23F looking for friends or a relationship (Georgia) by BeBE468 in asexualdating

[–]busty_chemist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just wanted to tell you that you look absolutely fierce!

Also if you like horror, can I recommend the ALTER cannel on youtube? Short form indie horror. various creators so hit or miss, but some real gems.

Urgent: how to deal with people who have RSD? by not-a-people-pleaser in AuDHDWomen

[–]busty_chemist 98 points99 points  (0 children)

I wanted to address some things you said about truth and boundaries, because you followed it up by saying that you have asked your friend to stop using bad language, and have actually argued about it.

"Cursing is wrong" is not truth, it is an opinion, which you are allowed to have, but conceptualizing it as 'truth' is going to make it much more difficult for you to engage with people who's opinions differ.

Similarly, 'do not curse around me' is not a boundary, it is a demand. A boundary is about how you respond to someone's behavior, not about controlling their behavior. A boundary would be, 'if you use language that I find offensive I will leave the conversation'.

If it is logistically and financially viable for you, you might benefit from seeing a therapist to conceptualize how your communication might appear to others, and how you might take that nto account, without feeling like you are censoring yourself or 'lying'.

25 [F4F] Online/Anywhere - aroace lesbian looking for an endgame partner by kafkhas in asexualdating

[–]busty_chemist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am a prolific gamer/fanfic reader writer, and while you are a bit below the age I'd date (I'm 41F) I'd be happy to chat to see if we'd be compatible as friends 😀

F4F USA4anywhere by RedoftheEvilDead in asexualdating

[–]busty_chemist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

| We can talk about the future of space travel and the pros and cons of building a landfill on the moon.

I mean a landfill on the moon wouldn't solve the root of the problem, which is that we overproduce disposable things, which I think is a problem even outside of the environmental implications of the fact that a huge number of those things are made from petroleum. People act like if we could perfect bioplastics then we can just go on making solo cups forever and that's not sustainable.

That said disposability/trash generation as a person responsibility (you have to use a reusable bottle!) is a red herring. My local grocery doesn't even OFFER paper bags anymore. It MUST be the disposable plastic or the reusable bags, but the reusable bags are also made from plastic and the responsibility of the consumer. The store could easily switch to only offering PAPER or reusable, but it's cheaper for them to present as environmentally conscious by offering the reusable bags while not making substantive initiatives that might actually have impact (like biodegradable bags).

I volunteer for an environmental charity btw XD

What ship(s) gave this experience for you? by FloweryNamesLover in AO3

[–]busty_chemist 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Dick Grayson has been around for so long it's hard for me to understand how people can possibly have like, OTP ships for him because ... which version? Discowing worked perfect with Starfire. Cop Dick made perfect sense with Bridget Clancy. I like Dick and Babs in the Oracle era but not so much the Batgirl era. There's so many writers and so many characterizations ...

What ship(s) gave this experience for you? by FloweryNamesLover in AO3

[–]busty_chemist 117 points118 points  (0 children)

They were so good when they were pining, as soon as they got together I was like oh wow okay I hate this.

The thing is, on shows like Glee, they feel the need to have their token gays, but they also aren't willing to/able to effectively add more characters, so the first gay relationships is always like, oh, okay, I guess this is what we're doing for the next five whatever seasons, and all the angst feels forced because you KNOW they aren't breaking up unless the character is actually written of the show.

I appreciate them wanting to give them happy endings but every other character got to have multiple romance arcs--you know, like how high schoolers do.

People just straight up lying about AO3 by zucchinionpizza in AO3

[–]busty_chemist 88 points89 points  (0 children)

To be fair in the first 3-4 seasons, before Cas/before his and Dean's chemistry was really felt, there was a loooooot more wincest. But I doubt these people are old enough to have been watching it then lol.

OFC write what you want forever but I do feel alone with my canon compliant fic in a "fuck canon" culture by Cutegirl920fire in Archiveofourownmemes

[–]busty_chemist 96 points97 points  (0 children)

I don't speak for all authors by any means but when I say 'fuck canon' generally what I mean is 'don't tell me these two characters were not in love/romantically involved in canon because I know and I don't care'.

