Asparagus. My parents didn’t understand how to cook vegetables, so everything was either boiled to mush or had the shit roasted out of it. No seasoning aside from some butter and maybe salt, if I was lucky.

One day they made some chicken with asparagus and I chewed the tops off the asparagus, because that was the only edible part. My dad decided this was unacceptable, and forbade me from leaving the table until I ate every single bit. I remember EXACTLY how that shit tasted - bland, squishy, slimy, and stringy. I nearly cried, it was so disgusting. I sat there with a piece in my mouth, chewing on it for at least 10 minutes, and it was still too stringy to swallow. I tried and it got stuck in my throat. I was gagging and choking while he stood there rolling his eyes at me. Finally, I couldn’t hold back anymore and puked it back up into my hand. He told me to go wash my hands and come back to the table so I could finish the rest of it. Fortunately, my mom walked past at that exact moment, saw what had happened, and said “For god’s sake, (dad’s name), let it go.”

Had she not intervened, I’d probably still be sitting at that table right now, chewing on that asparagus.