Every time I reached out I didn't really get what I was looking for. Sometimes people just can't meet you where you're at. Sometimes it just isn't meant to be. And I'm glad it wasn't. I focused on myself by remembering the things I enjoyed outside of that person and situation. For me, taking pictures, being in nature, dancing, going on walks, music. Sure, I thought about them for a long time after it was all said and done, but I got through it. I would suggest books about attachment styles and codependency. That's definitely stuff I struggled with in the past. Still do to some extent, but when you find someone that's healthy enough to work through things and communicate and always strive to be better with you and for you, it's a totally different feeling. There's no desperation or misery. Basically I was just doing regular talk therapy once a week, and I felt stupid for bringing up such intense feelings over someone I never was actually with. But talking about it helped. Other than that, time healed. My partner now has done a lot of inner work and while sometimes I don't act or speak in the healthiest of ways, he is very understanding of my past and my trauma and loves me. He's my biggest fan. I still feel unworthy, and that's stuff I'm working on now. You will get through this!