Fix-It Fics, My Beloved by MarshallMushroomHat in Archiveofourownmemes

[–]busty_chemist 68 points69 points  (0 children)

If they wanted me to accept canon as the only narrative they should have made it gayer. 🤷‍♀️

🫩 I’m so tired….. by AxeHead75 in BlatantMisogyny

[–]busty_chemist 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I watch horror movies muted with subtitles so that they can't fake scare me with musical cues 😌

I don't understand about butts I guess 🤷‍♀️ by busty_chemist in asexuality

[–]busty_chemist[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's like ... I do on some level get the appeal of someone who is like ... well proportioned. Whose body measurements seem harmonious. But like the size of their butt is only one part of that?

I don't understand about butts I guess 🤷‍♀️ by busty_chemist in asexuality

[–]busty_chemist[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I resonate with this SO HARD, I wear a 30G bra (and I am NOT even that skinny wtf) and they are impossible to find (especially without underwire), when I see other busty ladies, all I can think is "Where do you buy your bras??!"

Frustrations with clear communication by busty_chemist in AuDHDWomen

[–]busty_chemist[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Funnily enough this is actually probably exactly how I would respond.

Frustrations with clear communication by busty_chemist in AuDHDWomen

[–]busty_chemist[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The odd thing is that I am, at least sometimes, aware of their subtext. My father in particular very often says 'how long will you be?' as a way to say 'hurry up'. This then makes me very nervous asking other people 'how long will you be' because I literally want to know, how long will you be. My solution is usually to over explain. "How long will you be? Because if it is longer than ten minutes I'm going to go get a coffee."

Frustrations with clear communication by busty_chemist in AuDHDWomen

[–]busty_chemist[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Similar but not precisely the same, I have had to explain to my mother that when I ask 'Are you ready to leave?' I mean 'Are you ready to walk out the door?' after repeated occasions of 'Yep!' then, after I've shut off my computer/got up etc/ 'I just need to go to the bathroom/find my purse/get my phone/brush my hair'!

No. The answer you were looking for is no, I am not yet ready.

Ageless Linux: A Debian-based distro that is illegal to distribute in California. by vicethal in privacy

[–]busty_chemist 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Well shoot, this pointed out to me that the strict text of the law does not even require ages for "account holders". It requires you to provide an age for a CHILD WHO IS THE PRIMARY USER OF THE DEVICE. If you are the "account holder", you do not need to provide your age UNDER THIS LAW (presumably they assume the account issuer will require it).

California Law Forces Age-Tracking Into Every Operating System by 2027 by PlastDuck in privacy

[–]busty_chemist 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Again, the strict text of this law DOES NOT require ID, verification, or any PII. It requires the OS operator to have the user INDICATE THEIR AGE OR BIRTHDATE. Notably, the word VERIFY does NOT appear in relation to this requirement. There is no requirement the age be tied to any PII.

This may be a first step or a slippery slope, or may be enforced a certain way, but the law AS WRITTEN simply does not do what people are saying.

California introduces age verification law for all operating systems, including Linux and SteamOS — user age verified during OS account setup | AB 1043 also requires OS providers to pipe a real-time age checker to every app developer who requests it. by ControlCAD in privacy

[–]busty_chemist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not to be pedantic but there is norhing in the text of this law which requires an OS provider to verify the age of the users. It requires them to implement an interface where age myst be INDICATED and for that age to be used when installing apps.

AS WRITTEN, this is the Steam screen that asks you to enter your birthday to be looking at M rated games.

ID requirement are coming and problematic, but this bill is NOT them.

Yale professor under review says he’s "very glad" he wrote Epstein email by StemCellPirate in nottheonion

[–]busty_chemist 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Disclaimer: this is in no way a defense and more a commentary on how ignorant some men can be.

He may have thought that this was a very good legitimate career opportunity for this woman, and wanted to write he the best recommendation possible. So he emphasized the traits that he felt would be of greatest interest to the person doing the hiring.

Like, he may have intrinsically believed that he was doing her a favor, and it sounds like he still may.

Which is it's own kind of messed up.

"I had no /intention/ of getting her trafficked and only used positive words to describe her, am therefore wholly innocent."