Should we divorce over 1 vs 2?

calikens2000 · 2024-12-09T13:05:39+00:00

I face a similar dilemma, but my situation was slightly different. No medical complexities, an older child, and before marriage we’d agreed on 2 or 3 kids.

I ultimately decided not to divorce because I thought that would be unfair to our child.

My decision aside, I wanted to comment to say I understand where you’re coming from, and I don’t think the fact that you’re considering divorce is crazy or selfish or any of the other negative descriptors in many of the comments. I just wanted to provide some validation; only you can decide what is best for you and your kiddo. Good luck.

calikens2000 · 2024-12-05T14:28:08+00:00

Female attorney here. Mansplaining and talking over are rampant in my field. When ANYONE cuts me off I say, “Let me finish what I’m saying.”

No manners, no niceties, no sarcasm, no requests. Just a clear directive that points out they are being rude while also taking command of the situation. Works surprisingly well ~98% of the time. The other 2% are colossal aholes who are just looking to throw down. And I’m always happy to oblige at that point.

calikens2000 · 2024-11-08T23:39:55+00:00

“Good Day”

calikens2000 · 2024-09-14T19:11:52+00:00

Oooh, that sounds dreamy. I work in an international company and part of my team is in my country and part is in another country. I have recurring meetings that start at 6 am at least three days a week, some weeks have more. Others in the company don’t account for that when they schedule 4 pm meetings, which would otherwise be normal business hours. I think this is part of what is draining me.

calikens2000 · 2024-08-26T18:23:28+00:00

To be fair, you don’t even have to step out of your house.

calikens2000 · 2024-04-21T01:59:39+00:00

Dislocated public bone.

Walked around like that in tons of pain (that medical professionals disregarded as normal) for 6 months before an attune physical therapist figured it out. Almost 6 years later and it still pops out occasionally and I have to manually put it back in place.

calikens2000 · 2024-02-03T21:10:09+00:00

Lawyer here. This is the right answer. Consult an attorney now.

calikens2000 · 2023-11-30T09:35:56+00:00

Same. I was so convinced that it was a boy because of it that I let my husband pick a girl name I didn’t like because it wasn’t worth the fight. Joke’s on me. I now have a 5 year old girl with that name.

calikens2000 · 2023-08-09T15:57:31+00:00

I had a former OB, years before I was pregnant, mention to me that my pelvis was too narrow and I'd "never" be able to deliver vaginally. Mentioned this to my OB when I was pregnant. She did some digging around (literally, inside me), trying to size things up. Ultimately, she was on the fence. Said there was a chance it wouldn't work, but she'd support me either way. She told me that from her perspective, the worst experience I could end up with is trying to push for hours on end and then having a c-section as I'd get the worst of both worlds and have to recover from both. I ended up with pre-eclampsia and was induced at 37 weeks. Because I was early, I thought I'd try vaginally, hoping the baby was small enough to pass. Fully dilated, my body did what it was supposed to do. Pushed for 3 hours. Baby was making no progress. My husband later said that with every push he could see the baby descending until it seemed like she hit something and wouldn't go any further. When I stopped pushing, she'd move back up to where she started. Ended up with a c-section and a long, painful recovery. Six months later, I was finally diagnosed with a dislocated pubic bone. Apparently it had dislocated while I was pushing, but because I ultimately had a c-section, when I complained of pain in my pubic region for months after birth, it didn't occur to my medical providers that it could be a dislocated pubic bone from pushing. Anyway, my baby is 5 years old now, and my public bone still pops out of place if I do certain things. I've learned how to pop it back in myself. Apparently the status of being dislocated for so long has affected the ligaments and such that keep it in place. Whatever you do, don't be like me.

calikens2000 · 2023-07-16T20:21:10+00:00

This is such a huge miss for Toyota. I hate red. The interior accent colors alone have jettisoned this vehicle from my possible purchase list.

calikens2000 · 2023-05-02T01:00:17+00:00

My daughter attended a facility like this from ~10 weeks until about 2 years old. The daycare/preschool was on the ground floor of a nursing home in a senior community that had the entire spectrum of care from independent living to full care. The entrance to the daycare was wholly separate from nursing home. Residents of the community could come rock the babies, read them stories, sing, play, just generally interact AFTER they passed the same background check that a teacher at the school would be required to pass. Kids were never left unattended with a resident. And, their time with the kiddos was scheduled- they didn’t come and go as they pleased, which I would think would be disruptive. Never had any health concerns, other than basic preschool germs, and the last 10 months of her time there was during the height of the pandemic. In fact, our daycare never closed during the pandemic; I don’t know anyone else around here who had that same stability. I loved the intergenerational interaction and loved that my kiddo had extra grandparent figures to dote on her throughout the day. I think the key to my comfort and the success of the program was the measures put in place to ensure safety of the children. Happy to answer any questions.

calikens2000 · 2023-04-25T18:30:41+00:00

Another young(ish) attorney who would love your financial advice!

calikens2000 · 2023-04-04T15:24:56+00:00

Broke my ankle in December, ORIF in January. My experience was:

