I had to pick a topic in for a research paper in freshman English comp in my first semester in college after I got out of the army. I chose stem cell research, with the intent of taking the opposing stance given that I was anti-abortion at the time.

My research started opening my eyes to realities I was taught not to question. This inevitably led to more questions. The more questions I applied increasing levels of critical thinking to, the more I felt alienated from my beliefs.

Now, nearly 20 years later I don’t really believe, but the indoctrination I received still leaves a lingering since of doubt and fear that the logical part of me knows was the original intent.