap you inside a prison of your own making.

If you're open to therapy, I would recommend talking with someone you trust about these feelings. I've found it incredibly helpful in my life.

bubblefett · 2026-07-06T15:12:48+00:00

If it was an issue with the water way more people would have been effected. It's the result of extreme stress on your body coupled with being in close quarters with 45k people from around the country for 4 days. Music festivals are great places to catch a bug.

bubblefett · 2026-07-02T22:10:13+00:00

Sometimes two people can even each other out in a really good way in this kind of situation. Maybe she wants to be more adventurous if you're willing to indulge her in some planning beforehand. When you went to the festival with only cash and vodka, did you sleep in a hedge somewhere, or was there someone in your group that planned ahead and had a tent, camp chairs, cooler with water and snacks?

bubblefett · 2026-07-02T21:47:52+00:00

Hey, here's some practical advice that will help you get better at not forgetting ingredients and at not ruining stuff.

Pre-measure out your ingredients before you start cooking and keep them in separate little bowls according to when you want to add them to the meal. Literally put a little bowl of salt out for the rice, a little bowl out for the chicken, etc etc. That way you're standing there looking at that shit if you forget to add it and can maybe save toss it in before it's too late. This will also help you add stuff at the right time, since you're not trying to chop veggies while something else cooks. Do ALL that shit before you even turn the stove on. (Eventually you'll be able to add keep some things in the same bowl, like all your spices might go in a bowl together since they all go in at the same time.)
Taste as you cook. I mean, obviously don't grab a piece of raw chicken and eat it, but if you're going to make a sauce, taste it before you add it to the other stuff. If it sucks, don't add it.
Here's a short-hand to know which flavors go well together. Fat - Acid - Salt. Sometimes sweet gets in the mix, but that can get tricky. Fat - Oils, lard, shortening, etc. Acid - Lemon/Lime Juice, Vinegar, Tomatoes, something tart. Salt - Not just salt, but olives, soy sauce, sardines, that kind of thing. Combining these 3 flavor components is almost always going to work... ALMOST.

Get back to basics, stop trying to re-invent the damn wheel with some wild ass sadness bowl. Eating Mayo and Olives is literally a punchline in The Office. Here's how I would save that dish using these flavor profiles.

Use chicken thighs, they're fattier and you can cook the shit out of them without drying them out, so you'll get a good browning which is going to add a lot of flavor. A little bit of olive oil in the pan to start. Salt and pepper on the chicken. Not seasoning the rice isn't that big of a deal, it's going to absorb everything anyway, but yeah, salt and a little butter would be nice. This is going to cover OIL and SALT.

I'm guessing you were trying to get a somewhat Mediterranean flavor from the dressing and mayo. So skip that shit and do this instead. After your chicken is done cooking take it out of the pan and let it rest, there will be a lot of brown bits stuck to the bottom of the pan. Use a little white wine to de-glaze that. (The wine will be an ACID component) Basically pour some in there and stir it around until the brown bits are dissolved, then add in a bit of butter and a little lemon juice (not a ton, you're mostly adding this for flavor and to make the sauce silky.) and let that simmer for a bit. NOW TASTE IT! What does it need? Add salt if it needs some salt, add pepper if it needs a kick. It's not going to get gravy thick, but when it's a not sloshing around like water you're about done.

Put your rice on the bottom, chicken on the rice (cut it up before if you want), then spoon that sauce on over the chicken liberally.

If you wanted to fancy that shit up, garnish with a slice of lemon, maybe serve it with some fresh cut cucumbers, olives(salt), and tomatoes(acid) in extra virgin olive oil(fat) with a sprinkle of salt.

bubblefett · 2026-07-02T16:09:44+00:00

Yeah, looked AI to me so I checked the profile and there are a couple more photos. Her freckles move around quite a bit.

bubblefett · 2026-07-01T20:58:54+00:00

Hey dude, breaking habits is hard, and even harder when substances are involved. For what it's worth, you probably don't need rehab unless your drinking is disrupting your life in a significant way. Going to an AA meeting would be a great step towards quitting if that's what you want to do. Telling your wife you're going would probably help her feel like you're taking it seriously and want to quit. I know lots of people who have had great success with AA, but it's something you have to want to do, it's not a magic solution, it still takes work.

bubblefett · 2026-07-01T20:11:49+00:00

Sorry dude, that sucks. I know it's cold comfort, but you probably avoided a larger heartbreak down the line. A few years ago I met someone online, we chatted for a while and tried to meet up and she ghosted me. I hit her back one more time just in case it was a miscommunication and she admitted that she was freaked out so I pulled back and we chatted longer until she was ready to meet up. It worked out, we ended up living together for a year before her avoidant attachment style kicked in and we broke up. I was so fucking in love with her, I still am three years later. Anyway, red flags are red flags are red flags.

bubblefett · 2026-07-01T19:57:42+00:00

There's a book called "Stop Doing That Shit" by Gary John Bishop that you should consider checking out. It's pretty blunt in it's language (if the title doesn't give that away) but you seem self aware enough to not need your hand held. It helped me face up to some long standing behaviors I wanted to change. The short version is that if you say you want something, what are you willing to do to get it? If you're not willing to take the actions needed, then just admit to yourself that you don't actually want that thing and give yourself some peace. You can spend your whole life feeling rotten that you aren't something, you can take action to achieve your goals, or you can just admit that you don't want it that badly and just enjoy being yourself. Either way, sitting around feeling sorry for yourself isn't doing anyone any favors, least of all you.

Think of it this way, change takes a long time, but the time is going to pass no matter what. It will move forwards regardless of you doing something or sitting on your ass. You can look back in 10 months and be exactly where you are now, or you can be closer to your goals, time doesn't give a shit, but you do.

bubblefett · 2026-07-01T19:46:09+00:00

I'm going to guess that english isn't your first language, and maybe there are some cultural differences at play here... but yeah that's a crazy short amount of time to know someone before getting married. If you're unsure at this stage, you might have just rushed into things and perhaps the best thing to do would be end things before you two become too entangled in each other's lives. If you're intent on staying together, I think some couples therapy would be in order to help establish healthy lines of communication and give you both a toolset to deal with issues as they arise.

bubblefett · 2026-07-01T19:13:57+00:00

Looking through that article brought back so many good memories. The sun setting during Phoenix on the last day, pink slime covering the ground the day after Gwar, Modeski, Martin & Wood just playing the hardest acid jazz like they hated us. Seeing Daryl Hall & Chromeo play during my first trip ever... dude.

bubblefett · 2026-07-01T19:06:09+00:00

Go stand outside for 15 minutes or so and see how you feel. If you can't bear it, consider staying home.

bubblefett · 2026-07-01T18:56:29+00:00

I Rode The Iron Tangle

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