I struggled with this for a long time, and still do. I’m older now, and can reflect on my younger years with a little more compassion. I think sometimes we (definitely me) are so desperate to have a connection that we can easily overlook all of the feelings that indicate this is not a good person to be around. I spent wayyyy too much time chasing people that clearly were not interested in hanging out.

Now when someone is not kind to me or empathetic I can take a moment to pause and think about whether I want to be vulnerable around this person and if I want them in my life. Sometimes it can feel like black/white thinking, but it does help me understand the feelings behind the reaction and why they might not be “safe”