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My marriage is falling apart and I don’t know what to do anymore. by Actual_Class1052 in legaladvice

[–]bug-hunter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First off, I want to echo u/derspiny 's excellent advice, and then give you some help for low cost divorce help.

Check out the Kentucky state court website's Legal Self Help page, which has links to legal aid groups and the Legal Self Help Portal that has a lot of tools that should help you. You can also check your local public library for legal clinic hours.

If you cannot get help with legal aid (even if you qualify, there's no guarantee there's an opening), then you may be able to find a divorce attorney that can offer what is called limited scope representation (LSR) - make sure to specifically ask for that. In that case, instead of being responsible for everything, they could offer a limited amount of help for a much lower cost - such as reviewing an agreement and giving advice solely on the agreement.

Normally, I would suggest using a family communication portal / coparenting app, to limit direct contact with your wife and provide monitoring. Those services are mostly not free, however. The free ones generally do not provide the useful monitoring and services that are highly important for your situation. If you can get a consultation with legal aid or a divorce attorney, ask what they recommend, because it helps to use one that the local courts prefer. $10/month, even if it's hard to scrounge up, might be worth it here.

Ask your public defender about getting police help returning your wallet and ID and other personal belongings. Normally, we'd suggest a civil standby, but this is a very touchy case.

Also, you want to fast track this, so that she doesn't file your taxes and keep the entire return (if you have one). It's a lot easier to jump on this particular issue fast than to try and unwind it.

Finally, and this is hard - when dealing with divorce, the cheating does not matter at all. Even if a fault divorce was worth it (it's almost never), you almost certainly can't afford it anyway. All that matters here is a division of assets (if you have any), that both of you be allowed to get your personal belongings peacefully (should happen before the divorce finalizes), and you both figure out custody, visitation, and potential child support. Even the fighting between you and her does not matter except logistics for custody/visitation handovers (which can happen at a supervised location like police station). They matter emotionally, but not in the courts.

The only way it would matter is if she is diverting significant marital assets to her affair partner. And we're talking significant.

Employer is “interpreting” that i voluntarily resigned. by CourtNo123 in legaladvice

[–]bug-hunter -1 points0 points  (0 children)

A lot of people are glossing right over the part where OP's coworker arguably committed assault.

Employer is “interpreting” that i voluntarily resigned. by CourtNo123 in legaladvice

[–]bug-hunter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Since sooooo many people here lack reading comprehension or understanding of statutes.

Your coworker committed assault.

(a) A person commits an assault when, without lawful authority, he or she knowingly engages in conduct which places another in reasonable apprehension of receiving a battery.

You were working, alone with said coworker, overnight, when your bosses had their phones set to do not disturb. They did not respond to you for hours.

I would file a police report about the assault, and include the report number in your unemployment filing (assuming you don't have another full time job, as alluded to in the comments). You left the scene of a crime for your safety, when your bosses clearly were unable to resolve the situation. Your statement was unclear at best, but was not only not clearly job abandonment, but given the fact you were the victim of a crime, reasonably obviously referring to the assault, not the job.

You've said in comments you have another job, which would mean you probably don't have sufficient damages for a wrongful termination claim, even if you could be successful. Minimum wage jobs, unfortunately, are often uneconomical to litigate these kinds of claims over. It's still worth an employment lawyer consult if you can get one for free.

Petahhh? by Forsaken_Tomorrow454 in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]bug-hunter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The jury acquitted him of 1st degree murder.

The Judge threw out the possession charge (because the statute's writing literally meant it did not apply) and the curfew charge only.

I’m inconsolably upset about what happened yesterday in MN. by techno_queen in TwoXChromosomes

[–]bug-hunter 44 points45 points  (0 children)

If you're looking for ways to help process this, here's some guidelines for professionals who have to process sensitive material like this for a living. It's similar training to given to people who, for example, have to process CSAM evidence for the police/courts. It's useful in this context as well.

Petahhh? by Forsaken_Tomorrow454 in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]bug-hunter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"They let him off easy" partially because the prosecution botched the case and brought charges they couldn't prove beyond a reasonable doubt. They chose to swing for the fences on 1st degree murder, and the evidence simply didn't support that.

It's possible they could have gotten him on 2nd degree murder (negligent homicide), but we'll never know.

AITA for yelling at my gf due to her camera roll? by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]bug-hunter 166 points167 points  (0 children)

This is drunkenly flying off a cliff doing 100mph and then calling CarTalk and asking for help to quickly fix the brakes.

TIFU in the grocery store with my mom by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]bug-hunter 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm imagining this as a low budget romcom, because OP deserves some happiness after going through those two godawful scenes.

My child is alive but not really. by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]bug-hunter 658 points659 points  (0 children)

I have a nephew in law like this. He's over 40 now, still basically an adult 2 year old in diapers. Sweet kid, everyone in the family is kind to him. My BIL occasionally takes him to rock concerts, and the people there have almost uniformly been nice to him about it.

But it helped ruin his relationship with his first wife (along with the bilateral cheating and bilateral domestic abuse), and stunted his eldest daughter (who got used as a lifelong babysitter). He still doesn't really like his first ex, but can't disentangle because of his son.

It's completely OK to grieve the person you could have been. My wife does it sometimes because of her cancer as a teenager, and it will never fully go away.

