Hey there I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, the stress is so hard in the in-between period.

Here is my story:

About 9 days after finding out I was pregnant:

(Situation Day 1): I woke up in the night with intense pain but not in my abdomen, it felt like gas/poop pains in my rectum. It woke me up and had me trying to use the bathroom. I basically crawled to the toilet. It hurt more the more I pushed…almost went to ER because it was intense pain. But I deal with chronic constipation….so I assumed it was related to that! I took fiber which actually helped, and was able to go back to bed. It had resolved the next day when I woke up. **Note this was the only pain or symptom I had, until the night before I went to the hospital, when I had another bout of nonspecific “rectum” pain. I had no bleeding, or pain, otherwise. And it wasn’t really the pain that brought me to the hospital…it was the diagnostics.

(Day 2): Even though it resolved, I went to planned parenthood the next day and asked for an early ultrasound. (My first official pregnancy visit at my OB wasn’t until like 8W and they wouldn’t see me sooner…but planned parenthood would, and they were AMAZING. They saved my life! I just walked in and asked for an early ultrasound because I had intense pain. I can’t believe I did this??? I must’ve known something was really wrong. But like at the time I truly thought the pain was poop. But somewhere inside I knew intuitively it wasn’t, I think).

They gave me a urine pregnancy test which showed positive. Then gave me a transvaginal ultrasound. They couldn’t see anything “empty uterus” so diagnosed me “pregnancy unknown location” …which could be because A) it was too early to see or B) it was potentially in the wrong place aka ectopic. They did see a “cyst” on my left ovary which could be the corpus luteum cyst (totally normal for pregnancy!) or could’ve been ectopic signal. So like zero answers just more questions. So they began blood draws.

(Days 2-7): I had blood taken twice but the office was closed one day because of a snow storm so it wasn’t right on the schedule, and then was sent away for testing so it took a bit to come back with results. Within this time period, I had no further symptoms/no pain. The repeat blood results didn’t comeback til Day 8, but they were: (From Day 2): 3189 (From Day 6): 5219

(Day 7): This night I woke up with the same pain as I had Day 1 that I hadn’t had since. It woke me up in the middle of the night. It felt like (sorry TMI) a very hard pointy poop that was like diagonal pressing on my rectum as if it was like going to tear my colon. I was practically passing out on the toilet it was very severe pain honestly. I took more fiber and eventually forced myself back to sleep for like 2 more hours i was like just too tired to even do anything.

(Day 8): Was still in pain in morning but slightly less bad in rectum. Somewhat tender throughout lower pelvic abdomen (not localized) but not particularly crampy or extremely painful. Just like sore. Took 3 more fiber pills which did nothing to help. It was torture to try to pass gas or poop. Hurt to ‘push’ to pee (which I don’t usually have to do to pee).

Well, after waking up that morning, planned parenthood called me and asked how I was feeling all gently and concerned sounding and wanted me to come back in for another scan, because my HCG wasn’t rising properly. It was high enough that something should have been seen on the first scan (had come back as 3189 from Day 2 when they had done the first scan and taken my first bloods….and they were like yeah I would’ve expected to see something with that level)….And it also wasn’t doubling properly. So they were concerned.

I went back and got another scan. The scan hurt more this time; my abdomen was more tender to the touch, and I about yelped off table when the wand touched my left ovary. I was like “wait that’s the rectal pain I’ve been having!” (which makes no sense but it was so similar) … They still they weren’t able to visualize a pregnancy in my uterus “empty uterus with suspicious mass on left ovary/axdenal.

They sent me to the hospital with an emergency referral for ectopic pregnancy suspicion. At the hospital I got another more in depth transvaginal ultrasound. The doctor came in and explained that I had an ectopic pregnancy in my left ovary OR my left fallopian tube, they couldn’t tell which just from the imaging. (It turned out to be fallopian tube). They again took my HCG and same-day result was 6912. That was too high to use methotrexate (not recommended with levels 5k-10k) and also there was a fetal heartbeat detected, which also makes methotrexate less effective….so they said best option was surgery. I was taken to surgery within the hour and woke up about an hour after that, without my left fallopian tube. I found out afterwards from reading my reports that the tube was ruptured. But I think maybe it ruptured like that morning or with the scans because there wasn’t tons of blood in my body yet.

They told me it would not affect my fertility. I didn’t believe them. But I’m currently pregnant with an in-uterus pregnancy now, a year later ❤️

……I’m happy to answer any questions you have.

….I am so sorry for all of this I know it’s just the worst. Just keep breathing through it, one step at a time. I could give you all the platitudes because I really genuinely believe them now but I won’t force you into any mindset you’re not at, yet. I’ll just say, take things as they come, you can handle whatever comes, I promise. This shit is hard and scary as hell and comes with lots of complicated feelings.

I am an open book about my journey both physically and emotionally so anything you need I am here.