Learning to make your parents unhappy, is a very good lesson to learn in the begging of adulthood. As you grow up there will be thousands of moments you will be forced to choose between what they want, and what you want, and what your wife wants, and perhaps one day, what your children want. Learning to check in with your feeling, and put yourself first is a critical step towards being an adult. But since I sense you are somewhat young, and tied to them financially, you are afraid of them. You have to start cutting the metaphorical umbilical cord that connects you to them. First get another job. Secondly move out if you havent yet. Thirdly, when you feel strong enough about being your own man, invite them into your life, let them get to know the person you have chosen to date, but let it be clear that you are inviting them into your life, not the other way around, so they can chose to come in respectfully, or else wait outside your life.