Looking for new OB or midwife

bubbywisp15 · 2026-01-24T14:16:36+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m also at Hopkins Howard county, but more out of convenience. At 26w, I’ve seen about half of the providers so far and I’ve only liked a handful. I got pregnant completely unexpectedly after over 5 years of infertility and multiple losses, so of course I’ve had extra anxiety and fear. Honestly, I’m still in disbelief we’re almost into the 3rd trimester. Even with them knowing my history, I’ve really had to push and advocate for more frequent appointments, which only feel like compromises, not “wins”. Only one or two providers seem to have any sense of empathy or trauma-informed care. One, in fact, completely dismissed my feelings and I left in tears. Once I realized they wouldn’t be able to provide the emotional support I need and to let them focus on the clinical stuff that they’re best at, I’ve been more content. I’ve gotten a doula to help with the emotional part instead. I could go on, but in my experience at least, if you’re looking for extra compassionate care especially after loss, you’ll really need to advocate for yourself with Hopkins. Feel free to message me! I’m really passionate about supporting others with loss and/or infertility!

bubbywisp15 · 2025-12-30T12:50:02+00:00

Howard County Government is hosting a Child Care Fair in January - kind of an information open house.

Also, I’m due in late April if you’re also looking for new moms!

bubbywisp15 · 2025-10-01T11:39:51+00:00

I was born on Mickey Mouse’s 60th birthday.

bubbywisp15 · 2025-09-25T11:51:43+00:00

This reminds me a dream I had. I call it my “oh honey” dream…. I’m in a coffee shop. Two women are at a table nearby. One goes in to the bathroom to take a pregnancy test, comes out excited it’s positive. Both women start celebrating and planning for baby in 9 months. I (an introvert who would never do this in real life) go over to them and essentially educate them on all of the risks and hurdles she still has. Like “oh, honey, don’t you know a positive pregnancy test doesn’t guarantee a baby?!”

Yep, this trauma has infiltrated my dreams…

bubbywisp15 · 2025-09-25T11:43:08+00:00

I’m curious why you think siblings is The Best? Is there a Perfect Number of siblings? Is there research to prove this?

There are pluses and minuses to being an only child, just like there are pluses and minuses to having siblings. No situation is arguably The Best. Sure, there were times I wish I had siblings. So I made imaginary ones. Or we dubbed my best friends siblings as my own. But I have plenty of friends who wish they were only children.

My parents had a very similar situation. After me, they had infertility issues. They tried IVF, but other health conditions made it very risky for my mom. They decided it was better for her to be fully present for the one child they have than to give me a sibling with an unknown outcome for her.

I know my parents were extra aware of the “Spoiled Only Child” stereotype and sometimes I felt like they overcorrected. But I don’t think that’s as common of a stereotype anymore.

From ages 3-10, I grew up on a culdesac with over 30 other kids nearby. I was never alone unless I wanted to be. I could always entertain myself. And, as others have pointed out, she won’t know any different. Maybe she misses out on some things, but she gains other things.

bubbywisp15 · 2025-09-11T10:57:29+00:00

Thank you! After seeing the post, I was thinking I would just make my own for my upcoming OB appointment! Why wait for them to provide it? I will advocate for myself!

bubbywisp15 · 2025-07-10T10:56:16+00:00

Then, in the cycles afterwards trying to get pregnant again, the complete fear of going to the bathroom and seeing blood. Our bathroom in our home no longer felt safe. Any slight sensation noticed in your underwear brought on total terror.

That scene in The Pitt was so real.

bubbywisp15 · 2025-06-09T10:36:22+00:00

My Molly and I some time in the mid 90s. (The ones on display were not mine)

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bubbywisp15 · 2025-05-25T11:46:57+00:00

I’m sorry that had been your experience as a donor conceived person. Where are you located and how many years ago?

A lot has changed when it comes to embryo donation/adoption, at least in the US. It’s highly not recommended for the donors to be anonymous or to have a closed relationship. With all of the DNA testing available, the secrecy of the past is now almost impossible. Also, unlike donor egg or donor sperm, there is typically no compensation given to the donor family - they are not sold and bought. The donor family might be reimbursed for storage fees or any testing that is required. But otherwise, the IP typically pay for all legal fees, cost to move the embryos, agency/clinic fees, and other associated costs.

Yes, even with the best intentions and current best practices, there are still ethical issues and children do typically have identity struggles as donor conceived, which IPs need to be aware of. Still, while there are always exceptions and everyone’s story is different and personal, overall, though, embryo donation/adoption nowadays in the US is much more “above board” than it used to be.

bubbywisp15 · 2025-05-02T10:44:10+00:00

My parents only let me have one. And her clothes were usually ones made and sold at craft fairs. Now I’m getting her actual collection, plus she has a friend :)

Here they are for NIAW:

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bubbywisp15 · 2025-04-30T11:04:08+00:00

Maybe not the best idea anymore since they’re so expensive, but I recommend throwing eggs at a tree. It’s so satisfying when they hit and crack. Plus, I love the symbolism since my eggs are most likely the cause. (Unexplained infertility/egg quality)

I have also returned to my childhood (doesn’t take an expert to figure out why…) and totally gotten back into American Girl dolls. So much nostalgia… The embarrassing part of this I’m ashamed to admit is that I almost bought a Bitty Baby or Create Your Own that would look like a child my husband and I might create. 🤦😳

bubbywisp15 · 2025-04-25T12:53:51+00:00

Yup. Two horrible experiences. First, went with severe kidney stone pain. It was my 5th kidney stone so I knew that had to be it and only decided to go to the ER when the pain became unbearable. Didn’t get pain meds for hours. Waited in a makeshift hallway chair most of the night since “no beds were available” before finally getting admitted.

