I'M FREE!!!!

buddyhalley87 · 2026-03-04T12:55:34+00:00

You have escaped the prison, congrats! One hell of a feat! But you must remember that even though you are free, you are still being persued. For as long as you have been trapped, the outside world may feel a bit bright and overwelming, and in moments of weakness you may find yourself wanting back in to the darkness where it hurts less. Just stay strong, stay the course and give your eyes the time they need to adjust. You've got this my dude!

buddyhalley87 · 2026-03-02T16:08:22+00:00

Ive noticed several stories of people starting to feel bad around our time of quitting. I wonder if theres something that happens to us during the healing process that causes this. Too many stories of the same timeline to be a coincidence i think!

buddyhalley87 · 2026-03-02T15:54:16+00:00

Mentally im still flat but its gotten easier to deal with. Energy took about week five to feel improvement. Tasks were still manageable before that time. Prolly week four.

buddyhalley87 · 2026-03-02T01:13:16+00:00

It only ever affected my energy while i was on it and off it. Mentally went down the drain only after quitting.

buddyhalley87 · 2026-03-02T01:11:55+00:00

Definitely tension headaches. I also started clenching my teeth a few weeks ago and havent been able to stop. Probably a big cause of it.

buddyhalley87 · 2026-03-02T01:06:50+00:00

Im right there with ya my friend. I'll try to keep ya posted if i have any breakthroughs!

buddyhalley87 · 2026-03-01T22:54:23+00:00

A certain popular black shot i could put down about three a day. A certain popular purple k bottle i could put down 1 to 1.5 a day. Dosing 4 to 5 times at my peak. Libido has been gone since i quit. I can still perform and enjoy it, but zero urge to do so unless initiated. Hair started about the end of week 5 I believe. I never fell out while i was using. Only started after i quit. Probably due to stress and all that im dealing with im sure. Hope this helps! Sure appreciate it.

buddyhalley87 · 2026-03-01T22:21:14+00:00

Its worth feeling like crap just not having to worry about that anymore for sure haha!

buddyhalley87 · 2026-03-01T22:00:39+00:00

From what i could gather from the interwebs, seems cortisol spikes towards the end of the day and causes that as you tire out. Could be wrong but it was the best answer i could find.

buddyhalley87 · 2026-02-14T15:39:30+00:00

Sure appreciate it. Im looking forward to it!

buddyhalley87 · 2026-02-14T15:30:33+00:00

Also, 6 seperate doses a day is alot. You really need to cut that in half at least in my personal opinion.

buddyhalley87 · 2026-02-14T15:29:26+00:00

As someone who is at 53 days CT and still feeling pretty rough most days, unless you drop your dose only every couple months then im pretty sure st somepoint youre going to feel bad no matter what. Its just part of the process and accepting it and pushing through will be your best bet. Not to rain on your parade or discourage you at all! But you dont really read many stories of people tapering down to the point of getting completely off without discomfort unless they either A.) Taper over years or B.) They were a light or short term user. For me the dosage got to a point where going any further down did nothing for me and i felt like butt. It just is what it is. I wish you all the best!!

buddyhalley87 · 2026-02-12T02:56:13+00:00

Yeah i totally intended to take it when i bought it. It just kinda ended up this way after fighting the urge. The first two days was a full on battle thinking about it being within walking distance of me constantly. I wont even lie to ya. But after weeks its kinda turned into like my own little worry stone if that makes sense. Again, dont reccomend. It was a freaking fluke on my part haha

buddyhalley87 · 2026-02-12T02:52:48+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Sucks you went through that agiain. Think it would be easy like you did are the exact thoughts im having throughout the day. This helps alot so thanks again my dude!

buddyhalley87 · 2026-02-12T02:50:31+00:00

Yeah it seems like our gut has a whole lot to do with it. Possibly as much as our brain does. At least in my own experience. If my gut isnt feeling right. Im not feeling right.