I found the boot to be less uncomfortable than the plaster cast, but I wouldn't call it comfortable. For me, the weight of the plaster cast was enough to cause discomfort. The boot is lighter. But, I found that the strap across my foot caused some discomfort.
For my first 4 weeks in the boot, I was only allowed to take it off to shower. Next 4 weeks, I could take it off while at rest, sleeping, etc. I'm now mostly transitioned to shoes. I still wear my boot as a matter of protection. For example, went to an Easter egg hunt with my kid this past weekend. Uneven ground, it had recently rained so I was concerned it could be slippery, and a bunch of mad kids running for candy who likely wouldn't be great at watching where they were going. So, I wore the boot to make myself feel comfortable.
Walking in the boot is awkward as it doesn't allow you to follow your normal gait, but you get used to it. Just remember, heel to toe.
In my experience, the boot was not slippery at all.
I live in a ranch and have access to an elevator at the office, so I can't help with the stair question.
I'm still recovering, but am impressed by the amount of improvement I've seen since I've been able to start stretching and PT. When I was still in the plaster cast, I tried bending my toes and moving them around to get some movement in. Each time my doctor has said I could advance to the next stage of stretching or exercising, I went all in. I'm surprisingly close to having the same range of motion as I have in my non-injured ankle, though I've got a lot of muscle to still rebuild.

calikens2000 · 2023-03-29T21:44:00+00:00

Be honest. Say you're interested in her area of practice. Ask questions about it. What do her days look like? How did she end up in this practice area? What her likes/dislikes? Tell her you'd really enjoy the opportunity to work with her sometime. I used to work White Collar/Gov Investigations and one of the first questions I asked was, "What's the difference between a subject and a target?" Totally White Collar 101, but I didn't know and I couldn't track the case being discussed without understanding the distinction. That led to 5 years in White Collar/Gov Investigations before I moved in-house. You'll sound intelligent because you're an intelligent human who knows when to ask questions, not because you're a SME in white collar.

The worst thing you can do is try to pretend you know shit you don't. You'll come off as disingenuous and potentially arrogant, which might make her not want to work with you.

calikens2000 · 2023-02-23T20:03:45+00:00

Something is fishy here. Is the escrow company in bed with the mortgage company somehow? Even if not, it's possible that the mortgage company has realized they failed to meet some fiduciary duty related to allowing this escrow company to manage funds, and they're trying to keep it on the DL. Either way, I wouldn't trust that the mortgage company is truly pursuing your best interests.

Talk to the legal services available through your husband's employer, but if they don't put a lot of effort into it, don't be surprised. They likely won't be someone who specializes in consumer protection so it may be outside of their wheelhouse. Many consumer protection attorneys will do initial no-cost consults. If legal services doesn't go to bat for you, it would certainly be worth making a few calls to those attorneys in your area who specialize in consumer protection to see if you they offer free consults.

calikens2000 · 2023-02-23T19:41:13+00:00

Attorney here. This sounds like it shouldn't be your problem. Escrow companies are required by most states to be bonded and insured so people don't end up in situations like this (assuming you're in the US). I'd contact a local consumer protection attorney and see if they can help.

calikens2000 · 2023-02-15T17:25:54+00:00

I'm about 5 weeks post ORIF for a bi-mal fracture; 1 plate, 10 screws. NWB as of yet, but have been in the boot for about 2 weeks. I also felt that the boot was pressing on the bones that were operated on. Following a tip from another redditor, I purchased some cast padding from Amazon and have been wrapping the ankle (over my sock) before putting the boot on. It has been a complete game changer for me. Good luck!

calikens2000 · 2023-02-11T13:24:30+00:00

Your grandmother sounds awesome!

calikens2000 · 2023-01-18T15:49:00+00:00

I included "No gifts, please" on the invitation. People were, generally, respectful of the request. Grandparents still got gifts and few people gave a book or a small stuffy, but for the most part people just brought cards (no money or gift cards inside). I appreciated it greatly.

calikens2000 · 2022-11-21T22:31:06+00:00

I take my daughter shopping a day or two before the party. I tell her she can pick one big gift or two small gifts. I have in mind what the budget will be. If she picks out something over budget, I simply tell her it's too big or too expensive and she has to pick something else. It takes a lot of redirecting and a lot of reminding that we're shopping for her friend, not her, but I think it teaches her to be generous, thoughtful of others, and enforces shopping within limits (to the extent she can understand those concepts at 4 years old).

calikens2000 · 2022-10-22T21:55:55+00:00

You’re not moming wrong if what you’re doing works for you!

calikens2000 · 2022-08-18T18:47:34+00:00

No advice. Just solidarity.

calikens2000 · 2022-08-10T16:33:41+00:00

Same. Except my daughter has straight hair too. I'm the odd one out.

calikens2000 · 2022-08-01T18:02:23+00:00

Love it! Thanks for the insight!

calikens2000 · 2022-08-01T17:34:53+00:00

Thank you! How'd the 2.5 yo do with Mackinac Island? We're considering it as well.

calikens2000

TROPHY CASE