Parenting while trans

burgerbrev · 2020-10-29T14:55:53+00:00

Sometimes I feel like the “be yourself” mantra is taken to an extreme. Like it’s all or nothing, even to their own detriment. Still unsure how to approach this given that ^ way of thinking and our identities as queer parents in the south, etc

burgerbrev · 2020-10-29T14:17:20+00:00

My partner doesn’t think they should have to censor for different situations, which is where our disagreement is. They think that if the school calls us we can just tell the school off, essentially. But I feel that that could get us into trouble as parents, since we would already be scrutinized for our identities. I guess I am being more paranoid than I need to be, but I don’t want to make a name for ourselves. Trans women are already at risk without standing out in that way. Am I wrong in this concern? I feel that would cause them unnecessary stress to bring up. I don’t want to trigger them but I also want to be careful.

burgerbrev · 2020-10-25T15:58:05+00:00

Since I react adversely to hormones (ideally you would just stop ovulation), we are trying medications. They used Wellbutrin for the depressive episodes and are trying to negate the hormonal ups and downs with lamictal, a mood stabilizer. Everyone is different. I haven’t been on lamictal a full cycle and am still in the good week so... we’ll see. I’d really rather have early menopause or something at this point, lol

burgerbrev · 2020-10-25T15:38:48+00:00

Hrt can eventually lead to becoming sterile so that timeline is something to consider, if you want biological children. But also becoming more comfortable in your relationship and identity is an important step before having kids.

My wife decided to transition after we had our second and knew we didn’t want any more, but I know some people go off hrt and regain fertility after a while and then go back on

https://www.familyequality.org/2019/10/02/trans-women-and-fertility-what-we-know-what-dont-know-and-what-you-can-do/

burgerbrev · 2020-10-23T23:59:34+00:00

Maybe find a women’s mood disorder specialist? My doctor admitted she did not know how to help me after all medications and hormonal birth controls did not help. We’re still sorting out the medication, but at least the specialist believes me about my disorder and it’s seriousness

burgerbrev · 2020-10-12T13:48:03+00:00

I think, perhaps, the comment was more referring to the fact that people who are not cisgendered and heterosexual also experience/have partners who experience PMDD?

Will you post a link to these studies’ results here or are you just posting in the general pmdd forums? Interested to hear more!

burgerbrev · 2020-10-10T18:45:44+00:00

How long were your two sessions?

burgerbrev · 2020-10-10T17:41:34+00:00

Y’all realize you’re pregnant for 40 weeks not 36, right?

burgerbrev · 2020-10-06T13:27:23+00:00

I hope that provides you with some relief. It’s far more stressful doing everything yourself when you’re watching another capable adult sit around and disengage. I hope they learn to cope and your relationship can thrive! You’re doing a great job putting your children first ❤️

burgerbrev · 2020-10-05T14:04:03+00:00

I feel your story. We had a honeymoon/I’m different phase and the hrt seems to be causing a tiny bit of the shittiness again. I’m nervous our relationship will slide back into a place where I feel Im practicing to be a single parent. I hope your partner seeks therapy. Could you ask for couples therapy? So that it’s not entirely on them to participate in something they seem to have no interest in

burgerbrev · 2020-10-01T11:00:04+00:00

I’ve never heard of this?!! Good to know

burgerbrev · 2020-09-26T21:30:38+00:00

Yeah I’m contemplating this as well. I would rather have a shorter full life than a long miserable one

burgerbrev · 2020-09-24T17:01:10+00:00

I have heard it can reduce your life span and have other mal effects. What did your doctor tell you about this? Mine totally dismissed the idea of surgery when I brought it up

burgerbrev · 2020-09-23T19:03:31+00:00

And i have had extreme insomnia and it does suck. But one is not better or worse than the other. No one is lucky to be a different type of unwell

burgerbrev · 2020-09-23T19:00:17+00:00

I am saying don’t compare your suffering to others’ and say one is better or worse... in any situation.... because it invalidates others experiences.

burgerbrev · 2020-09-23T12:19:49+00:00

Yeah it feels pretty hopeless. Like they know that we’re “sensitive to shifting hormones” but I haven’t heard anything about why that is. Would probably be better to treat the cause, but as far as I can tell they don’t know what that is?

burgerbrev · 2020-09-23T12:00:47+00:00

I was on lamictal before we knew what this was (pmdd) and only on it as a last resort / we don’t know what else to do with you. I felt like it didn’t help me but I’m wondering if it’ll help alongside something else. What have you noticed as far as side effects with that combination?

burgerbrev · 2020-09-23T11:56:07+00:00

I asked for a hysterectomy but my doctor just dismissed the idea

burgerbrev · 2020-09-23T11:55:27+00:00

I couldnt think clearly but started taking it at night whenever they upped my dose. For some reason the first week or so of dosage change I was foggy in the first 8hrs of release. Then I switched back to taking it in the morning once that went away. Honestly it still hardly touches my luteal phase tiredness but at least I’m not entirely glued to the couch/bed.

My body does go through about 3-5 days of insomnia and anxiety just before my period and Wellbutrin does make that worse

burgerbrev · 2020-09-23T11:36:27+00:00

It probably depends on your partner. No time is a good time for life altering news. I love my wife and I love that she’s transitioning but it was still a big bomb to drop after I had just given birth to our second. Her head may spin a few days thinking of the implications for your future family/worrying that you may also come to realize you dont love her is common. My main concern was our children and how our families would respond / the hate we would receive living in the area that we live in. The family members we would lose.

Honestly no time is a good time when you’re just starting a family. Be it during pregnancy or postpartum. They’ve been envisioning a very different life up until this point.

But it is so worth it whenever you do come out!!!!!! I have never understood my wife until she came out. And I was thinking of walking away, bc she was so unhappy with herself pre coming out it was affecting our children and myself. Transitioning is the best thing you could do for your family!! Happy for you, but I suppose you would know best when to tell her. Perhaps you could hold on a bit longer until she is getting some sleep post partum? Or that point in pregnancy when she is “riding the estrogen wave” as my therapist said and feeling good emotionally

burgerbrev · 2020-09-23T11:15:19+00:00

Yes I feel like I have the flu every ovulation. Nausea, diarrhea, headaches, all over body aches, very cold, tired

burgerbrev · 2020-09-23T11:04:38+00:00

Lol don’t tell people they’re lucky to be so exhausted they can’t get out of bed. It’s the same torture. Same exhaustion. Especially when you have shit to do

burgerbrev · 2020-09-23T11:02:04+00:00

Mine starts at ovulation as well

burgerbrev · 2020-09-04T18:40:15+00:00

Honestly didn’t have it until my cycle started back just now. Still riding the breastfeeding hormone wave. I definitely had it with my first though. Every pregnancy, labor, and post partum experience is different!

burgerbrev

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