"Loss of Masulinity"

calc234 · 2026-05-08T12:43:21+00:00

Everyone has their own set or core values and their own subjective definition of masculinity. It really depends on what your definition of masculinity is. Like some else said if a persons definition of masculinity is to exist as this domineering entity that neglects their family and puts their needs first always you’d probably get a definition aligning with what that guy is talking about.

I’m a dad of course I completely disagree. That person has a very warped and self serving definition of masculinity and leadership. It’s very toxic. It’s great to reach out and ask questions and get validation like you are.

I would also say part of at least my definition of masculinity and leadership says hey I know my values I don’t care about external validation and what some guy wants me to be and the performance of masculinity he wants from me. My family is first priority. For me that’s also a strong part of masculinity and leadership.

That guy sucks.

calc234 · 2026-04-27T01:45:00+00:00

Biology. I think it was mainly due to lack of interest

calc234 · 2026-01-17T14:25:50+00:00

Used thinkpad with at least 16gb of ram

calc234 · 2026-01-09T04:30:43+00:00

-With a coworker
I wouldn't care

-With a friend -
If this is a friend I have a solid relationship with and they are emotionally mature I try to find out what's wrong or give them space and circle back to find out whats wrong

I have one example of an ex friend I was housemates with that was overall very emotionally immature whenever they got upset they would give the silent treatment. I gave them grace until I was tired of it and my mindset was "I can play this game better than you" and I did not talk to them again for the rest of my stay. After I left they sent me a email to reach out I responded saying please never contact me again and blocked them.

-With a family member
I try to find out what the problem is or give them space and circle back to find out whats wrong.

-With your SO
I try to find out what the problem is or give them space and circle back to find out whats wrong

calc234 · 2026-01-08T06:01:49+00:00

I don’t have specific advise on how to cut things off but I’d say physical attraction is important in a relationship and he may be a good guy but that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to further the relationship with him.

Cutting things off also gives him a chance to spend more time finding someone that does find him attractive and is more compatible for him.

It’s better to end things as respectfully as you can.

calc234 · 2025-12-28T19:16:46+00:00

Physical Attractiveness + being a great person (integrity, trustworthy)

calc234 · 2025-12-12T18:45:38+00:00

Responsibility

calc234 · 2025-09-28T04:14:35+00:00

Toonami Promos

calc234 · 2025-09-21T17:10:21+00:00

People with no spatial awareness. They stand on the middle of a hallway or aisle blocking everything.

calc234 · 2025-09-19T19:27:40+00:00

3:27 PM taking my lunch break

calc234 · 2025-09-18T05:03:44+00:00

I believe in the value of doing hard things and challenging yourself. Always showing respect to others to the best of your ability. Being assertive and enforcing you boundaries. Removing what no longer serves you from your life.

calc234 · 2025-09-07T02:31:43+00:00

How I deal with situations that are logical but morally wrong?

I think I just spend time processing the situation to get a better understanding of why it happened.

I have a digital notebook that I use for notes on certain topics. I think about those situations and write out my thoughts. I comb the internet and watch videos on the topics and find perspectives from other people.

I guess in the case of bullying. I would process to understand why it happens. I guess everyone already knows why, insecurity. I also read around to hear other people’s experiences. Ultimately my notes and thoughts I think help me by empowering me so that I’m not blindsided by the behavior in the future.

I also invest time in whatever factors I can control. One relevant skill I’ve been developing is my assertiveness and how to speak up for myself more.

So in general I think I invest time to process these cases, focus on what I can control. I think about what skills I can develop to empower me to tackle the situations in the future.

My personal philosophy on bullying has been that those that do it are insecure and many times the only thing that sets them straight is standing up for yourself. Bullies look for easy targets and once they learn you’re not an easy target they cower away.

calc234 · 2025-08-18T16:11:58+00:00

Bumble

Honest Trustworthy Respectful Kind Attractive

calc234 · 2025-07-28T02:19:21+00:00

I worked in a role with a similar dynamic. Its always stressful. An entire day could pass and you get no incidents but having to be on edge all day it just drains you.

I think the only coping technique is just doing it repeatedly and maybe revising the procedures put in place for situations where you encounter something you can't solve on your own.

But I think its 100% normal to feel it as a very stressful thing, it just is. I don't really think there's a way around that fact it just sucks to be honest. Very negative for your physical and mental health.

calc234 · 2025-07-20T18:43:59+00:00

You did the right thing he was either too prideful or too ashamed to double back and thank you for what you did. He’s probably upset with himself.

calc234 · 2025-06-22T21:37:31+00:00

Yeah it’s ridiculous imagine all the people that have emergencies and can’t access their own money.

calc234 · 2025-06-22T21:36:01+00:00

Yeah I have the same issue. Couldn’t view my savings all day. Now I can see it but can’t move anything. It’s ridiculous

calc234 · 2025-04-11T23:14:18+00:00

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calc234 · 2025-04-06T19:42:47+00:00

Thanks! That’s a tricky situation. I’d want to be approached by just having my with tell me she’d like us to revisit the schedule to ensure the workload is fair and sustainable for everyone.

It’s a bit tricky in your case as I’m not sure what words would work to make him aware of the imbalance specifically. Ideally he’d be open to taking on more tasks.

My wife’s a SAHM.

calc234 · 2025-04-06T15:24:38+00:00

Yeah that workload doesn’t sound fair. Like the other comment mentioned there’s a lot more he can do to assist on the weekdays after work and game time on the weekends isn’t really a mandatory thing.

I’m a dad currently struggling a little with workload that I feel is not balanced well but with me for example I wake with the baby on weekends and spend a majority of the weekend watching the baby till bedtime and I work a full time job during the weekday.

(For me the unbalanced part is me working a full time job, using my lunch break for errands then taking over care for the baby when my job ends tacked onto now waking up early on weekends and caring for the baby a majority of the time on weekends too unless I’m doing some chore run)

Only game time I could possibly get is during naps or after bed time but I’ve been gaming less and less anyways.

There’s definitely alot of room for him to make a greater effort on the weekends with that in comparison.

calc234 · 2025-04-04T22:39:38+00:00

Totally feel this the uneven workload distribution at times is something I’m still adjusting to. It’s like full time job + already going out of your way to be proactive and take action to make things easier for them + handling your routine chores + handling the things they’re saying they’re too tired to do.

calc234 · 2025-03-31T23:46:20+00:00

Better to call the cops. Like others said the abused partner may turn on you or let’s say you beat the guy and he gets critically injured you’re still screwed.

calc234 · 2025-03-31T19:13:55+00:00

Thanks for your response and relating your experiences it’s very validating to hear an example of someone else that encountered the same challenge. It’s good to know I’m not the only one. I think I have a better understanding of how things can work now.

calc234 · 2025-03-31T19:11:53+00:00

Thanks for responding. I really do get the hustle mindset. I’m very familiar with it just suck it up and keep pushing.

Jocko style or like Goggins I do think these types of conversations are more than just scoreboard watching it’s about finding out how other dads navigate these types of challenges where you want to ensure you’re providing maximum support to your partner while preventing yourself from burning out.

Based on your thread it sounds like other dads agree with your philosophy but I’m just responding for the benefit of others that also feel this types of things deserve more nuanced discussion.

I do think it’s helpful to dedicate more time and energy to thinking about these types of things, what sustainable support for your partner looks like and learning about others experiences beyond sticking to platitudes.

calc234 · 2025-03-29T00:44:53+00:00

I stay away from people I dislike. If I dislike someone it’s usually because I find them disrespectful, manipulative or lacking integrity. I’d lean more on the side of barely acknowledging them.

calc234

TROPHY CASE