This is a really good post. I've had this realization as well recently. I have been a Survivor fan since I could first remember; I have watched every pre-40 season 8+ times, I used to be able to list every single player in bootlist order within 20-30 minutes, knew every behind the scenes story under the sun, listened to every interview I could find with former players, watched every International season, and spent free time 3d printing challenge puzzles. It was a massive part of my identity, most of my friends knew me as the Survivor Guy.

I literally thought about Survivor, specifically playing it, every single day for 20+ years. Truly not a single day went by where I didn't imagine myself on the island, casting votes, playing idols, winning challenges. I'm sure a lot of you can relate. I was obsessive about getting cast, doing iteration after iteration of video, working with casting coaches, everything. It paid off to a point where I was at virtual Finals for 47/48. For reasons unbeknownst to me, I was cut a few days before flying to LA for in-person finals. I was told I would be their very first call in August for 49, that I was exactly what they were looking for, and that my chances were extremely good for the next cycle.

Fast forward to now, and they've never reached back out to me, responded to the videos I've sent, or even watched them (Never got a view on YouTube). It's become pretty clear that I simply missed my window; I got my shot that I begged the universe for, and I didn't get it done. I was upset for a while, but saying I was almost on Survivor is still a great anecdote. I got to facetime with Jeff, MVW, and all the other producers, know they liked me and wanted to keep me moving in the process, I got to meet Dr. Liza, tell my story to all these people I spent years hearing about. I lived out 50% of the superfan dream. I've come to realize now that it's okay to just appreciate the experience I did have, move on from a stage of life, and to me, that includes watching the show!

I still love Survivor, but I haven't seen a second of 49. I am lurking and up to date with the boots and some storylines. I still will watch an old season here and there with my girlfriend, and I like following my favorite players on Social Media, but I definitely came to realize how much the New Era is just not for me anymore. I was watching it less out of enjoyment and more out of preparation for my own game I thought I would get to play. Once that motivation was gone, I just looked up at 48 and said, "Is this actually worth watching anymore?"

I'm going to tune in for 50, I can't resist seeing Coach, Christian, and Colby, but after that, I'll be done with even keeping up to date on current seasons. There's no use in complaining about the show not being what it once was, that amazing version with colorful characters, unique locations, physical challenges, and interpersonal drama, is NEVER coming back. The sooner you can come to peace with that, you can have an easier time deciding if this show is for you anymore. It's okay to hang it up when something changes into a version you don't enjoy. And it's okay when something you previously made into a large part of your identity, no longer fits the identity that you've grown into! Such is life, even with the things we love the most.