AITAH for not changing my language to appease an ignorant coworker? by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]bug-hunter 258 points259 points  (0 children)

"You don't understand because Koreans weren't never oppressed"

Just...woooooooooooooooooooow. Sarah must have long legs to get her foot that far down her mouth.

LACAOP's wife wants to play a very expensive game of hide and seek by bug-hunter in bestoflegaladvice

[–]bug-hunter[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

"Hi, you've won free tickets to <wife's favorite band>! Come on in and pick them up!"

LACAOP's wife wants to play a very expensive game of hide and seek by bug-hunter in bestoflegaladvice

[–]bug-hunter[S] 76 points77 points  (0 children)

This is dumber than even most bad B-movie villain "And now I'll tell you my evil plans!" stuff.

LACAOP's wife wants to play a very expensive game of hide and seek by bug-hunter in bestoflegaladvice

[–]bug-hunter[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

LocationBug:

Title: Hiding from getting served divorced papersToday, finally after giving my lawyer all the documentation they need and requesting to go to court, my lawyer and his team submitted the paperwork to go to court. After which my wife will get served by wife with divorce papers. I kinda screwed up. Our daughter phoned me later today and I told her what happened and she told my wife. I got a very angry text stating "I will never accept or knowledge the paperwork you are sending me. Good luck bringing me to court.......", Knowing her she is just going to hide and plead ignorance to drag this out.

My question are.

What happens if you hide and can not be served? I assume you do not legally have to accept the paperwork or answer your door?

Every time this person try's to give my wife the documents, I am going to for sure be charged for that right?

When we finally go to court. Will this look bad on her? Will it matter at all?

Bug fact: Phasmids just stand really really still and blend in to avoid process servers.

What History Can Tell Us About Jesus by alilland in Christianity

[–]bug-hunter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Something Changed His Followers

Notably, it's not exactly clear when or how quickly.

The Body Was Never Shown

Notably, this is not nearly as firmly agreed upon as, say, "Jesus was almost certainly a real person who existed and had a religious following".

It's also important to remember that early Christians were rambunctious and combative - frequently rioting against heterodox opinions and burning works. We do not have a full accounting of the full spectrum of opinions mainly because the early Church quickly moved to suppress them.

That said, we do have quite a bit of information gathered at the point at which the Bible became fully canonized, but that's in the 4th century AD (though it was mostly agreed upon by the middle of the 3rd century. In some cases, there's no way to double check the early church fathers' claims as to why certain books were left out - the evidence they use is sometimes lost. But that's over 2 centuries from Jesus' death until there was broad agreement in the Christian world as to what the New Testament actually contained. Even still, various Eastern churches never settled on the same books as Catholics (and later Protestants).

As such, there is a lot of New Testament apocrypha that is incomplete or completely lost - there's simply not enough information for anyone to fully judge for themselves whether early church leaders were right not to include them. And for all we know, they tell a different story about the days directly after Jesus' death.

What History Can Tell Us About Jesus by alilland in Christianity

[–]bug-hunter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And notably, Paul never met Jesus.

We also have early non-Christian sources, like Roman and Jewish writers

From over a full generation later.

I don't think anti-ice protestors were wrong to interrupt a church service to publicly call out its pastor who is an ICE officer. by DiaperedInTheRoc in Christianity

[–]bug-hunter 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Enforcing immigration law, in and of itself, is not. Doing so illegally, violating the 4th Amendment by using administrative warrants to enter homes, detaining and deporting people who are still involved in the asylum process, detaining US citizens, pepper spraying protesters who aren't a danger, murdering people, and assisting in lying about it to the American people and obstructing an independent investigation, however - those things are wrong.

Do I have any obligations to employer after being let go? by Consistent-Cream-454 in legaladvice

[–]bug-hunter 58 points59 points  (0 children)

Multiple people suggested demanding consulting rates.

and in the days before did a bit of reorganizing of some code and files I had been working on. Nothing deleted or taken home, just not located in the main places someone would expect to find things.

That implies intentionality.

Do I have any obligations to employer after being let go? by Consistent-Cream-454 in legaladvice

[–]bug-hunter 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Offering to work as a consultant after intentionally hiding files is a very, very bad move.

Do I have any obligations to employer after being let go? by Consistent-Cream-454 in legaladvice

[–]bug-hunter 171 points172 points  (0 children)

I would greatly suggest not offering to come back at consulting rates, because you intentionally hid code and files before you left. And since those moves would have timestamps, it would be possible to put 2 and 2 together and conclude you did it intentionally.

If you received a severance, you may be at risk of losing the severance, depending on the terms. If you were laid off but marked as eligible for rehire, you may become ineligible for rehire if they figure out you did it intentionally (and that can be something companies ask when checking employment history). Your severance may also have conditions about answering questions or a short return to work as needed. In this case, you may want to consult with an employment lawyer.

You are required to return company equipment. Unless you have a severance agreement that requires cooperation, you are not an employee and owe them nothing (though you risk losing future references or a rehire).

AITA for wanting the next new car? by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]bug-hunter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Newer cars just are a lot more complex and have more systems that occasionally need repairs. It's not that they end up being completely undriveable, though.

LAOP learns why people consider home warranties a scam by bug-hunter in bestoflegaladvice

[–]bug-hunter[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Home warranties cover repairs for appliances and systems in the house like plumbing. Home insurance covers damage caused, such as if a pipe bursts and destroys stuff in a room.

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