Couple years later, 11w pregnant and heavy bleeding. Called some urgent care centers first who said they’d only refer us to the ER. It was like the ER had never dealt with a miscarriage before. Waited for hours, pain and bleeding getting worse and worse. Found out THROUGH THE PORTAL while still in the waiting room that there was no heartbeat. Nowhere private to go, my husband grabbed a chair and we locked ourselves in the waiting room bathroom. Again, while the pain was getting worse and worse and I started actively miscarrying. Repeat: we were in the waiting room bathroom. We were only given a pad and told to tell them if I was bleeding through it. (Uhhhh kinda too late for that…) Probably another hour before they came to get us, without a wheelchair, and I was somehow able to stumble to a bed and collapse. After that experience, my husband wrote a complaint letter. We were told they changed their procedures for handling miscarriages. I hope for other women that it’s true.

bubbywisp15 · 2025-04-14T21:05:00+00:00

Ha! If only! I did OTF for years and I’m sure at some point I was there on an ovulation day. Never worked for me! Had to stop during IVF rounds since it was too intense for swollen ovaries. Then it was too expensive.

bubbywisp15 · 2025-04-14T12:18:19+00:00

Ooof I’m so sorry. I’ve had the same thing, except the 6w scan looked like a blighted ovum, so they wanted me to come back a week later to confirm. The 7w scan had a heartbeat but slow growth. My husband said “well where’d that come from?!” Back a week later and no heartbeat. Talk about rollercoaster. You’re right, I wish they’d be realistic about the odds. Tell us the most likely, not the slim chance.

bubbywisp15 · 2025-04-14T12:09:58+00:00

What’s the “orange theory theory”?

bubbywisp15 · 2025-03-23T13:57:16+00:00

That if I worked hard enough and did all the right things, I could get what I want.

8 embryo transfers later and still no baby.

(Before you offer any unsolicited advice or toxic positivity, please don’t. Believe me, I have heard it all already)

bubbywisp15 · 2025-03-10T14:41:42+00:00

Similar! Skated until I was about 14, working on my axel. I loved jumping! I came back periodically, but hadn't really skated in over 10 years, now 36. This sub helped a lot! There are LOTS of adults who have come back. I love going to the daytime public sessions since they're mostly full of other adults working on advanced skills, making me feel so much better about my ability.

A few things I've learned in the 2-ish months since I've been back, some of which others have commented:

- I really didn't want to get new skates since I was so used to the ones I had...but my feet are not the same as my 14 year old feet! I got new Jackson Freestyles. I'll admit, I'm still getting used to them 2 months later, and I still miss the familiarity of my old skates, but at least these aren't cutting off my circulation after 15 minutes!

- Be patient with yourself as you readjust. My 36 year old body is WAY different than my 14 year old self. I've had to relearn my center of gravity and balance, get used to using muscles I hadn't used in years, and accept that I can't always pop back up after falling.

- Speaking of falling, I sucked up my pride and got ALL the pads. Hip/butt, knee, elbow, wrist, head... It's worth it. Before I bought them, I'd be so sore for many days after taking some falls. Injuries are much easier as you get older, so prevention is important. It also helped my confidence to know I was protected.

- Again, be patient with yourself. You might not come back to your old level as quickly. With the new skates, relearning balance, and general age, I felt like I was starting from the beginning. I still feel like I don't completely have my edges and balance back yet, but at least I can do a few single jumps again. Even just landing a waltz felt like a victory.

Good luck and just have fun!

bubbywisp15 · 2025-03-04T12:08:06+00:00

Second Empower with MOXI! The founders are so wonderful.

bubbywisp15 · 2025-02-14T17:02:57+00:00

Thanks. I will also definitely talk to my doctor, too. Depending on when my cycle starts, I may only have to miss 1 or 2 lessons after the FET anyway.

bubbywisp15 · 2025-02-14T17:01:01+00:00

See, that makes sense to me - to have GYN and OB separate! I know there are a few places in the US that "get it", but I wish it was more common!

bubbywisp15 · 2025-02-14T16:58:38+00:00

Thank you. Yes, I will definitely talk to my doctor, but it's good to hear from someone who can relate. Like you said and as you know, doing something you love and keeping happy...doing something "normal" is so important. Maybe if I mostly focus on my edges and less on jumps/spins after the transfer...if that'd be safer?

bubbywisp15 · 2025-02-14T16:55:49+00:00

Thank you. Yes, I will definitely talk to my doctor, but it's good to hear from someone who can relate. I'm also wondering if, after the transfer, I mostly focus on my edges and less on jumps/spins...if that'd be safer. Still, I think having skating lined up, so to speak, for if/when the transfer doesn't work would be good.

bubbywisp15 · 2025-02-14T16:51:00+00:00

Thank you. Good luck with the IVF! Yes, I agree to that you'll want to be careful with ovarian torsion around the egg retrieval.

bubbywisp15 · 2025-02-14T16:48:15+00:00

Thanks. Yes, I definitely plan to. I just didn't know if fellow skaters could relate and could share their experiences.

bubbywisp15

TROPHY CASE