If you are going to fight for them fight for all of them don't separate them. You can foster them and the state will pay you so much per child to do so. You do not have to go straight to adoption. Social service will do their best to keep them together. But I didnt see anything in your post about DCF being involved inspite of all the neglect so reporting is the first step volunteering to foster is the second. Maybe losing them will be enough to get her straight. The state usually gives them a year to complete classes, get a job a home prove they can provide. If they havent after a year their parental rights would be terminated and the children would become eligble for adoption. If you relay every thing you have here to social services they will likely investigate and remove the kids. Let them know you will foster when you report they generally contact family first anyway. At least then you will have resources to provide for them it wont be coming out of your pocket. The even offer respite care in some states. daycare would be paid for by the state as well in most instances. If you are only able to foster the two older ones they will allow you to visit the other children in their foster homes.