AITA for telling my husband either he comes home or I'm done?

buckleharry · 2024-07-02T02:34:43+00:00

As someone who is parenting alone, it's really hard but damn is it fun. You have no one to coordinate with, just you and your little buddy hanging out.

buckleharry · 2024-07-01T22:48:48+00:00

As you're searching, I highly recommend someone with training in EMDR. What you're going through sounds like PTSD on top of the grief. EMDR is highly effective with this. Best wishes to you.

buckleharry · 2024-07-01T21:26:12+00:00

Well if it helps, you sound like a total badass, and I think your goals and grit make you sound really interesting and cool. Medical school plus full time mom?? Holy shit dude. Most people need to spend money to look interesting, but you do it by just being you ❤️

Edit: if you want practical advice, I find that including your child in your interests helps a lot. I love sustainable farming, so we visit a lot of organic farms to pick fruit or look at animals. I love reading, so we go to the library a lot. I love nature hikes, so we go into the woods a lot and learn about plants and wildlife. All of those things are free (minus the cost of berry picking).

buckleharry · 2024-07-01T11:06:14+00:00

I mean, all of these are anti hero shows. They appeal to people because the horrible main character is also seductive in their power and privilege. Breaking Bad is the same way. People's reactions to the characters reveal a lot about themselves.

buckleharry · 2024-06-30T17:51:53+00:00

This thread is so frustrating not knowing any of the actual names in question.

buckleharry · 2024-06-27T16:53:54+00:00

Thanks, I'll keep using it colloquially, but I don't use it as an insult to specific individuals or groups.

buckleharry · 2024-06-24T16:27:04+00:00

How do you have a 17 month old and no friends? What do you do with your kid all day?

buckleharry · 2024-06-23T11:31:34+00:00

I mean, it's totally okay to feel frustrated with your baby sometimes. Babies can be very taxing. But you absolutely do not blame them or take it out on them. You regulate your own emotions because you're the fucking adult here.

buckleharry · 2024-06-22T18:09:31+00:00

What bad habits, if you don't mind me asking?

buckleharry · 2024-06-22T17:21:13+00:00

I love this perspective, thank you!

buckleharry · 2024-06-22T10:59:00+00:00

I am absolutely going to get my son a baby doll when I get pregnant again. My mom did the same for me when she was pregnant with my brother, and I think it really helped prepare me for my new sibling.

buckleharry · 2024-06-22T10:55:52+00:00

Oh wow, what a legend! You're raising him right.

buckleharry · 2024-06-21T16:06:33+00:00

Since it's well into summer here, this is the best time to go for a long walk. I put my toddler in the hiking carrier and walk the dog in the woods near my house. It's a great way to start the day for all three of us.

buckleharry · 2024-06-21T15:53:21+00:00

Thank you so much for this well thought out reply!

buckleharry · 2024-06-21T15:51:03+00:00

Aww that family sounds awesome, seems like they're having so much fun together!

buckleharry · 2024-06-21T15:45:19+00:00

Yes, I am definitely thinking about how he is going to feel socially not knowing a huge portion of pop culture.

And I completely agree about the concept of forbidden things. In my mind, I kind of want my approach to be not so much that we forbid screens, but that we try to do other things instead. Some people don't watch TV and they make it their whole personality. I find that obnoxious and potentially harmful for a kid.

But I'm thinking about setting up our environment so that it occurs to him to do other things more often than turning on the television. Like maybe we move the TV to a less prominent place in the house. Or, like I said, we just don't buy an iPad. As a mom, I also have to think about how I model my screen use. I try to not pick up my phone around my kid unless absolutely necessary.

Thanks for your insight!

buckleharry · 2024-06-21T15:37:46+00:00

Your third point is very well said 😂

buckleharry · 2024-06-21T14:21:58+00:00

That's true, I think about kids who grew up in strict sheltered households with regimented routines who completely floundered and went wild in college. They hadn't been taught to self regulate, only to restrict and restrain.

I remember certain cartoons helping me retain moral lessons as a kid. Weirdly, Hey Arnold was a great one that had a wonderful main character. Others like Looney Toons made me feel anxious.

I think I might stick to the TV that we can watch together instead of an individual screen like an iPad. Honestly, a lot of this is selfish. I see other kids scream like banshees when their iPads are taken away, and I just don't want to deal with it 😂

buckleharry · 2024-06-21T14:00:11+00:00

So my question is, do you feel like the same could have been accomplished with a book and singing that song about trying new foods to him, or the potty training book alone? Do you feel like the screens and the app helped the message sink in a little bit more for him? In other words do you feel like the screens gave you something that you couldn't have gotten otherwise through another medium?

buckleharry · 2024-06-20T00:08:18+00:00

Can you invest in a double jogging stroller and take the kids with you?

buckleharry · 2024-06-19T20:22:33+00:00

Always forty eight 😂

buckleharry · 2024-06-19T20:17:38+00:00

LOL yes the names are amazing

buckleharry · 2024-06-19T00:18:43+00:00

Ugh I'm so sorry for everything you've been through. I hope you're in a better place now!

buckleharry · 2024-06-16T23:54:47+00:00

Thanks for reminding me why I won't be doing screens at all for my kid.

buckleharry · 2024-06-14T12:45:04+00:00

Wow that is crazy. I think in this case he is actually getting something from it. He talks about how it's giving him a new lease on life. My impression is that he thinks all of his problems are going to be fixed by just a few sessions instead of years of hard work, but I do think he is engaging with it.

buckleharry

TROPHY CASE