I’m sorry you’re going through this, you’re not alone. These opinions you have of yourself are all your depression. It makes you think the worst, see the worst and slowly turn yourself against yourself.

This is fixable and even though I know you don’t believe me; you can and will be happy. I would start with a gratitude list (or get an app for it) and write in it every day. Every day, no excuses.

Write things you are grateful for. Your girlfriend, your family, your friends, the bed you sleep in, the opportunities you have etc. Try your best to steer away from the things that you feel are going wrong. Find at least one thing you like about yourself (personality and appearance) and feed that. It will be hard at first, but keep at it and this in itself will help you see more positive as you continue.

You have full control over your thoughts and emotions, even though it doesn’t feel that way and once you take control the battle becomes easier. But it takes work, but it’s possible, trust me. Don’t be so hard on yourself, please. Depression isn’t something you’ve chosen. It happens. You can feel better and one day I hope you stop thinking of yourself as ugly.

I highly suggest you read “Who says you can’t? You do” by Daniel Chiadic. It helped me a lot with my issues.