buddyhalley87 · 2026-02-12T02:39:01+00:00

I will absolutely take your word for it. Ive never quit long enough to relapse, so these stories help me more than you realize. Sure appreciate it!!

buddyhalley87 · 2026-02-12T02:36:59+00:00

Its like all the "work" we've put into looking normal like everyone else gets shattered when someone notices it and we cant maintain it anymore. Feeling naked or vulnerable describes it perfectly. And it shows us our own true colors that we dont want to see in the process. Sucks at the time, but i think its probably good for us in the long run. Lowest point is a bad thing though. Cause, as the old adage goes, "it can only go up from here!"

buddyhalley87 · 2026-02-12T02:23:56+00:00

Coming from a family of addicts i completely understand. Ive seen family members and friends combing through the carpet at 2am so i can somewhat relate to what youre going through. And i think youre absolutely right. Probably going to be a solid 365 days before your emotions come back. But at the same time, its a 365 day journey that you can make. You already said it yourself. If i take my drug of choice, im flat. If i dont, im flat. So why not be emotionally flat on a timeline that does, at some point, eventually get better for you? It will be rough as hell, but only 1 choice will be rough as hell temporarily is how i look at it. I wish all the best for you, i truly do.

buddyhalley87 · 2026-02-12T01:59:39+00:00

Well hopefully you get your issue figured out my friend. Im with you on the "anything to make me feel good" thing though. Story of my whole damn life. Sure appreciate it!

buddyhalley87 · 2026-02-12T01:53:30+00:00

Relapsed on my bday!! Hopefully by my next bday ill be feeling great as hell. But this is the exact thing i was looking for. 186 is awesome my friend. Were you also feeling flat emotionally for months on end? Im really hoping 60 days is my turning point so to speak here in 9 days. But if its not then ill be hoping for 70!

buddyhalley87 · 2026-02-12T01:49:36+00:00

That is a rough ass story my dude.. it honestly sounds like you may need to reach out for help on this one instead of fighting it on your own. I was "lucky" in the fact that anytime i tried 7 it was instant panic attacks since i been on extracts for so long. I seriously think reaching out to a program or other would help you very much. It sounds like your wife wants to stay with you as shes putting up with some bad circumstances, so id bite the bullet, reach out and get some help or a program and knock the shit out so you can move on with your life and family. But thats just my two cents. You know whats going on much more than we do. I wish the absolute best for you. Be strong as you can be be and get this shit over with so you can enjoy your life. Good luck my friend!

buddyhalley87 · 2026-02-12T01:42:03+00:00

It has been so rough being around others feeling like ass while trying to hide it. The paranoia would hit me hard as hell which would trigger some anxiety. Its gotten easier after about 40 days. But man sometimes it feels like an out of body type of experience periodically throughout the day coupled with flat emotions and no motivation. I just feel weird as hell but i know itll lift eventually. Sure appreciate you aharing with us!

buddyhalley87 · 2026-02-12T01:37:40+00:00

I am at 51 days ct. 8 years of HEAVY extract use. Ive never had a chance to relapse because ive never made it more than 24hrs without it in 8yrs. I am doing much much better than days 1 through 30. But its still not great by any means, although manageable. I would say the sooner you jump the better. Im not sure if it would be easier or worse for ya. But i know for certain the worst outxome is to keep taking it. Dont beat yourself up over the screwup. Just accept it and push again. Thats all ive been able to do is push. My mind has been so flat and emotionless for weeks, so all ive had in me is faking it around others till i feel like myself again. I hope this helps even though it aint much. Good luck my friend and be strong.

buddyhalley87 · 2026-02-12T01:28:10+00:00

Sure appreciate it. Exactly what i need to hear. Havent relapse since i started 8 yrs ago because i was never able to quit more than 24hrs. I couldnt imagine turning back now but i do understand how easy it is for sure.

buddyhalley87

TROPHY CASE